After loads of travel since April, including two full months away this summer, I came home and did something I almost never do: I stayed there.
My son was away at camp, my husband was traveling for work, and Lucia and I suddenly found ourselves with almost three weeks at home together. No big plans. No flights to catch. Nowhere we particularly needed to be.
The boys were away. The girls were playing.
And by playing, I mean morning pilates, long walks and deep talks, reorganizing old photographs, freshening up rooms, trying an alarming number of beauty products, watching movies in bed, borrowing each other’s clothes and taking naps as if our lives depended on it.
It became a kind of accidental three-week slumber party. After a summer of constantly going somewhere, it turned out that staying put was exactly the holiday I needed.
My 19th wedding anniversary was also this week (wow, where does time go). Edoardo is traveling for work but did send me some beautiful flowers that I deeply appreciated. It’s had me thinking a lot about love, marriage, relationships. More on that soon…but for now, let’s talk about what these last few weeks taught me.
Lucia is extremely disciplined about taking care of herself. She does her Pilates. She gets her 10,000 steps in daily. She has routines. She knows things.
Meanwhile, I can apparently be convinced that walking around my house looking for my glasses and feeding my dog Margo a snack counts toward my daily movement. I’m exaggerating… I am not actually that bad, but kinda.
Being around Lucia has made me realize there are some things her generation gets right. They think about movement, sleep, skincare, mental health, and taking care of themselves in ways I certainly wasn’t thinking about at 20.
So I decided to join her. Just not in the super cute workout sets.
Dr. Gross LED Mask, Cryopress ice roller, Skin Gym Gua Sha
Cure Electrolytes daily (which is a game changer) and Sleep and Glow Omnia Pillow.
And I have to admit, I already feel better.
While Lucia was getting her 10,000 steps, I was attempting to get rid of approximately 10,000 things in my house.
I finally went through a bunch of old photographs and organized them into cute boxes. I am determined to reorganize my home as if I were preparing for a move, even though I am not.
I tackled the product drawer and got rid of things I don’t use and positioned the things I want to make sure to use more.
I freshened up our rooms with Parachute sheets. Those are our favorite. Autumn Sonata towels and bath mats, this adorable velvet storage bench, and this cool rug for Leo’s room.
And I generally dealt with all those tiny things that never seem important enough to put on a calendar but somehow make you feel infinitely better once they’re done.
A few things that helped:
Maisonette storage boxes, Bigso Photo Storage Boxes, DoubleSoul Cozy Socks
Cleaning out your beauty products is very clarifying. If you’ve moved the same serum from drawer to drawer for three years without actually using it, perhaps the relationship has run its course.
These made the cut and are on my daily rotation:
Olga Lorencin Heal the Need Serum
Chris McMillan everything, because his products are just the best.
L’ange Blow Dryer and L’Volume round brush
Swiss Kriss Herbal Laxatives. Prescribed by my Dr., these are the best “help” I have ever had. Just had to pass it on.
And then, of course, there were the things Lucia made me try:
Ilia eye color sylus stick, Bare Minerals Cheek & Lip Stick, Olive and June Nail care treatment set and polish colors, Cote shampoo
Which brings me to another unexpected development...
One of the great joys of having a daughter is watching her develop her own sense of style. One of the less-discussed joys is discovering that half your closet has quietly migrated into hers.
Right now Lucia keeps stealing:
My new Madewell jeans, lightweight jacket, these moccasins, and this button-down. I did a Madewell haul, and I am loving it.
I haven’t seen my MiuMiu loafers my sweet friends got me for my birthday since they arrived.
This green jade necklace from Thatch is so pretty. I also love my new favorite scent by Uni perfume and my new Le Specs sunglasses.
But the arrangement has recently become reciprocal because I’m finding myself looking at things she’s wearing and thinking, Wait. Can I do that?
Things I’m currently planning to copy/borrow/steal from her:
These Melinda Maria faux diamond studs and ring.
This lacey Doen top, Agolde Jeans, Madewell dress, and these lounging pieces by Cou Cou Intimates: this top, skirt, and shorts. This Forme Science sports bra. She has also been living in this cozy Barefoot Dreams robe that is currently on sale. (Makes a great gift.)
Apparently the circle of life is buying your daughter clothes and then asking if you can borrow them.
One night Lucia decided we needed to watch The Notebook.
I hadn’t seen it in years. She may have seen it 15 times (not kidding), and I obviously remembered it being sad. I did not remember it being destroy-your-entire-evening, why-did-you-do-this-to-me sad.
I cried so much that at one point Lucia felt bad for the rewatch.
Naturally, we kept watching things.
STERLING POINT - Lucia is obsessed, loves the natural acting and the whole setting. It reminds me a little of Dawson’s Creek with its deeper YA themes and emotion.
LUCKY - I am obsessed with this show. A dear friend produced it (let’s go Mandi), and she told me it was up my alley. She was right. Anya is lovely, Annette Bening is terrific in this role, and Drew Starkey is a babe. Action-packed and well written. Oh, and Anganue Ellis is so badass as the FBI boss. I love her. So good.
THE ODYSSEY - Obviously. Seen it. The Cyclops and Samantha Morton as the witch were my favorite moments.
This may become a regular feature because apparently I now require a 20-year-old cultural consultant.
While I’ve been happily nesting in mine, Real Life Co. has been very much in back-to-school mode. And my texts are blowing up with mom friends who didn’t believe me when I told them how stressful this move can be and now are doing last-minute hauls, while simultaneously managing the emotions of your kid leaving home. It’s a lot. But you don't know until you know.
Nobody realizes they forgot a rug until approximately 48 hours before move-in. Here are a few last-minute things actually worth getting:
An Air Purifier (college buildings can be old). A vacuum because, well, they have to keep their spaces clean on their own now. This JBL Speaker is always a good idea, and so is this alarm clock. There are many more rugs and essentials you will love at reallifeco.com.
Of course, just as I’ve become completely accustomed to having a 20-year-old wellness coach, stylist, movie critic, and general life consultant down the hall, Lucia is leaving for Paris to study abroad.
And I’m going to miss her terribly.
Not only because she’s my daughter and I love having her close, but because I’ve apparently lost the ability to make a purchase without first asking, “Do you like this?”
There’s something about a 20-year-old looking at you and saying, “not so much,” that makes you immediately believe her.
No further questions. Purchase cancelled.
Maybe that’s one of the stranger and lovelier parts of watching a daughter grow up. You spend years helping her figure out who she is, and then one day you realize she’s helping you figure out who you are too.
Or at least which jeans you should stop wearing.
These three weeks came in that strange little August pause between the summer we just had and the lives we’re about to go back to. Hers is taking her to Paris. Mine will undoubtedly involve considerably fewer steps.
But for a few weeks, the boys were away, the girls played, and neither of us was in much of a hurry to be anywhere else.
Turns out, that was exactly the reset I needed.
xx -Sasha
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