Fasting

Good morning! I hope this finds you well. Thank you for reading this edition of my newsletter. If you’re not currently subscribed, click the button below to receive my weekly reflections.

Happy Tuesday! It’s been a busy week, so I’ll just dive straight into my reflection on the next part of Matthew’s gospel.

Matthew 6:16-18

This passage appears to be another version of Matthew 6:1-4 and 6:5-8. Jesus is talking about doing things in private instead of pursuing praise through public displays of spirituality. We ought to seek God first in the quiet places, seeking his face instead of the world’s approval. Although there is much more one could say on that, I won’t repeat myself. You can read my reflections on those passages here and here. Instead, I’ll use this opportunity to reflect on fasting - the spiritual practice Jesus is referencing in these verses. Seeing as we’re still in the early days of Lent, this felt fitting.

For Christians, fasting is the practice of sacrificing something for the sake of spiritual improvement. Historically, this was food. Now, while some people still fast from food, we have expanded our definition to include things that range from digital detoxes to restricting one’s sugar intake. And sometimes, instead of giving up something, Christians have taken to adopting a new spiritual practice for a season to aid their walk with Jesus.

I used the phrase ‘spiritual improvement,’ mostly because I couldn’t quite find the right words to describe the goal of fasting. It’s not that spirituality is something with a measurable bar of success. We don’t ‘improve’ in that sense, striving to get closer to an objective goal. But, at the same time, we are trying to improve, to better ourselves and walk closer to Christ. So we fast to give ourselves the space to do that. We give up social media so that our fingers tap on the Bible app instead of Instagram. We sacrifice sweet food so that we are reminded to pray each time we crave cake. We give up our belongings so that we can donate them to those in need. These are all good things.

And yet, I have sometimes struggled with fasting, finding it more performative than productive. I’ve struggled watching some people shout about what they’re giving up for Lent, or some other season, and not see any kind of change to their behaviour. Maybe I need to be less judgey; only God knows what’s going on internally.

But then, I also know that I’ve given up things without seeing any spiritual change, mostly because I wasn’t incentivised by growth but by something else. For example, when I was struggling with disordered eating, I would use fasting as a justification for skipping meals. My motives undermined the practice. So I really have to check myself when I decide to fast. Even though the disordered eating is a thing of the past, I rarely choose to fast fully from food in case it triggers old thought patterns. I don’t want to fall into bad habits.

And so, I made the decision this Lent to not make a massive commitment to fasting. After all, I’m still freshly postpartum and trying to navigate life with a newborn and a toddler. So I’m trying to give myself grace this Lent. (That’s fasting in some ways too. I’ve decided to give up being so hard on myself!)

God knows all of that though. I don’t think he’s looking at me this Lent and saying that I ought to be fasting more because it’s the ‘right’ thing to do. I don’t think it works like that. I believe God knows my heart and my circumstances and provides what I need in this season.

That being said, I have seen fruit from others’ fasting, so I hope that, one day, I can return to the practice in a healthy way.

I say all oftoo.s though because I think sometimes we can force ourselves to fast because it’s the ‘right’ thing to do. And while I also maintain that forcing yourself to do positive things can create a good habit that soon becomes second nature. But, if it’s going to do you harm, maybe it’s better to pick a different way to honour God and walk closer to Christ in this season.

That’s okay too.

I hope this was helpful, or at least provoked some interesting thoughts. Please feel free to send it along to someone and encourage them today. If you want to connect with me in other ways, you can follow me on Instagram.

With much love and gratitude,
Stephanie