I wonder...

I wonder sometimes if the people who have drastically changed my life even realise they had such an impact.

For example, I wonder if Bernadette knows that her tip for deciding who gets the front seat, one child having the odd days and one having the even days, has streamlined our mornings and removed so much friction and tension.

I wonder if Tanya knows that her story of taking a one-on-one trip with each child before they started full-time school influenced two whole years of my children’s lives, and mine, in such a positive way.

I wonder if Caroline realises that telling me she’d rather have my kids arrive at school stress-free and 15 minutes late than stressed and on time changed years of our morning routine.

I wonder if Tina knows that after she shared a conversation her grandma had had with her I threw out most of my undies and only kept the ones that I loved and that felt great.

I wonder if Ainsley knows that I had never seen anything more magnificent than the day we were on a beach with our kids, I looked away for a moment and when I turned back she’d whipped off her clothes and was running, giggling, straight into the ocean. I’d never seen anything that looked so much like pure joy. I vowed then and there to be more like her.

I wonder if Vonda knows that the day I visited her house and two of her adult daughters unexpectedly dropped in on a whim made me so envious of a future like that I could hardly breathe.

I wonder if Meika knows that I still put love letters in my kids’ lunch boxes because she showed me that she did it, and it remains one of their all-time favourite things.

I wonder if another Caroline knows that when she told me her tip of taking scooters packed in luggage to help kids keep up with long days of walking I promptly did it for years after and my kids scootered their way around the world until their little legs caught up wtih the long days.

I wonder if Karen knows that some of the frank (and mature) conversations she had with her daughters, and later relayed to me, have informed the way I parent my two teenagers. Even though when she first told me those stories, my kids were tiny and I couldn’t imagine that future, let alone a thought of watching Sex and the City with them! (We haven’t quite got there yet, but we’re close!)

I wonder if Cathryn knows how much I appreciate just how gloriously girly my youngest is because of her influence on our lives. I thank her for helping me learn to ‘girl’ a bit more so I could bond with my baby.

I wonder if Michelle knows that every time I watch her go and live three months in Italy each year and pursue her creative passions, I get that little bit closer to building a life that is unapologetically my own - even if it doesn’t look like anyone else’s.

I wonder if Mon realises that she opened up a whole beautiful part of my life by sharing one tiny thing she did with her son that I never thought was possible for me. I’ve done it almost weekly with my daughters since my youngest was three.

I wonder if Dylan knows that the day he said to me, when I didn’t have a breakfast date, “You know you can just go to breakfast on your own, right?” he changed something in me. And I did. I went to breakfast alone. I read a book. I ate my eggs. It was the best.

I wonder if Rachael knows that she showed me, through taking in a child that is not her own by blood, just what the word generosity really means and set a standard I could never hope to live up to but somehow aspire to be like anyway.

I wonder if Angela knows that I probably wouldn’t even have figured out how to get pregnant without her. (Actually, this one I know she does. I loudly declare that she’s ‘the woman who got me pregnant’ every time I see her.)

I wonder if Sara knows that I quote her at least once a week. Her reminder that emotion is energy in motion, and needs to move, is something I repeat to other people and to myself whenever I forget to feel and try to think my way through everything.

I wonder if Trisha knows that hearing her family’s story, and witnessing the love her whole family showed while living through it, taught me that there is nothing truly insurmountable.

This list could go on forever. There are so many amazing people in my life who have taught me things that became part of my operational DNA (many of my best mates aren’t even mentioned here, because this list would be insanely long if I did!).

But these tiny comments, passing observations, stories they probably don’t even remember telling have all… together, they’ve been my mature-life masterclass.

And I’m grateful for every single one of them, and I just used this substack to tell some of them how much they’ve impacted my life. Who would be on your list?

Hey there… Enjoyed this week’s read?

Please hit like, comment or share with a friend - it gives me so much encouragement!

Also here are two other substacks of mine that have resonated really well that you may not have read:

1. Bringing back a little of my financial background here

2. The mountain that almost beat me