On career and work: speaking up, showing up, making it up as I go

This essay was commissioned by Netflix as part of My Brilliant Career: My Way, a series of personal essays inspired by Netflix’s new series My Brilliant Career, out now.

Speak up

“Keep your head down, be quiet, work hard.” That’s what my parents told me when growing up and when I entered the workforce. This is something that is writ large in some parts of Chinese culture and other Asian diasporas – clearly, in my family. As with everything, the greatest strength can be one’s greatest weakness.

I did it for years: sometimes it works, and sometimes it doesn’t. I get there early, I stay there late. I will outwork anyone. What stays most with me is the times when I spoke up. Once, it was too late – when interning, I was passed over for a coveted and rare full-time junior role. When I mentioned to a senior editor that I would have been interested, it had already been filled – and she commented that she didn’t realise I was due to graduate. The regret was immediate, and years on, remnants of it still remain. Could’ve, should’ve, would’ve.

The next time, I did speak up after some strong encouragement. A senior leader who I had considered a mentor had publicly taken credit for significant work I did. I wondered if it was all in my head, but my work friends were astounded that it had happened; following their urging, I asked for a meeting and carefully broached the topic. (For that friend who I know reads my newsletter – thank you.) I was terrified. Even before I had articulated my thoughts, she folded. It was remedied, somewhat… We don’t talk about it now, but sometimes when I see her around, when our eyes meet, I wonder if she remembers.

You are in control

I remember in high school speaking to one of the brightest girls about her post-graduation plans. “I’m waiting to be shoulder-tapped,” she said confidently. What? I had no idea what she was talking about. I pressed on, confused. She was waiting to be proffered some undeniable opportunity by a major university or corporation to fund her studies. Reader – it was the beginning of my slow realisation that I certainly could not rely on a fairy godmother-esque person to swoop in and give me a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. I had to do it myself. Sybylla had to, too. We can’t wait for someone to do it for us.

I’m not sure if she ever got shoulder-tapped.

I’ve had some spectacular opportunities in my career. There are few that happened by chance or luck — most of the time I sought them out.

Ambition without a map

Sometimes when I walk through the CBD of Sydney, or any city really, I feel a slight twinge of envy. What would it have been like to tap through glass gates with a plastic pass, go through a graduate program and then work towards milestone promotions? And then I remembered that I on occasion have flirted (for very short periods) with the marbled foyers of corporate life and somehow end up on the outside of it. I’ve since realised my wonderment is the illusion of structure, a corporate ladder – a clear line where you’re a junior, then an associate, then manager, etc etc. (Please, don’t come for me if I’ve befuddled the exact terminology.)

In what I’ve done, there hasn’t been a clear through line. I’ve gone from academia to legacy media, to the digital world, the business of retail, and many other things in between. I’ve had to channel my ambition not through a ladder (though I know it can be debated that the corporate world itself lacks the structure it self-conveys). Sybylla had no such ladder, either: just a farm, a family who misunderstood her, and a love of writing.

It might seem sporadic, but it makes sense to me. The thread that has run through it is that it’s based on honing an eye – reading what’s happening in the zeitgeist, what makes others tick. As a teenager I dreamed of becoming a magazine editor-in-chief, writing my own column, running a business. I grew up in Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea, which had such a small-town feel that it didn’t have a local cinema, and I hadn’t been to a McDonalds until we holidayed in Sydney – these dreams seemed so far away for me. I kept my eyes open. While I haven’t done exactly what my teenaged self imagined, in a way, I probably have.

The Edit

How I work (no one told me about the admin)

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Jul 5

If there’s one thing I really hate, it’s boring small talk. “How are you going? How’s work?” It’s not that I’m ever going to deep in on it on small talk, because the most is appropriate is “Oh, you know, the usual!”

You can't self-actualise through work

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January 31, 2023

This newsletter edition is going to be a bit of a different format of what I have usually done. I originally wanted this to be a list of stories to read and podcasts to listen to you around a central theme, but all these content pieces worked really well as a conversation with each other. It is for paid subscribers only but I’ve included a preview below.