Equilibrium, Spirituality for Everyday People

I hope you enjoy this excerpt from my book Equilibrium. I self-published this book in 2019 after a nudge from Spirit to share all the things I’d experienced and learned during my spiritual awakening and ensuing spiritual journey. I knew I had some very cool stories to tell! And that my way of approaching spirituality - the ‘everyday’, natural way - would resonate with women all over the world.

I was right. This book has reached the hearts and souls of hundreds of women over the years. She is changing lives, one page - one word - at a time.

CHAPTER 10 | LIFESTYLE BALANCES: CHOICES AND CHANGE

Every single choice we make is sending the Universe a message. And sometimes without realising it, the choices we make hold us back from bigger and better things. If your life is in turmoil and you aren’t making any changes, then you have made the choice to stay and live in turmoil. Sometimes we get stuck in situations and we feel trapped; like we have no choice.

I am here to tell you that you always have a choice. You could make the choice to stay in the same situation, without making any effort to make a change. Staying put is a choice. Not being open to change is a choice.

Instead, you could choose to make a phone call to a friend for help. You could choose to start actively job-hunting because you hate your current job. Perhaps you will choose to spoil yourself for one day – just one day! – because you feel physically and emotionally drained from supporting everyone else in your life. You may choose to turn off your mobile phone for an hour, a day, or longer so you can have some me time without distraction. The choice is yours.

BELINDA’S STORY

Here is a story to demonstrate the power of choices, and how the decisions we make can affect every aspect of our lives by either keeping us stuck in the same spot, or by generating change. This is based on the true story of someone dear to me, so I have witnessed much of what is described in this story. I watched someone I love go from being happy, to miserable, to happy again and the only thing that contributed to this was choices and change.

Not only did they learn some massive lessons on choices and change, I learned them too. And now I would like to share this story with you, to encourage you to be brave enough to make those tough choices and face change head on.

Belinda works as a retail assistant at a popular clothing chain. She has been working in that same shop for a couple of years and she applied for this job because it was her dream job and she told the store owner exactly this during her interview for the position. This job suited her bubbly and bright personality, her love of fashion, and her love of people.

In the beginning she was enthusiastic, dedicated, eager to learn, punctual and she was super-friendly to all the other staff and customers. In time, she made some strong connections with two other staff members and ended up becoming the best of friends with them. These three ladies spent lots of time together out of work hours; they would go away for weekends together, having the best times.

They were always calling each other or sending funny text messages back and forth. They confided in each other when they were feeling down or needed someone to talk to. Belinda was blissfully happy!

Life couldn’t get any better. As the months went by, Belinda started to feel little tinges of frustration at work. Little things were starting to bug her. She dismissed these persistent feelings and kept working hard, pushing herself to keep up her enthusiasm and dedication to the job. Every day, it got a little harder.

She was starting to have silly little arguments with a couple of the other staff members and she was finding herself counting down the hours until knock off time. It was starting to sink in now; she was not loving this job. But this was her ultimate dream job! She had wanted this job so badly, and in the beginning it was amazing, but she was now struggling to remember what it felt like to wake up and be excited about coming to work.

If it weren’t for her best friends also working there, she wasn’t even sure if she could muster the strength to go to work every day. On top of this, she was having these strange, inner thoughts about working for the opposition chain on the other side of town. Thoughts that she’d tossed around from time to time over the years. They popped in and out of her head like delicious little daydreams.

This other fashion house, Belinda told herself, was only that – a dream. It could never be a reality; they would never employ her. She wasn’t classy enough or savvy enough. So she pushed those thoughts away, rejecting them with scorn.

As the months continued to tick by, Belinda started to resent her job and most of the people she worked with. The customers were even annoying her! She usually adores her customers – what on earth was going on?

Belinda’s health started to deteriorate and she was starting to have the odd sick day here and there, which was very out of character for her. She was bringing her work frustrations home and was taking it out on her family. She was short-tempered and tired all the time; not her usual chatty self. And she really, really hated her job.

