Winding Down 2025 by Letting Go

Around this time last year I sent a newsletter about how instead of making a new year’s resolution, I was pausing to reflect on the highlights of my year. It made my heart sing when I heard from several people, expressing appreciation for the reminder to slow down and sharing moments you were grateful to look back on. I hope to hear your thoughts on this newsletter, too, but I should warn you...this one might be a little more uncomfortable!🙃

Over the past year I’ve spent a lot of time learning about different systems and traditions for self-discovery and exploration. I’m open to learning about just about anything, from things like hypnosis, astrology, tapping and Human Design. Each time I dig into learning, I find something so powerfully resonant that I can’t believe it’s taken 40+ years to open my mind to these systems!

One thing I came across recently that really has me thinking is about 2025 being the year of the snake. I don’t know much about the Chinese zodiac, but I have learned the year of the snake is all about transformation, rebirth and wisdom. And like the discomfort a snake feels when shedding its skin, the process often is uncomfortable. Looking back, I see this theme woven throughout my past year.

I’ve decided to say goodbye to some ideals and expectations that I’d been holding on to (for myself, for others, about life) realizing that clinging to them only held me back. I’ve let go of trying to conform to traditional approaches to business, learning to track down the rare resources and support that are more aligned with my values. I’ve even had to shed some structures and relationships that felt familiar and safe, because I needed the distance to wriggle my way forward.

Letting go is rarely easy and the metaphor of a snake shedding its skin is spot on. There’s the itch that told me I needed to be free of old skin, the outdated parts of my identity. There’s what feels like disorienting cloudy vision as I navigated unfamiliar territory. I felt emotionally drained and stressed at times, and the only relief came from hiding out and waiting. And like snakes soon after the shedding is done, there’s the sensitivity of their new skin, much like I feel every time I’m reminded of how vastly different I’ve chosen to approach my life. Even with all that discomfort, when I look back now I wouldn’t have it any other way.

We all go through periods of life where old habits, outdated stories, and misaligned expectations cling to us, sometimes as much as we cling to them. I lived like that for years, sensing there were things I needed to let go of but not quite sure what that meant. Sometimes I didn’t know what was troubling me, like that old skin was hidden from my line of sight. Even when I sought help, asking others to hold up a mirror, I still couldn’t see the full extent of what I was attached to. And there were moments when the thought of making a change felt too overwhelming. It seemed easier to keep up with the life I’d normalized, no matter how stressful and unhealthy. Until, that is, my spirit finally said, “enough is enough.”

Without even knowing about the year of the snake and what it represents until recently, this year I took a more intentional approach to letting things go. It was like my soul knew what it needed before my mind knew. While a snake might rub against rocks and squeeze through tight places to help speed things up, for me the process required a lot of stillness – acknowledging something was shifting...letting the discomfort in...practicing patience and self-compassion...seeing where it would take me. And every time I’ve come out on the other side grateful and feeling renewed!

If you’re wishing I had sent this sooner or wanting to do your own shedding in the short time that remains in 2025, I have good news – the Year of the Snake runs through February 16, 2026 the eve of the Chinese New Year! You’ve got time! And if this idea feels a little daunting, maybe these steps can help you do your own shedding:

1. Look to what you’ve already shed in your life. While the Chinese zodiac happens in a 12-year cycle, our lives are full of opportunities to let things go. What habits, beliefs, ideas, people or places have you let go of because they were no longer good for you? What were the intentional practices and daily reminders that got you through? Give yourself credit for what you learned, the resilience you developed, and consider how those things can serve you now.

2. Choose one belief that needs to change and name why. Beliefs hold a lot of power and at the same time, we have complete control in changing them. I often hear clients say things like: I think everyone depends on me, so I put my own needs last. I’ve been taught that idleness is laziness, so I never take time to rest. I believe I have to earn other people’s love, so it’s hard to be loving towards myself. Hearing themselves say these words seems to shine a light on just how unhelpful it is to hold on to those beliefs.

3. Come up with a counter to that belief to say it whenever the belief pops into your head. Whenever I think about affirmations, I can’t help but think of the Saturday Night Live character who used to look in the mirror and say “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog gone it, people like me.” 😂 Still, there is power in saying affirmations to yourself. Countering the pull to people-please by saying “Other people’s happiness is not my responsibility” or the pressure to overextend yourself by saying “I need and deserve rest” helps to rewire your thought-patterns. Taking a play out of the SNL playbook by saying these things in the mirror can be powerful as well. Just don’t be surprised if it’s more of an emotional moment than a comedic one.

4. Imagine an empowered and enlivened version of yourself that has let this thing go. Repeating an affirmation won’t do much if you’re still clinging to possible disastrous outcomes. Think of how much more energy you’ll have to give to the people and things that matter most to you. Think of how much more balanced and present you’ll be, and the ripple effects that will have on your relationships and experiences. And, if you imagine some sort of fallout from choosing healthier beliefs for yourself, it’s probably good to consider whether the fallout is ultimately worth it. Maybe there’s more to be shed than just a belief.

As we close out this year, I’ll be reflecting on all the things I’ve shed, letting gratitude strengthen those memories and helping me remember the resilience I’ve developed. I’ve already seen how letting some things go has helped me to be more present and loving towards the people around me, reminding me that the effort and discomfort was worth it.

One of the things I’ve shed stands out as I write this – the fear of being open in my writing and letting people see parts of me I’ve kept hidden for so long. For those of you who have reached out and encouraged me, you’ll never know how much that means. And to all, I wish you happy holidays full of warmth, love, rejuvenation, and maybe a little healthy shedding. 😘