Hey friends!
Today I’m resharing one of my most-loved newsletters…
When it went out, the response was honestly incredible - so many saved it, tried it, and sent me the sweetest messages about it. And I keep getting asked about it, so for anyone who missed it the first time (or wants a little reminder to do it), here it is again.
“I read your post on the five minute aid to sleep about 5 weeks ago. Your method has worked like a charm for me! I am falling asleep more quickly, more deeply and more consistently - often for 7-8 hours without waking. Thank you so much!!”
- Jeannie Stubbs
I mean.. THIS. Messages like Jeannie’s make my whole week, and why I had to send this one back out - because it works, and I want more of you to feel that difference too.
If you’ve been struggling to fall asleep, wake up at 3am consistently, or just feel like your body never fully turns off.. this is for you. Give it a shot for a week (remember, consistency is key) and tell me how you sleep.
Here’s the original -
Before we get into my 5-minute nervous system reset that works better than any supplement I’ve ever tried…
I need to talk to you about your vagus nerve - because I don’t think enough people understand that you have a literal off switch for stress built into your body, and most of us never use it!
Here’s what your nervous system is doing all day: scanning for threats. Emails, traffic, the to-do list, that text you forgot to reply to…
Your body can’t tell the difference between a tiger chasing you and a full inbox - to your nervous system, it’s all the same threat. So it stays in fight-or-flight (your sympathetic nervous system) basically all day long.
And then you wonder why you can’t fall asleep, why your digestion is a mess, why you wake up at 3am wired.
I call this part of you your nervous critter brain. It’s primal, and it’s just trying to keep you alive (thanks, critter brain).
But… it does not know the difference between “predator” and “I have 40 things to do tomorrow,” so it never fully stands down.
The good news - you can manually flip the switch…
There’s a nerve that runs from your brainstem all the way down through your face, throat, heart, and gut. It’s called the vagus nerve (vagus means wandering in Latin, which I find so beautiful - it really does wander all through you). And it’s the main line of your parasympathetic nervous system - your rest-and-digest mode. The healing mode (the mode where your body repairs itself).
Stimulate that nerve, and you tell your whole body: we are safe now. Stand down.
So here’s exactly what I do to stimulate that nerve, every single night:
1. Dim everything. Overhead lights off, warm lamps only. Replacing bedroom lights with red lightbulbs on a couple lamps is even better. Bright overhead light tells your critter brain it’s still daytime and keeps cortisol up. Lamps tell it the sun is setting. Simple, but it sets the stage. I love using a red light bulb in my lamps:
2. The 4-7-8 breath. Inhale 4 seconds, hold 7, exhale 8. Four rounds. The magic is in that long exhale - slow exhalation is one of the most direct ways to activate the vagus nerve and drop your heart rate. (Your inhale speeds your heart up, your exhale slows it down. So a long, slow exhale is basically a brake pedal).
3. Warm wet washcloth over your face for 30 seconds, then a spray of clove water. I cannot stress enough how amazing this feels after a long day. When something wet goes on the face, it triggers something called the diving reflex - the same reflex that lets seals and dolphins slow their heart rate underwater.
We share this reflex with marine mammals! Your body has a literal seal mode and you can switch it on with a washcloth. (A cool cloth works even better than warm if you can handle it, but warm is cozier before bed.)
Right after, I spritz my face with clove water - I just put 8 whole cloves in a small spray bottle with filtered water and let it infuse (keep it in the fridge).
A few reasons I love this little add-on: cloves are loaded with eugenol, which is a natural anti-inflammatory and antibacterial, so it may help your skin while you wind down (calming redness, fighting the bacteria behind breakouts).
But the real magic before bed is the scent - clove is warm + grounding, and your olfactory nerve runs straight to the limbic system (the emotional, primal part of your brain - your critter brain’s home base). So a calming smell is one of the fastest ways to signal safety to your nervous system. The cloves I use are in my Healing Drinks collection.
The mist also adds that second little hit of wet-on-the-face to keep the vagus nerve engaged. Skin care and nervous system care in one spray. (Patch test first if your skin is sensitive - cloves are potent! And if cloves aren’t your thing, a little rose water or even plain cool water does the wet-on-the-face part just fine.)
4. Hum or chant “voo” for 30 seconds. I know. You might feel silly at first. Do it anyway. Humming vibrates your vocal cords and larynx, which sit right on top of the vagus nerve - so you’re giving it a direct little massage from the inside.
I love the research behind this - a study out of the Karolinska Institute found that humming increases the nitric oxide in your sinuses about 15-fold compared to quiet breathing (nitric oxide helps open up your blood vessels and improves airflow through your sinuses).
All from making a bee noise! Bhramari (bee breath) has been doing this in yoga for thousands of years.
5. Lie on your right side for 5 minutes. This is a cozy spot to land. Side-sleeping in general supports that rest-and-digest shift, and a lot of people find the right side especially soothing as they drift off. (Note: if you deal with acid reflux, the left side is actually the better-researched call for keeping things settled. So go with whatever feels best for your body!) Just five minutes here before you drift off does so much.
Note: These don’t have to be done in any particular order, by the way - do them in whatever sequence feels best to you.
This all takes five minutes.
No supplements and no expensive gadgets.
You might already own everything you need to do this - you just have to use it.
Do it seven nights in a row starting tonight. Your nervous system learns through repetition - you’re essentially training your body to find calm faster, which builds something called vagal tone over time (think of it like getting your nervous system to the gym).
By night three or four you’ll start to notice it. Deeper sleep. Calmer digestion. A mood that doesn’t tip over as easily.
Tap the heart if this was helpful - it helps these simple routines reach more people who need them :)
This is the stuff that actually moves the needle, and it costs nothing.
Try it and tell me how you sleep.
If you want to lean into the wind-down even more, the few things I actually reach for after dark (the magnesium, the soft tea, the little rituals that get me there) are all in my → Nighttime Wind-Down Routine collection.
Until next time,
Melissa
The Balance Routine
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