She felt like she had no other choice but to continue working there because she needed the money. She felt obligated to stick it out, because this was supposed to be her dream job and her inner desire to work at the highly coveted opposition chain was completely unreasonable; what else could she do?

Belinda was actively choosing to stay in a bad situation. She felt like she had no choice, but she did have a choice. What message was she sending the Universe by staying put? She was saying that it was okay to stay there, so the Universe was obliging. There was not going to be a change, unless she allowed the change. Or unless the Universe played its hand and forced the change by throwing something massive Belinda’s way.

Belinda had a chat to her friend one night, over a glass of wine, about her work frustrations and how badly it seemed to be impacting on her in so many ways. Her friend suggested she start job hunting because, what’s the worst that could happen? She doesn’t get any interviews. What’s the best that could happen? She gets a new job!

Belinda’s friend helped her realise that all is not lost. That she does have a choice beyond staying put. The other options are indeed scary, but isn’t all change scary? Despite her current comfort zone being miserable, the thought of stepping out of this comfort zone frightened her. The thought of not being able to see what was ahead in her journey, that had up until this point been all mapped out and familiar and comfortable, was terrifying.

Belinda realised she had to push through her fear of the unknown. She knew she had nothing to lose, so she updated her resume and started applying for jobs she was feeling drawn to.

The fact that Belinda made a conscious choice to put her focus elsewhere, brought about some changes in her life. She didn’t seem to be getting the flu all the time, like she used to. And she didn’t feel quite so tired all the time. Belinda turning her attention to getting another job, sent a message to the Universe that she was ready for change, and the Universe was obliging.

Belinda now works for the company she originally thought was way out of her reach, and she is blissfully happy once more! It turns out that her fears of not being good enough were unfounded. It turns out, the managers of this retail chain were beside themselves with excitement over her application.

She adores her new job and she earns more money. She has a great boss and she works better hours. She still has her two best friends and things are falling into place. Belinda realised, upon reflection, there was a reason for everything that had unfolded in those past few months.

She realised she was meant to take that first job, because without it she would never have met her two best friends. She realised the purpose of that first job was to connect the three women and kindle their new friendships. And she realised this was the sole purpose of that first job. It wasn’t serving any other purpose for her, once the friendships were established.

She realised that, had she trusted her instincts months ago, she could have saved herself a lot of pain and anguish. Had she trusted her instincts, she would have acknowledged that things weren’t right and she would have pushed through her fear sooner and made a change.

She also realised that, although it was a very trying few months, she had learned many lessons – the biggest being: trust her instincts; those persistent little daydreams. And the other lesson: don’t let fear of change cripple her!

Learn to read the signs from the Universe, because they are everywhere! The Universe was telling Belinda that it was time to move on, and her intuition was validating this same message, but she wasn’t listening to either of them.

CHOICES AND INTUITION

Choices are presented to us all the time, every day. And who better to help us make these choices, than our own intuition? Can you see a pattern emerging here? Intuition is in the spotlight again! Intuition is our soul energy communicating with us. Our soul energy knows best, every time, without fail.

Sometimes, yes, we misinterpret what the message is but, as we’ve already learned, that doesn’t mean we should ignore it or lose faith in it. Life is a special journey, and one where we will have many speed bumps along the way. But that’s life – we learn from our mistakes, and we relish in the bliss of all the good bits.

As a healer and spirit communicator, I am often helping other people figure out the best way forward for them; providing them with clarity and confidence through the energy healing sessions, so they can make more informed choices. Sometimes the spirit messages seem confusing and my ego will occasionally step in for a second and say to me: you can’t send her away with a message like that. You haven’t solved the problem for her! But I am now very quick to silence my ego.

I allow myself to go back to my heart space where I can replay the message and then I am able to feel if it is the right message for that person, at that moment in time. If I get a comforting, peaceful feeling wash over me, I am happy to send that person on their way. This peaceful feeling is my intuition stepping up and giving me a helping hand. I am using my intuition to help others choose which path to take; which choice to make.

You can do this too! You may or may not be able to communicate with other souls, but you can absolutely learn to communicate with your own soul – after all, it is yours. Once you feel a strong connection to your intuition, let it guide you when making your own decisions. Practice and determination. You got this.

