The Real Sober Mom Diaries: Allison's Story

The Sober Mom Diaries is real women telling the truth about how they found their way out. No rock-bottom required. No single kind of story. Just moms like you answering the honest questions: when it started, how it progressed, the day they decided enough, and what life looks like on the other side.

When I quit drinking, the single most powerful thing was hearing another mom say me too. Another woman with kids and a marriage and family plans and “it’s a holiday” excuses who looked at her life and decided she wanted something different. And then, she did it. If she could quit drinking, maybe I could, too.

Because these women are trusting us with the most personal chapters of their lives, The Sober Mom Diaries will live in the paid section, alongside Just Between Us. The Sober Summer Series and the weekly essays stay free, always.

This week’s sober mom is Allison, a mom of five from Massachusetts.

I’ll let her take it from here…

I am a 56-year-old married mother of 5 children (4 daughters in their 20s and a 17 year old son). Fun fact: I have two sets of twins (the girls) and a boy. I have a lot of passions: the beach, performing arts, fashion, reading and attending cultural and sporting events, to name a few. My journey with alcohol started when I got drunk at a family wedding when I was 13 years old (I wish I was kidding.)

I would describe myself as a very enthusiastic drinker; mainly beer; sometimes shots of tequila and vodka at parties (the teenage/college years, and then eventually Chardonnay and cocktails (up until 2+ years ago. I relied on it to foster the image that I was just a fun loving and fun to be with girl. I also mistakenly believed it made me seem more sophisticated. 🙄 I also came to rely on it to take the edge off of a tough day or to get a weekend started. I used it to presumably unwind.

I was one of those 20 somethings who believed that the key to a good time was drinking. I saw it as fun and festive and kind of an automatic. I drank socially throughout my early 20s and soon enough I found myself drinking every weekend, whether we had a social event or just hanging out. In my 30s I segued into drinking during the week as well. It was also at this time that if there was a bottle of wine unopened in the house it would not stay that way. It had to be opened. If I had something planned in the morning, I could stop at 2 glasses. If there were no formal plans for the next morning, all bets were off. I also ordered wine every time we went out to dinner, no matter, unless the restaurant did not serve alcohol. I also got into the mindset that a glass of wine or 3 was a "reward" for managing a stressful day or event.

In my 20s, 30s, and 40s moderation was not even a concept that occurred to me. By the time I thought about limiting my drinking, I just instinctively knew I would fail. I suppose the rules I had around drinking were: I would day drink only if I was somewhere where my children weren't and I would not have to be taking care of them or if it was the type of situation where all participants were only having one.