The Edit by Stine | Vol. 43

I’ve started this intro about ten times. Deleted it about ten times too. So let’s just wing it.

This one’s personal….the kind of personal we’re conditioned to be a little ashamed of, but what the heck. Let’s get into it….

For about a year or so, life revolved around helping to care for my father-in-law through his battle with dementia. I lost sleep, my anxiety reached new levels I didn’t know existed, and I felt the kind of exhausted where you forget you’re allowed to take care of yourself too. Somewhere in the craziness of it all, I stopped.

I’m still catching up from that season, if I’m honest. It was brutal.

During that time, you’re so busy caring for someone and figuring out solutions for everyone involved that you just basically put yourself dead last. I was probably in the worst health I’d ever been. Stress is no joke. I was putting off so many appointments. “What’s another week?” or “I’ll do it next month.” That was the whole plan, for months. That and “I’m sure it’s nothing, I just need sleep” and off I went avoiding caring for myself. Eldest daughter thing: I fix everything and everyone else, ask for nothing, and quietly assume if I just try harder I won’t need help. (Ask any eldest-daughter. They know.)

Eventually you run out of “next months” and you have to face reality. BOOM. That’s where I’m at now.

So I’ve been trying to prioritize myself. As hard as that is for me, I’m back to making the appointments. Recently, I scheduled an appointment and had to see a new doctor. I walked in nervous, half-convinced I’d get lectured. Instead, he actually listened. Didn’t make me feel like I’d failed a test. We made a plan and I walked out lighter than I’ve felt in a long time, mostly from the relief of not having to figure it out alone anymore.

Quick disclaimer: I'm not a medical professional. This is just my experience. But if you're looking for someone who GETS IT… that's me. PCOS (now PCOM) is total BS! We get handed a diagnosis and basically told to figure it out ourselves.

One of the things we talked about during my appointment is how I’m struggling with being on a GLP-1 for my insulin resistance. I’ve mentioned my PCOS before, and for years I’ve been on a GLP-1…..and I hated it. Yes, it helps with my A1c, but I’ve told several doctors how bad the nausea gets - sometimes I can’t eat, I throw up, I have no energy.

“Yeah, that’s some of the side effects.”

That’s the response I got when advocating for myself…more than once. Basically just deal with it. Which I did for the longest time.

This time however, I got new medications. Tips on relearning nutrition while on a GLP-1 and having PCOS. We also spent some time on my mental health (hello, anxiety…) and I already scheduled another appointment for this week.

I don’t have it figured out. Not even close. But I’m still trying to fight for myself and my health, and I think I found someone who will listen and guide me, which is more than I could say six months ago.

Yes we addressed my issues, but to me the real lesson is keep asking for help. Turns out avoiding the hard things doesn’t make them go away….it just moves the due date.

I’ve learned that making the appointment. Asking the questions. Saying “I need help” out loud. Those were always going to be the hardest parts. Everything after was easier than I expected.

I’m still learning. Still messing it up sometimes. But I’m showing up for myself these days, and for right now? That’s enough.

I’m going to start sharing some of the small changes I’m making — not just for my A1c, but also for all the different areas of my life. I have a lot of work to do and I’m okay with that. I want to be doing what I can to make sure I live a healthy life.

• Sleep is really important. No, you’re not just lazy and always tired. That’s another PCOS side effect!

• I try to drink all the water! Seriously. Let’s just say I’m drinking so much water that I should’ve just typed this while I was in the bathroom….Yes, the battle to drink all the water still continues. I trick myself into drinking more with electrolyte packets and cute cups!

• I've also got a new accessory I'm wearing, and it's not my usual arm accessory. I’ll be talking about my experience with a CGM (my Dexcom) after I have used it for a bit longer.

• Do you remember what it’s like to put your phone away and touch grass? I sure didn’t. Now I try to make that a priority. Maybe not grass per se, but just getting outside or sitting down to read a book.

• A cooler, rainy afternoon that allowed me to slow down and cuddle with Penelope for a bit!

• A good everything shower and mask session while watching The Five Star Weekend

• Another Christina Lauren release (The Romance Revival)

• A car wash + an audiobook + an iced latte, in that order.

• A solo Costco run. Bliss. No notes.

• Moana movie was SO GOOD! Brought back so many memories from when my nephew was little and was obsessed with it. (Soundtrack has been on repeat)

Thanks for making it this far! I’d love to hear if you’ve been through something similar! Also, can we talk about how difficult it is to get your health back in shape in your 40’s?!?! OMG. That’s another newsletter in itself, ha!