America Freedom Gun Owners Christianity BBQ LLC Registers as Foreign Agent of China

GLEN ROCK, PENNSYLVANIA — A real estate management corporation known as “America Freedom Gun Owners Christianity BBQ, LLC” was forced by a plea deal with the DOJ’s National Security Division to register as a foreign agent of the People’s Republic of China under the Foreign Agents Registration Act (FARA) to defer prosecution. In a a press release, acting US Attorney for Eastern Pennsylvania David Metcalf said that the “prosecution of this front business as an unregistered foreign agent represents one step in a series of moves the federal government is taking to protect the national security of the country from Chinese subterfuge.” China, as an economic rival to the US, has repeatedly taken several measures to subtly increase and tighten its presence in the country, including sending spies to report on dissident Chinese nationals, stealing patented trade secrets for recreation at Chinese factories, and flooding domestic markets with cheap counterfeit alternatives. Commenting on the case, Attorney General Pam Bondi said that “those yellow devils sure are tricky…[but] they will never understand what it means to be an American. They can appeal to our patriotism, to our values, and to our principles, but their Communist minds will never be able to internalize them. In cases like what came out of Glen Rock, they can act as pillars of the community for decades while secretly plotting to undermine the very people they serve.” At press time, the owner of America Freedom Gun Owners Christianity BBQ, LLC, Zhilong Lao, protested the charge, claiming that “he had nothing to do with China other than having been born there… I just put names for things American like so [that] they buy property from me.”