Musing on Empathy …..

There’s a huge difference between connection and enmeshment

Connection is joy and loved based, enmeshment is fear

Enmeshment brings pain …..that’s all it can do really ….

Feeling others pain is a dreadful experience.

Some call it empathy and it’s more than that ….its a losing of one’s Self ….Self abandonment

Where do I begin and end in relation to another person?

And where do they begin and end in relation to me ?

It’s a rescuing position to take on life and a burdensome, overloading of myself dressed up as caring and feeling like I’m helping some one by ‘being there’ for them in all their pain

The downside is that it assists in them (and me) being stuck and it’s a classic victim and rescuer kind of dynamic, although this time both of us are victims.

The swing from resentment to relief is huge …and draining …and there’s a sense of helplessness too…

It robs me of my life force, my joy …my peace and I begin to avoid and despise those I feel their pain with.

I’m consumed by their pain and helpless to alleviate it for them.

And this is where I get to realise that I’m drowning alongside them by being so tuned into their emotions (and to be honest I think I’ve exaggerated their levels of pain at times….projected my own onto them perhaps?)

The shadow side of Empathy

‘Stealing’ another’s pain to make it your own, instead of not joining in and feeling their pain to the degree it disables me too …

Being an empath and being at the effect of the emotions in others and also the world events, stops me from being useful

I become another layer of the problem ……

And I’m curious too?

What’s underneath this heightened sensitivity and emotional conductivity, for me?

💛🌟