Put Down The Emotional Baggage

Dear mindful reader,

Today, I bring you a question: How much of your emotional baggage isn’t even yours?

I think most of us are nice people at our cores. But a helpful thing to become mindful of is how much emotional baggage we’re lumping around that isn’t even our own.

Case in point: I have a family member who, no matter how many people and how many times we try to help them get their life together, just can’t seem to do it.

It doesn’t seem to matter the amount of support we give them, they refuse to make the healthy changes in their life that will get them on the right track.

And it’s incredibly frustrating.

It’s been well over ten years of the same old cycle, and when this person falls apart again or “goes off the rails”, it affects everyone in the family in a negative way.

Their actions ripple through the entire family. And the reason it’s upsetting is that we care about them very much.

But these selfish acts have caused us all to load up on their emotional baggage.

When they are upset, they take it out on the rest of the family. They can’t seem to see how their actions affect the people around them.

We try to help, but it gets thrown back in our faces. Needless to say, many of us are fed up with it.

We’re fed up with worrying about them. We’re fed up with asking ourselves if we’re doing enough for them. We’re fed up with them not taking responsibility for themselves and causing us all emotional pain.

You might be carrying emotional baggage from;

• your parents

• your friends

• your siblings

• your colleagues

On some level, we’re all carrying around some emotional baggage that we can let go of if we choose to.

I like to think I’m a caring person, but I’ve reached my limit with certain people. The result of carrying around so many other people’s emotional baggage for so long is exhaustion, burnout and constant worry.

You live in a state of constant anxiety because you care, yet there’s little you can do to help.

That’s where I found myself for years, totally preoccupied with other people’s mindless stress.

And the truth is, it’s almost impossible to live a happier, mindful life when you’re too concerned with how others feel and not yourself.

So what’s the answer?

The problem with so much emotional baggage is that it’s not always obvious, yet it weighs you down more and more over time until you can barely see through the bags.

You're too preoccupied with the worry and stress of others’ situations that there’s little time for self-care and how you’re feeling.

You end up losing track of yourself, and you’re unable to look forward.

You feel as stuck as the person you worry about.

But the reality is, you cannot be everything to everyone. At some point, you have to let go and allow people to figure things out for themselves.

That doesn’t mean you shut them off completely.

You just start:

• Saying “No” when they ask you to come round so they can vent again.

• Saying “No” when you don’t feel like going out for a drink with the people who you don’t actually want to be around.

• Saying “No” when you know deep down you need to spend some time on your own.

• Not engaging in the group chat when it makes you feel stressed.

It’s not just “okay” to focus on yourself and put yourself first; it’s vital.

Your boundaries protect you from mindless stress.. You’re not shutting people out, you’re just putting your well-being first.

When you put down others’ emotional baggage, clarity starts to come back. You’re able to see what you need in your own life. You become more mindful of what you want and need to focus on.

And when this happens, it becomes much easier to help other people from a place of less stress and less attachment.

What are some boundaries you could put in place in your own life? What or who is reoccupying your mind so you can’t live in the present moment?

Did you enjoy this post? If so, please consider subscribing for more mindful reflections and exercises!

Download your own mindful flashcards for less than the price of a coffee here. Thank you!