TOOLS FOR CHANGE

How can you bring about change in your life through the choices you make? There are some handy little tools that can help you with this! De-cluttering your life is a great self-care action and this is discussed in more detail later in the book. De-cluttering is also the act of making a change. The act of removing things from your life that are no longer necessary or needed is sending a message to the Universe that you are finally done with it and are now ready for new things to come your way.

These new things may be possessions, relationships, or life experiences. Sometimes you may not be entirely sure what new things you would like in your life and if that’s the case, don’t worry because I believe the Universe is an ever-knowing energy, and it will bring to you whatever it is you need at that particular stage of your life journey. All you need to do is trust that what comes your way is for your highest good and let the Universe and destiny and fate and what will be, will be take care of the rest.

VISION BOARDS

On the other hand, if you know exactly what you want, you need to introduce yourself to the concept of vision boards. These lovely little tools are an effective way of providing yourself with something you desire in your life.

You can create a virtual or a physical vision board. And you can put on this board whatever you like. I like to keep my vision boards focussed on one area or topic, but it won’t matter if you scatter lots of random desires on the one board.

I was a self-employed bookkeeper before I discovered universal energy and spirituality. I owned my little bookkeeping business for about seven years and it was ticking along nicely, but I knew it was capable of more. At that time, my business was turning over around twenty-thousand Australian dollars per year and I had previously been happy with that because it was injecting a nice little bit of extra cash flow for my family.

Now however, I was determined to launch my little sole trader business into a big bookkeeping enterprise. I had just finished reading a book on manifestation and I thought it sounded like a fantastic way to boost my business to my visionary end goal I was fantasising about.

So off I go to my local stationery supplies store to purchase a cork board and some pin tacks. I laid the cork board on the floor of my loungeroom when I got home, dug out my kids’ stash of coloured markers and pens, grabbed a fistful of A4 paper from the recycling pile in the box under my desk, and I got busy creating my vision board. These were the items I added to my vision board for my business:

• To employ another bookkeeper to take on the bulk of the work, so I will be free to work on my business and not in my business.

• To be turning over one hundred thousand Australian dollars per year.

• To complete my Certificate Level Four in Bookkeeping within twelve months and obtain my BAS Agent Registration.

• To have my business operating independently, so I can then be free to do other things.

• To have at least fifteen clients on the books.

• Less stress!

• More family time!

I then added some extras to my vision board to finish it off; some stars and a few smiley faces too – if I’m going to be looking at it every day, I want it to be cute. Then I mounted my board on the wall of my home office and stood back to admire my work. I had some huge goals. I had lots of work to do!

I had no idea how it was going to happen but I trusted that my vision board, combined with my positive thinking, would send enough positive vibes my business’s way and enough messages to the Universe for it to all fall into place, somehow.

The next twelve months tick by, and I have now completed my studies and attained my Certificate Level Four in Bookkeeping and I have employed another bookkeeper to help reduce my workload. I had also managed to pick up an extra client. It was a lot of hard work, and without the support of my amazing husband I could never have managed to pull those first-year achievements off.

Year two rolls around, and I’ve had a couple of hiccups. There were some frustrating times – many lessons learned! The day I put my big girl pants on and took action on some things that had been plaguing me for months, was the day that everything started to fall into place. This was the day I pushed through my fear and soldiered on bravely, into the unknown.

I made a very desperate phone call to a bookkeeping colleague who was also a sole trader, to ask if she wanted some more work. It was a long shot, and I had a feeling she would say no, but I had to try. Those couple of minutes felt like I was on autopilot. Her name popped into my head from out of nowhere, and I immediately found her number and dialled as fast as I could, before my mind took over and told me to settle down and think it through.

As expected, she told me she couldn’t take on any more work and my heart sank, but then she asked if I would like the phone number of a friend of hers who might be looking for some bookkeeping work. This helped my heart recover, ever so slightly.

Enter, the lady who turned my bookkeeping business around and gave me hope that things would work out in the end. She started with me the next day. I went from having zero options, to having a huge silver lining presented to me.

