Welcome to Sex and Style, where we pick up where sex-ed left off. Written by Certified Sexologist Sarah Ward, this newsletter delivers weekly tips on embodied erotic reclamation, nervous system attunement, and the healing power of pleasure — straight to your inbox.
You’re not even sure what you want, or what turns you on
Pleasure rises out of habit — using masturbation to fall asleep, or having sex that scratches the itch
You feel disconnected from your arousal, outside of external stimuli like erotica or porn
You feel yourself performing pleasure — going through the actions, without feeling it in the core of your being
It doesn’t matter your relationship status, your gender or sexual orientation. Pleasure is a human experience.
The point of this challenge is to explore new ways to experience turn-on and pleasure. You don’t have to reach orgasm inside of the challenge… although if you do, great.
Listen. Your hands are the best sex toy you’ll ever have. We give and receive tremendous amounts of pleasure from our hands.
So what happens when you figuratively tie your hands behind your back? How can you bring yourself to a pleasurable state hands-free?
Let’s begin with some gentle movement, letting your body move how it wants to.
If you’re sitting down, begin tilting the bowl of your pelvis forward and backward, as though you could tilt a bowl one direction and then the other
Then begin to rock your hips side to side
Start moving your hips in circles
See if you can make your movement 5% bigger than you were doing before.
Experiment with pressure and start exploring different surfaces.
You might start to grind against the seam of your jeans
You could put a pillow between your legs or grind up against the edge of the mattress
If you have a jacuzzi tub, you could turn on the jets and position yourself in front of them
Get creative and see what happens, see how your body responds to trying something different than usual.
Now I invite you to pause and notice what’s happening in your body. Are you starting to feel some turn-on and arousal inside your body.
If it feels available for you, share your experiences in the comments section. Being seen in your pleasure is a powerful way to expand what is safe for your nervous system.
Week One was available to the public, although the rest of the challenge is going to be available to paid subscribers only.
Consider upgrading so you can participate in the 6-Week Pleasure Reset Challenge.
Plus, you’ll get:
✨ My eBooks The Pleasure Manifesto (value $27) and The Beginner’s Guide to Sex Toys (value $27)
✨ Unzipped — steamy, true stories straight from the bedroom
✨ Deeper — my private podcast where the real conversations happen
✨ The first 7 days of 28 Days of Pleasure (a $32 value) — daily audio practices to cultivate more sensation and pleasure in your body
This space has been years in the making. Your support keeps it alive — and keeps me creating work that moves people and helps support our collective sexual liberation.
Sex and Style is a love letter to the body, written by Sarah Ward, Certified Sexologist, Somatic Sex Coach & Wardrobe Stylist. She helps people reclaim pleasure, presence, and style — fully clothed and beyond. Based in Albuquerque, NM, she works with clients worldwide.
Let’s get you dressed. And undressed.
If you’ve been looking for ways to experience more pleasure or feel more connection with your partner, reach out! I’d love to support you in your expansion.
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