Reframing: The Roles We Play

I talk a lot about the roles we play, and also about how we no longer need to play those roles if they don’t fit any more.

But what if they do fit?

What if being “the one who holds it all together” is who you’re supposed to be?

What if being “the caretaker” is who you’re supposed to be?

I’ve had people ask me, after reading a blog post or listening to a podcast episode, if it’s possible they’re not playing a role, that they truly enjoy serving others.

And my answer is yes, but… be honest with yourself. Look at your motivation and energy level when you do these things.

Some people take on these roles and they end up being consumed by them - like the mom who planned all the events, kept track of all the appointments, kept dinner on the table and snacks in the fridge, made sure everyone’s needs (except her own) were taken care of, and sacrificed her own well being in doing this.

She did it out of love and obligation to her family, which is what we do as moms. There’s nothing wrong with that. Where it goes sideways is when her own needs are consistently sacrificed for the sake of everyone else’s comfort and happiness. She’s exhausted, burnt out, and feels empty.

Then there are others who are the go-to organizers who do it because it’s their gift. They do it, and they do it well, and they don’t sacrifice themselves in the process because it truly is part of who they are, not just a role they play. They feel energized when they’re doing these things, and, they also make sure their own needs are met. They know where their boundaries lie.

It’s important, when looking at these roles that may be a shadow for some, to understand that they may not be wrong for everyone. One person’s shadow may be another person’s gift.

So how do you know the difference?

If it drains you, it’s likely a shadow role you play from conditioning. If it energizes you, it’s likely a gift you have to offer the world.

Unsure if the giving you do is out of obligation or truly your gift? Let’s take a look at your design and see!

Grab your free Human Design Chart

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