Navigating Chaos with Heart

I have no interest in politics and its polarizing ways and I find the media industry’s sensationalist tactics appalling. But what’s happening right now has my attention, specifically the Gestapo-like deportations, the mass demonstrations in Minnesota and the killing of two demonstrators. On social media I keep seeing posts of people with differing opinions focused on trying to defend their stance or demolish someone else’s. Either way, these posts don’t compel me to choose a side. In fact, they strengthen my conviction that when we choose a side and root for that side to win, humanity loses.

That may sound grim but there’s something hopeful I see brewing beneath the surface. I see more posts ending with questions – What are we doing? Is this really who we are? Rather than taking that as a sign that people are losing hope, I believe we’ve collectively come to realize that we’ve offloaded responsibility onto external authority figures and inanimate systems for too long. Recognition that the longer we justify inhumane acts based on our political beliefs or even our personal experiences, the more we degrade the ideals behind democracy. Worse still, the more we degrade our own human dignity.

I know many people are afraid of what we’re witnessing. There’s too much that resembles the kind of authoritative overstepping and civil unrest that’s led to mass violence and wars in the past. While that fear creeps into my own mind at times, my heart puts me at ease. My heart believes that the vast majority of us yearn for peace, believes our inherent nature is loving and communal, and believes that, despite the maxim, history does not have to repeat itself.

It may be hard to believe that war or at least mass violence isn’t in our future when the headlines are plastered with aggressive declarations. I read an article summarizing the statements made by different agencies after the shooting of one demonstrator in Minneapolis. It included the backlash those statements had on advocacy groups once considered their allies. My first reaction was to feel fearful of where this chaos might lead.

When I took a breath and sat with that chaos though, I saw another picture. It’s as if the power-hungry who maintain their authority through threats and fear-mongering have become disoriented from trying to keep up with their own games. Turning on each other is a sign that the old ways are crumbling.

I once heard that rat snakes under stress often accidentally attack and eat their own tails, leading to their death. To me, it seems as those in the old guard are turning on each other and bringing on their own demise.

That can still leave us feeling uncertain and frightened, but I believe the masses are ready for a shift which requires some uncertainty. There’s a reason why words like polarization and patriarchy have become mainstream. Collectively we’re grappling with how putting faith in systems has led us into dark times. The mass demonstrations may be focused on federal immigration tactics, but on a broader scale they’re a sign that the average person believes in and is willing to stand for human dignity. If we have the fortitude to center ourselves, to stay grounded in our shared humanity, and to continue holding up a mirror to the actions that diminish our human dignity, I have no doubt there is something brighter waiting for us on the other side.

I realize that having hope in our heart is one thing, but navigating through negativity and fear is something completely different. For most of us, it takes cultivation and intentionality to stay centered and grounded in extreme situations.

Staying centered and grounded are often used interchangeably. I see them as two sides of the same coin. Being centered comes from cultivating inner peace and strength. It’s about knowing what’s in our hearts and not allowing fear to deteriorate or hide what’s there. On the other side of the coin is being grounded or our ability to be present in the moment without letting our energy get swept up by the circumstances around us. It’s about managing our own emotions in a way that allows us to choose a response that’s aligned with the light inside us rather than reacting from the darkest parts of ourselves.

Being centered and grounded isn’t always easy, especially when we’re surrounded by pain or fear. Still, they’re the greatest tools we can cultivate because it allows us to choose actions and words that are more likely to lead to a positive outcome.

As a school principal, I worked with young adolescents. Between the drastic changes in their hormones and the instability in many of their lives, I regularly faced chaotic, often aggressive swirls of emotion. Yelling louder and throwing out threats did not lead to lasting, positive change, although I admit that when violence broke out I resorted to those behaviors. What did lead to positive outcomes was my ability to stay centered in my belief in every person’s potential and to stay grounded so that I could be a stabilizing force in chaotic moments.

In this current political climate, we could all benefit from cultivating our capacity to stay centered and grounded, if not to provide stability for others, than to create stability for ourselves. If you’re not sure where to start, here are two suggestions:

• Get familiar with the most loving and humane parts of yourself, and remind yourself of those qualities regularly. At my core, I saw potential in every student and whole-heartedly wanted them to have a chance of reaching that potential. Staying anchored in that belief helped me stay open-hearted, even during the times when I was faced with hateful words and violent behaviors. In a world that idolizes strength and power, we have to be more intentional about recognizing the parts of our nature that connect us back to our humanity. Strengthening your connection to your loving, generous, and compassionate spirit helps create inner peace and to stay centered in that peace when times are tough.

• Get familiar with the sensations that let you know when your circumstances feel unstable and learn how to reset your nervous system. Nervous system regulation is another topic that’s become mainstream because there’s a collective awareness of our need to reconnect with our body’s internal warning systems. The first noticeable sensation for me is my temperature rising. Whether I was dealing with a challenging situation or I was just overwhelmed by the immense responsibility of running a school, feeling my temperature rise let me know I needed to slow down for a moment...breathe a little deeper...and choose how I responded more carefully. When you know your own warning signs and find supportive ways to ground yourself, you can respond in ways that are aligned with who you are at heart.

Just like I saw potential in each student, I see potential for humanity as a whole. If you look deep enough past frightening headlines and loud agitators, you can find quiet yet powerful glimpses of the masses who want to create a better world for all. It may be messy and it will take time. That means now is the perfect opportunity for us to reconnect with ourselves and our humanity. If we can do that individually and then come together from a more centered and grounded place, anything is possible.