Letting the Good In

Someone tells you they love your sweater.

And before the words have finished landing, you hear it come out of your mouth: Oh, this old thing?

It happens so fast there’s no decision in it.

We deflect the compliment. We give it right back. We make a small joke so nobody has to sit in the warmth too long.

Why do we do that?

There’s a short film on YouTube that’s been around for a long time called “Validation.” It features a parking garage attendant whose whole job becomes telling people how wonderful they are as he stamps their ticket. He tells them the truth about themselves. What gets me is never the giving of the compliment. It’s the line out the door. Grown adults, waiting in a long line to hear a stranger say: you are really something.

That line is all of us.

Because most of us are generous people. We notice the new haircut. We say the kind thing, and we mean it. We’re the ones filling everyone else up all day long — and then standing at the kitchen counter at nine at night, wondering why there’s nothing left.

And there’s the part nobody sees:

the four-letter word we would never in a hundred years aim at a friend, aimed inward before breakfast without a second thought.

So the tank empties from both ends. We won’t let the good in, and we let the harsh out.

What would it take to let one kind word all the way in this week?

Not managed, not deflected, not immediately returned.

Just received.

And where did we learn, exactly, that being filled was the same as taking too much?

This week, we practice being filled.

And if we let one kind word all the way in… what might change next?

Perhaps Pablo Casals had it right all along.

“You are a marvel.”

Ahhh 🌿

Continue the Journey

There’s more below—for those ready to practice receiving what they’ve spent years giving away.

The reflection above comes from A Year to Clear, the book behind this year-long Journey to a Lighter You.

New here? Nothing has been missed. You can begin right here and right now.

Below, we explore why praise can feel surprisingly uncomfortable...

...and why that’s exactly where the clearing begins.

Bring a pen.

Join us.