To borrow a quote from the internet (OK, a meme), no one in the history of calm down has ever calmed down by being told to calm down. I am no exception, after receiving a follow-up email from our agency in America telling us our potential surrogate, Laura, was not going to work out after all.
The problem is that Laura, with her six children and her loving husband and her willingness, nay desire, to help a less fortunate couple, is not compatible with our fertility clinic’s requirements.
“I’m so sorry,” says the email. “For some reason I totally thought your fertility clinic was in Illinois. [It’s in Miami.] My mistake!! Our Dr Fernando won’t accept a surrogate with more than four pregnancies (she’s had seven). But a doctor in Illinois probably would.”
I am instantly full of rage. “What do you mean ‘mistake’?” I seethe.
“Calm down,” says Mr B. “We don’t know if this is a closed book. Maybe our doctor will make an exception.”
“I can’t calm down,” I say (see above). “We knew this would happen.”
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