SHE CALLED TONY ELUMELU “TONY.”

And honestly, I believe the correction was necessary.

Not because she is a bad person.

Not because she intended to be disrespectful.

But because respect has a cultural context.

In many African societies, especially in Nigeria, we are taught from childhood that age, position and titles matter.

You don’t address everyone the same way.

You learn how to speak to your elders.

You learn how to address people in authority.

You learn when to use someone’s title.

You learn when familiarity is appropriate and when it isn’t.

And most importantly:

Nobody may sit you down and give you a 30-page manual on African etiquette.

You watch your parents.

You watch your older siblings.

You watch how adults address their elders.

You watch how people behave when they enter a room.

And you learn.

That’s why the saying:

is so important.

When you enter a new environment, observe the culture.

Learn the expectations.

Understand how people communicate.

And adapt accordingly.

The correction doesn’t necessarily mean the young woman is disrespectful.

It may simply mean:

“This is how we do things here.”

And there’s a much deeper lesson here.

Because this is exactly how many of our relationship patterns are formed.

A child watches how his father speaks to his mother.

She watches how her mother responds.

They watch how their parents resolve conflict.

They watch whether apologies happen.

They watch whether emotions are expressed.

They watch whether respect means silence.

They watch whether authority means fear.

They watch whether love means sacrifice.

They watch whether marriage means enduring everything.

And they absorb it.

Years later, they get married.

And they start reproducing some of those lessons without even realizing it.

Then they say:

“That’s just how I am.”

But sometimes...

THAT IS WHAT YOU LEARNED.

And what you learned can be examined.

What you learned can be unlearned.

What you inherited can be interrupted.

And what you don’t want to pass on can end with you.

This is one of the reasons we created:

🔥 BREAKING FREE FROM THE PATTERNS OF BROKEN HOMES

A 2-Day Online Intensive helping you examine how family experiences and childhood patterns can influence the relationships you build as an adult.

📅 29–30 August 2026

💻 Online

💰 ₦20,000 per couple

Singles can register too.

🎧 MP3 version included
🏆 Level 1 Certificate of Completion

Because the biggest question isn’t:

“Am I like my parents?”

The bigger question is:

You may not have chosen everything you learned growing up.

🔥 BREAK THE CYCLE. BUILD DIFFERENTLY.

Register for Breaking Free From the Patterns of Broken Homes

REGISTER HERE

💳 ZENITH BANK
1228687969
The Marriage Seal Academy

📲 Send payment receipt to:
0906 063 9627