Suddenly, my little business took off. I had new clients coming out of my ears, and between the two of us we had things running like clockwork. It was fantastic!

My turnover had increased significantly, and I was working hard on my business; attracting new clients, establishing working relationships with local accountants, promoting my business. Before I knew it, I was a fully certified bookkeeper, I was a registered BAS Agent, I had one employee, I had fifteen clients on my books, and I realised I was looking at turning over almost one hundred thousand dollars in that financial year. And it all just kind of happened.

Yes, I worked extremely hard that year, but knowing I had ticked off most of my desires from my vision board was very satisfying. It was a whirlwind year.

It was during that same two-year period that I first learned of spiritual energy, so I was experiencing all of that on the side, as well as running my successful bookkeeping business. Things came to a head one day, when I realised I couldn’t keep working on two businesses at once, so I had to make a decision. I had to choose between my two businesses – healing, or bookkeeping? I chose healing.

As soon as I made that decision, the final goals from my vision board fell into place. I sold my bookkeeping business to my employee and it was an effortless process – no fuss or drama whatsoever. Suddenly, I had boosted my turnover to being just over my target of one hundred thousand dollars. I had also removed the stress factor from my work and was now able to spend more time with my family. Oh, and my bookkeeping business was now Lifestyle Balances: Choices and Change 99 running independently of me, I had generated a nice little income boost, and I was now free to do other things. Those last couple of goals weren’t quite the way I had originally foreseen them, but they had happened nonetheless.

Every single thing on my vision board wish-list had been achieved! Sometimes, I had to put the hard yards in and work like crazy to get what I wanted. Then other times, things just happened without me having to do or say much at all. It was a combination of hard work, and trust in the Universe and in my own instincts, that saw my vision board come to fruition.

That is just one example of when I have used the help of a vision board to achieve success in my life. And I know of many other people who have used this tool with success, also. I am here to tell you that it works. And it’s fun!

Vision boards are the epitome of visualisation techniques. They are visuals of what you desire, right smack bang in your face all the time. Every time you look at it, you are giving it energy and power. You are putting your visualisations down in hard copy, giving them substance. You are manifesting what you want in your life.

I use visualisation techniques every single time I perform a healing on someone. I use them in my own life, every single day – several times a day! I cannot emphasise enough how powerful our thoughts are; if I didn’t use the power of my thoughts at times when I did healings, my healings would be nowhere near as effective. I visualise the energy of the Universe flooding me and pouring out of my hands and into my client. I visualise that same energy flooding the person’s body, filling them with love and light.

This often results in me feeling the energy on a much stronger level, and often results in the client feeling huge sensations moving through their body. So put that amazing power you hold to good use and channel it to your vision board and to your deepest desires.

POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS

My second favourite tool for bringing about change, is regular positive affirmations. These little beauties will help you manifest good things in your life. An affirmation is a declaration or a proclamation. Positive affirmations are positive statements that you say or think every day, and because your thoughts are energy, you are sending all that daily positive energy directly to the subject of the statement. Here is one of my favourite examples:

I am love. I am deserving of love and I effortlessly receive love from all areas of my life.

This little positive affirmation is sending a very powerful message to your own soul energy, your own body, other people, and to the Universe, that you are nothing but love. Everything you are is love. This is what you want and what you deserve in your life. By making this affirmation every day, you are fuelling the affirmation with lots of energy – it will magnify and quantify. It will become your reality.

I will briefly mention there is a flip side to positive affirmations. Negative affirmations. It is worth discussing, because you may be sending out negative affirmations and not realise it. If you can bring your awareness to what you are inadvertently doing, you can make a change.

The next time you catch yourself saying or thinking things like my life sucks or, I hate my hair or, this food is so bad for me, remind yourself that you are projecting negative affirmations out to the Universe and because you are sending lots of negative energy to those subjects, you are never going to achieve your desires. When you do make a negative statement, acknowledge it and then send love. Remember, love trumps everything. So, no matter what you do in life, no matter how many mistakes you make, always come back to love.

