Wearing new shoes makes me nervous. I’m anxious about ruining them—making them feel too old too quickly. At the same time, I hate the way new shoes, and especially boots, look. It’s a weird tangle of cognitive dissonance I haven’t quite been able to unravel. Wearing new shoes also makes me excited. Not because I’ve just bought myself something new but because I’m excited to make them mine. I think about how I will style them; how they will style me. I think about the shared life we will have together: the inevitable pain they will, at some point, cause me, and the marks I will inevitably make on them.
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