Firstly, if your kids fight a lot, I want to say you’re not alone. I have 3 and they get along beautifully AND they nearly start World War III about 10 times a week. My husband nicknamed 2 of them, “The Bickersons” after a season of daily quarrelling. Sometimes when my kids are not getting along, it’s a quick “fix,” and sometimes it’s 3 hours of co-regulating and emotional learning. Just depends.
Those raised with siblings on average become better able to resolve conflicts in adulthood, though parents of CURRENT child-aged siblings beg to differ. The thing is, the very thing that has us pulling our hair out is the thing that helps them build their skills - they are iron to each other’s iron, sharpening through constant contact and effort.
I read a study summary once that described a researcher using a clicker to count how many times on average siblings squabbled and the answer was 8x an hour! So your kids are probably well within the norm.
Have we sufficiently normalized? Ok, on to action steps.
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