Positive affirmations will bring you joy, happiness, peace, harmony, fun and laughter, good times! They have the power to transform your life. They have the power to bring about huge and often unexpected changes in your life. Nothing but good things can come from working with positive affirmations. You are sending a very clear message to the Universe that this is what you desire.

Another brief reality check, if I may: sometimes for us to achieve our deepest desires and for us to come closer to what the Universe has in store for us, we need to go through changes or experiences that aren’t pleasant. Sometimes, by manifesting a better life for ourselves, we are forced to travel through some rough patches. These low points in our life are an important part of the journey and the best thing we can do is pick ourselves up and keep going. Learn the lesson, remind yourself that this low moment in your life is temporary, and keep moving forward.

Some people may argue that these low moments disprove the whole concept of your ability to bring about positive change. They may say if you try and manifest something good, and something bad ends up happening, it simply didn’t work.

I say to those people: look at the bigger picture. Change your perspective; cast your awareness wider than the problem you are being faced with.

I also say that the act of believing in something – of holding on to hope – is in and of itself sometimes more important than the outcome. If you do nothing else, at least hold on to hope and keep believing. It will give you strength you never knew you had.

Back to our positive affirmations. Here are some other little crackers that you might like to put on repeat, to bring about happiness in your life.

POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS

‘I have limitless abundance in my life, in all areas.’

‘My community is a safe place; my neighbours are my friends.’

‘I am ready for change. I do not dwell on the past.’

‘I have a deep respect for and connection with Mother Earth. This land where I live is fertile, fruitful and healthy.’

‘I possess all the wisdom and knowledge I will ever need. I connect with this wisdom through intuition and learning.’

‘Peace surrounds me. I can feel it and I am also at peace.’

‘I am successful in everything I do. I achieve my goals effortlessly.’

If you are interested in working with positive affirmations but are struggling to come up with your own, there is a huge selection available to you. There are apps you can download onto your mobile phone or electronic device, there are websites devoted to a plethora of positive affirmations. There are positive affirmations in print that are available to purchase, making a beautiful addition to your home or office décor. They are printed on t-shirts. They are all over social media!

You should have no trouble at all getting your hands on some positive affirmations that resonate with you. Once you have these little babies on your team, get ready for positive change to come your way.

OTHER WAYS TO BRING ABOUT CHANGE

Do you need some more suggestions to kick start a change in your life?

• Research ways to reduce your debt and increase your cash flow. The Barefoot Investor is a good place to start. Look him up online – and no, I am not working for him or with him in any way. I just love the way he works! I also love marketplace websites – being able to sell or give away all possessions you no longer need is very liberating. Especially if that possession is costing you money unnecessarily and you don’t need or want it anymore. Get rid of it.

• Figure out how you can reshuffle your day, to allow yourself some me time – every single day! You should be your number one priority. You know that hour or so you spend on social media, scrolling mindlessly through news feeds every day? Scrap that and replace it with something you love to do. Or dedicate a day or two a week to being social media free. Then go for a walk! Catch up with a friend. Meditate. Read a book. Go get your nails done. Do something, do anything, for yourself!

• Make time in your day to devote to your loved ones. You need to be present. You need to keep the communication lines open at all times. Once the communication stops, relationships falter fast. If you are not being in the moment when you spend time with your loved ones, the connection with them becomes weak. Imagine, for example, your current relationship thriving because you chose to devote as much time to this as you did to those other new and exciting relationships emerging around you!

• Think of an area in your life you are not happy with. Now think about a change you can make to help that area become better and brighter. And if you can’t think of anything you can do to make a change, refer to the notes in this chapter to help you out. If you still feel stuck, then at the very least, start each day with a daily affirmation like, ‘I am open to change. I accept change for my highest good. The Universe will deliver; I am ready.’

THE IMPORTANCE OF LIFESTYLE BALANCE

Finding a balance in your everyday life can seem tricky sometimes. You may even think that finding a healthy, happy life balance is impossible to achieve.

I don’t have any time for myself anymore. All I do is work, look after the kids, study, keep the house tidy. I am too exhausted at the end of the day to be bothered doing anything of an evening. I feel so drained when I wake every morning; I try to get a solid night’s sleep but sometimes I just don’t have time to get to bed until midnight or after. I feel like I am on autopilot, just rushing through my life trying to pay bills and keep my family happy.

