Why Most Men Never Reinvent Themselves

I would spend hours in a virtual world not questioning where my life was heading.

I eventually thought it would fade away, but I was glued.

My escape became my prison.

Every day was a repeat of the previous day.

I thought I had an idea about what I was talking about or what I believed in.

I thought I knew not only myself, but God (which I rejected for so long) and life itself - I was so drawn in to what I already knew that I didn’t expand my mind elsewhere - doing this became a big turning point for me.

All this changed when I was exposed to what I used to believe in.

Which got me thinking… Who do men never question who they truly are? Why is it that men envy those who decided to reinvent themselves?

You’re left wishing that you had done things differently and that you broke out of your old habits.

And the problem is that these habits reinforce an impenetrable system built on comfort and laziness.

Comfort is like a fire extinguisher.

I know this, I would play my PlayStation for hours on end, doom scrolling with no end in sight, I was avoiding life and I never once looked at myself from a third person perspective to see what I was becoming.

Yes, I was becoming the very thing that I feared.

I would say to myself, “Alright, one more video.”, “I’ll stop at 7 o’clock.”

But I would still carry on.

It was easy to do those things.

It didn’t require much movement.

For years I was lost, I was spiritually dead.

I let comfort kill my action.

I was like a car without an engine.

And this is what men struggle with today.

I saw what I was becoming.

But as well as this, I had some hard truths come home from certain people.

I didn’t want to believe it at first, but after I began to question who I was, my reality became clear and it was the reality that I wanted to avoid.

How did I get sucked into a life that I wanted to avoid?

I would dread the evenings, pretending everything was fine and that my life would eventually change.

I didn’t have many stories to tell.

I lacked devotion towards a cause.

I was like every other man who drifts through life without a cause to fight and to die for.

My 9-5’s used to stop me from reinventing myself because I was willingly accepting my situation.

I knew I needed to change my reality but I lacked the f*cking balls to do so.

A look towards my future was like looking into the reflection that you wanted to avoid.

But the reflection reveals the truth both internally & externally.

Excuses can make you weak.

Delaying the start for the perfect moment.

It’s as if you’re removing the engine from your car.

Alcohol or cheap distractions only numb the pain.

But the pain will always remain unless action takes the bull by its horns.

However, there is always something that can help to save a man.

Through the endless hours of doom scrolling and indulging in cheap dopamine, I needed an escape.

I needed to bring my thoughts to life.

The matter of reinvention was something that I had to do, but I was unsure how to do it.

I had a vision of what I wanted to achieve.

I wanted to create my own thing, I wanted control over my own life.

My passion for writing could not be ignored.

The idea of living the life I wanted to live, to approach the girl even though I was nervous, to be the man that I wanted to be.

This all changed during that one train journey to work and when someone who I knew called me “boring”.

I remember him saying it to me over the phone and it was always on my mind.

Eventually I met him in person and I brought it up in conversation.

I explained about how it came across, but his response wasn’t what I expected.

He told me that I have a lot going for me and I could have a lot more if I pulled my finger out.

He didn’t want to see me waste my life not doing anything.

I finally got the kick up the back side that I needed.

That moment still sticks with me, it was even brought up again weeks down the line and the conversation went the same way again.

I knew that I needed to reinvent myself.

My focus on what needed to change took place, I didn’t just write it down, I embodied it and continue to do so.

I didn’t just make myself believe, I made all those close to me and people I meet along the way believe in what I am going to achieve.

I bought the notebooks, picked up the pen and started to write with no end in sight that the light at the end of the tunnel began to shine ever brighter.

When I finally put pen to paper and fingers to keyboard, I felt a sense of freedom that I hadn’t felt before.

The thoughts on the pages came to life.

I was attracting the life I wanted to live.

Instead of existing, I began to be.

Just writing this post out makes me feel alive, I am not just having a conversation with myself…but with you, the reader.

Modern distractions meant that I never took myself seriously.

I avoided my thoughts.

Action eliminates fear and this is what my writing done for me.

I was hesitant to change my writing style & topics.

I didn’t feel qualified enough and I thought they wouldn’t be a success.

By the 5th post, my evidence of reinvention has began to show.

From originally thinking twice about publishing to going all in and writing whatever the f*ck I want, I finally emerged to the surface after drowning in my thoughts for so long.

After my 5th post of my new style, I wasn’t different there and then.

But the evidence was building itself up.

I was aligning myself with my desires.

I stopped waiting to feel ready and decided to take life by the horns and guide it the way I wanted it to go.

I knew that if I didn’t reinvent myself then I too would also fall down this hole.

But I always knew that I was meant for more, I was just too distracted to make the change.

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