Permission To Rest Series: Pajamas & A Cool Basement

So here we are, dog tired, inspired, and finding the pockets of rest where we can.

For me today, that’s being in my pajamas in a cold basement.

I grew up spending most of my summers with absolutely zero time to myself. As a full-time, multi-day river guide, I was consistently with my coworkers from May until whenever I decided to throw in the towel in the fall. Usually September, sometimes October. There were huge upsides to that—like a built-in social circle. But the pitfalls felt pretty obvious, too—it wasn’t unusual to have only several hours alone each month.

In somatic healing, it’s a huge trend to hear the word ‘co-regulation.’ For those of you who hear this word all of the time but don’t know exactly what it means, there are a lot of nuances but for practicality’s sake, what is important to know is that our nervous systems are sensory and pattern-detecting machines. We can get quite philosopical here and talk about how at one point we weren’t so seperate from the larger world and more-than-human relatives around us and that our nervous systems were designed to detect everything in our environment in an acute and specific way. But in modern culture, much of what we attune to most “loudly” is often the presence of another human being.

In short, our bodies listen to, react, and share information with other bodies in the room.

We impact each other. We are designed to be relational.

When we collectively as a group have a ratio that tips towards nervous systems that are healthy, regulated, and collaborative, this helps keep everyone in a good place.

When we collectively as a group have a ratio that tips us towards dysregulation, conflict, or scarcity—it tips us in a different direction.

Usually, we’re all a mix of both.

This isn’t true of every culture around the world, but in the States, we often end up spending more time outside, and more time with other people in our warmer months. Which means we often also spend less time alone. This impacts the way we navigate and metabolise our stress.

In the past several weeks, I’ve pivoted from my normal routines to lots of manual labor and communications work. I’ve been guiding, harvesting wood, and building things with my hands. I’ve been sharing a bed, a floor, or a forest with my best friend of many years, along with a few new friends helping with the River Newe programming along the way.

It’s been extremely fun, challenging, satiating, and meaningful.
It’s an opportunity to hold the paradox of being exhausted, but also feeling used up in a good way. It’s very different than spending hours on the computer in the middle of winter, grinding out my normal 9-5 routine.

Last night was my first night sleeping alone, indoors, in over two weeks.

It took a while to drift off but I slept like a giant, baby rock.

It was tempting to wake up this morning and jump into the next ten tasks I knew needed to get done, but I also knew that I only had one, full day by myself with nothing urgent on my to-do list. A great reminder to notice when it’s time to take a bigger, slower, more solitary breath when the moment presents itself.

While co-regulation is how our bodies were designed. And most generally, our social interactions are a major component of what keeps our stress in check and healthy…it’s also important for us to tune into how we feel when no one is around.

Not all seasons of life give us unlimited time alone. This is neither good nor bad. Co-regulating with other bodies is good. Spending time alone to recalibrate and check in with other forms of self-care, needs, and internal experiences is good too.

We need both.

Summer is a harder time to write ourselves permission slips for that rest.

So this week, your permission slip to rest is right here:

In the next ten days, where can you spend a little bit of time alone?

What would be the most nourishing use of that time?

What external signals can you give yourself to communicate clearly to your body that this means rest?

How can you do this with an extraordinary amount of kindness?

What does your stillness and solitude want you to know?

I’ve got approximately a handful of more hours to relish in my own rest. I’ll probably take a shower, a nap, and read a book that my dad gifted me for leisure reading.

Admittedly, I’ll probably also hide an additional 45 minutes beyond when I hear people show up and hang onto it for just a little bit longer before I head up to hang out with all the teenagers, community members, and staffers that I love.

If you want to share your answers to these questions, I’d be happy to catch them when I’m at my computer next.

In the meantime, sending you and your loved ones early morning birdsongs, lodgepole pine sap, and fresh, clean waterways.

Thank you for being here.
May your quest for rest benefit those around you.

Gratefully,
Dagny Rose

• Come Celebrate 10 Years of River Newe On The Water— As an org near and dear to my heart, this July, we’re floating the Salmon River in celebration of 10 years of reconnecting our Shoshone-Bannock youth with their ancestral homelands — and we'd welcome anyone who wants to join us there.

  📅 July 3 — Treaty Day Celebration Float | Shoup Bridge → Town (Class I/II) Float starts at 12, meet us for a community gathering at 3 PM at Island Park

  📅 July 4 — Community Float + Meal | Town → Tower Creek (Class I/II)• Float starts at 10 AM, potluck-style dinner at Tower Creek at 6 PM

  📅 July 5–8 — Multi-Day Float | Tower Creek → Corn Creek (Class I–IV)
  Whether you’re on the water with us, cheering from the banks, or celebrating from afar — we deeply appreciate your support.

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