Sound familiar? You are not alone.

The choices we are making today are putting enormous amounts of pressure on us. Some people have three jobs, just to pay the bills. Some people are trying to survive on three hours sleep each night. Some people are experiencing relationships falling down around them that might otherwise have thrived, had these relationships been given the time and energy they deserved.

Credit card debt is skyrocketing as we scramble to live a lifestyle that seems unsustainable. We are spreading ourselves dangerously thin, and the cracks are starting to show. Why are we even here? What are we doing with our lives? Are we living? Or are we simply existing?

What is the point to life?

I believe there must be a point, or we wouldn’t be here. There is so much more to life than just paying bills and running yourself ragged, day in and day out. If this is you, it’s time to sit down and brainstorm ways to bring about change to your life.

What is the point to life? Happiness! Happiness, love, relationships, adventures, lessons. Yes, life is hard. Sometimes, it’s really hard. But the good should always outweigh the bad. We work hard, we strive for success, we achieve our goals, we have fun!

We learn, we love, we teach. I believe these are the crucial elements to happiness here on Earth. So, let me ask you: how can you make a change in your life for the better? Baby steps. One little change at a time, or you will become overwhelmed and will find yourself back in the old habits that have been getting you nowhere.

LETTING GO OF THE PAST

There is no point dwelling on the past, it has already happened. And there isn’t a thing you can do to change the past. What you can do, is make peace with your past decisions and past choices that didn’t go to plan so you can keep moving forward. Leave the past where it belongs. You may feel like it’s not possible to let go of the past, no matter how hard you try and how desperately you want to let it go, but it is possible.

If there are repercussions happening now from past events or decisions, deal with them in the now. My favourite way of dealing with these things is by sending healing to whatever it is in the past that is still bothering or affecting you. It won’t change what happened, but it will set you free.

Having past events still affecting me in my daily life was one of the reasons I started seeking alternative ways to fix myself – to be happy again. I knew I had to let it all go, I just didn’t know how I was going to do it. At one stage, I didn’t think it was going to be possible to move on from my past decisions, relationships and mistakes. I thought it was going to be something I had to deal with every day, for the rest of my life. Boy, was I wrong!

I went to a psychologist, which helped but didn’t quite set me free. I went to a hypnotherapist, which helped but didn’t quite set me free. I talked to my family and friends about it, which helped but didn’t quite set me free. I wrote myself letters, which helped but didn’t quite set me free.

I tried so many things. I was so angry with myself for not being able to let it go. I knew I needed to do it, but I couldn’t do it. I now know that I was on the right track; all those things did help and I learned so much about myself along the way.

However, when energy healing and ultimately my spiritual awakening came into my life, I was transformed. My life changed in ways I never thought possible. One day, it dawned on me that those events from my past that had continuously haunted me for so many years, were no longer at the forefront of my mind. They had receded to the background of my thoughts, and I was finally free. I was at peace with my past; with those speed bumps that pulled me up in my tracks over the years gone by.

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There will always be speed bumps along the way. These not-so great days are inevitable. They come to us to teach us lessons. They come to us, to force change in our lives so that bigger and better things can come our way.

They also come to us, so we can experience the full range of human emotions. This human experience allows our soul energy to grow and expand. To learn. To evolve. Ride through the darker days as best you can, knowing that these times are temporary, and you will get through it. Keep reminding yourself there are better days ahead.

I encourage you to please make a choice right now, to bring more happiness into your life. You are a warrior! Practice and determination – remember? You can absolutely one hundred percent do this.

I believe in you. Your family and friends believe in you. The Universe believes in you. Now, it’s time for you to believe in yourself. Make the decision right now, to turn your life around for the better. You are no longer going to coast through this life on autopilot. You are taking charge and you are going to get busy living!

Copyright © Jo-Anne Worsfold, 2019

Equilibrium, Spirituality for Everyday People by Jo Worsfold is available at all good online and bricks and mortar bookstores.