Thoughts from an Innocent Bystander

I was thinking about Leon Musk the other day, and yes - I called him Leon because, well, who would name their kid Elon? I think he wanted a name that people wouldn't forget so he started transposing some of the letters. Leno just didn't sound right so Elon it was.

So Leon is now the most wealthy man in the world, worth US$363.7 billion dollars as of March 2025

That is an obscene amount of money that no single person could go through in a full lifetime of spending. His life is what children would describe as Heaven. Nothing is denied him. At this point, only sending him to an El Salvador Death Camp would make him feel a little bit uncomfortable but discomfort is not something Leon would understand and his discomfort wouldn't last more than a few hours before he bought El Salvador and executed it's president.

This is why he got along so well with Donald Trump. Normal human existence is so distant from both of their experiences that you might as well be talking about life on exoplanet Gamma Epsilon and explaining how it's three-legged purple residents spend an afternoon working in the Gloop feilds or some such alien passtime. I'm reminded of Trump trying to explain something he'd just discovered called "Grocery". Turns out it's just food but instead of coming from your chef, you have to go out and buy it from a place called a "Grocery Store". Who knew? And apparently the people who frequent these grocery stores have to prepare the meals for themselves! Now that's just too weird for words.

The weirdness however, goes both ways. The fact that Americans have given these two aliens so much power over their lives baffles me. Why so many of you voted for the "Leopards Eating People's Faces" party baffles me even more. Americans used to be smart people. The only explanation that kept surfacing in my mind is what is known as Cultism. A 'cult' is described as "a social group characterized by intense devotion to a person, object, or idea, often with unusual and sometimes extreme beliefs or practices."

And that's when my eyes were opened! Republicans have become a cult led by Donald Trump as it's deity and Leon Musk as High Priest.

The absolute proof of this cult's existence can be seen if you ask any Republican, "Who won the 2020 election?". Just watch the mental back-flips their brains and faces go through. I once watched a hipnotist tell a victim that there was no number three. He then asked her to count her fingers. "One, two, four, five... six. No wait, start again, " and her discomfort became so severe that the hypnotist had to bring her out of it.

I see that same look of confusion and disbelief on Republican faces when you ask them if Trump lost in 2020. They will say with some difficulty that Joe Biden was president but they won't say that he beat Donald Trump.

So in the end, all I can say is that part of America needs an intervention by the sane half of your nation. It won't work if it comes from an outsider. It has to be you. Leon and all his cash can't help you. Donald the Fascist won't help you. It's only you and you shouldn't have to wait FOUR MORE YEARS to see it.

And if you decide to deport Leon Musk, don't send him to Canada. His only home is in South Africa.

-Stephen Briggs.