Salman Ansari's Blog
When I got the summons in the mail, I was annoyed, but only a little, because I assumed nothing would come of it. Since moving to America two decades ago, I’ve been summoned for jury duty four times. Each time, I would dutifully call the number at the specified time, only to be told that my duty was completed, having done nothing at all. That is what annoyed me most about the letter I held in my…
My mother’s birthday was in March, the first since she passed . The day was as shitty as you’d expect. I tried to do some sort of ritual, but it couldn’t mask the pain. I miss the sound of her voice when I would call on her birthday. I could always hear her smile through the phone. My own birthday was a week ago. My mom and I share the same birth date, offset by a month. I always liked that. This…
You might have heard of the Buddhist monks who embarked on a Walk for Peace from Texas to Washington, D.C. They walked 2,300 miles over 15 weeks. At their final stop on the journey, they invited the world to join them for a meditation at Georgia University, which was broadcast online. I don’t particularly enjoy Zoom meditations (or Zoom anything, really), but I was compelled to join simply because…
Every year, I publish a post sharing the best books I read. You can read my past posts from 2024 , 2023 , 2022 , 2021 , 2020 , 2019 , 2018 , and 2017 . Onto this year’s favorites! The Pearl and Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck Steinbeck is an absolute master. I think I read Of Mice and Men a long time ago when I was a kid, but I certainly didn’t remember its impact because it really hit me…
I went on a bird drawing binge in October. Lately, drawing feels a lot easier than writing. In the throes of grief, where I often cannot find the words, drawing is an outlet I’m grateful to have. I took a short online course on watercolor bird sketching led by Sofia Garzaran . I was tempted by Sofia’s invitation to approach sketches with the goal of letting go of perfection, keeping the sketch…
The squirrels are busy these days. I watch them scamper back and forth along the fence. Racing to the right, then tiptoeing back, their mouths stretched open to the limit, stuffed with a nut treasure, determined to bury it as soon as possible. I admire their dedication to choosing the perfect spot. They sometimes choose my backyard to bury a nut, and I’ll watch them spend up to an hour sampling…
This is the touching story of a woman whose life had no room for anything besides work, until a baby hare in distress halted her life and changed how she saw the world. In her memoir Raising Hare , Chloe Dalton tells the tale of her encounter with a leveret (a baby hare) she found outside her home, and the journey she went through to save it, raise it, love it. Before the hare, Chloe was barely…
People you know come knocking on the door. They bring candles. The light of their little fires blinds you; your eyes are used to darkness. They ask you questions with no answer. Some know better, and sit with you in silence. Others give you food you can’t taste. As they each take their leave, they turn and give you a brief look, hoping you’ll join them. They shut the door gently behind them. Their…
Six weeks ago, my mother died suddenly. I am in shock, devastated, numb, broken, empty, lost, weak. It is hard to speak to anyone. I miss her so much. Her name was Fauzia. ( Was . The most painful word I’ve ever typed.) My mother was an incredible woman. She was a doctor, painter, chef, philanthropist, and much more. She was my mother. She was always, always there for me. She gave me the…
I was eye to eye with a wolf named Keyni. I surrendered to the moment, sensing the kindness in his eyes, which made his immense paws look playful rather than powerful. I had the chance to meet this majestic wolf when I visited the Colorado Wolf and Wildlife Center , a wonderful sanctuary for wolves who cannot return to the wild. The minute I entered his enclosure, Keyni approached without…
It was the summer of 2019. I was driving through Yellowstone National Park when I spotted something through the windshield that got my heart racing. A lone bison. I’d never seen one before. I pulled over immediately. When I stepped out of my car, the air felt heavy. I stared, stunned. I knew not to come any closer. Not because of a posted sign, but because of the energy in the air.…
Every year, I publish a post sharing the best books I read. You can read my past posts from 2023 , 2022 , 2021 , 2020 , 2019 , 2018 , and 2017 . Onto this year’s favorites! Wild Animals I Have Known by Ernest Thompson Seton — A book I won’t soon forget. Each story offers an intimate portrait of the author’s close encounters with wild animals. The animals are the main characters…
I visited a place called Little Farm at Tilden Nature Reserve, up in the hills of Berkeley, California. It’s a working farm with all kinds of animals—sheep, goats, geese, chickens, rabbits, turkeys, cows, and more. I noticed I was the only adult there who wasn’t attending as a child’s accompaniment. But then I reminded myself I was chaperoning my inner child, and I continued on…
I just finished reading a beautiful book called The Mysterion by Kabir Helminski. The book is a wonderful introduction to the Sufi lens on spirituality, and how to find connection with our inner selves and those around us in an increasingly disconnected world. What I liked most about Kabir’s writing is that he offers a practical mindset to the nature of Self, and how to manage our inner…
I miss blogging. I’ve been publishing a newsletter on Substack for years, since it was a simple platform to publish a letter. These days, it feels like so much more. So many things going on, so much noise. It feels like a social media platform now. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. I know lots of writers (and celebrities, content creators, podcasters, etc.) that are thriving in this…
In December of last year, my cat Scooby passed away . I am still not over his loss. Maybe I never will be. I watched the beginning of a documentary on Netflix about Fungi. There was a time-lapse of a mouse decomposing. I had to turn it off. It looked too much like his body. I remembered brushing Scooby’s fur with a toothbrush, to prepare it for burial. I wanted him to look his best. It was a…
Years ago, after a bout with burnout , I was taking extended time off to recover. I had written down a “freedom list” of things I wanted to do. One of them was to get back into drawing. I used to draw as a kid, and I was pretty good at it, but I never pursued it because… well… my parents didn’t really encourage that kind of thing. All that really mattered was my grades. So, I dropped it. When I…
You see, there was the small matter of my desk. I refused to use it. I would hide on my couch and avoid it as much as possible. I couldn’t get myself to sit at that damn desk and write . I thought about it for a long while, and decided the problem was the desk itself. It was one of those fancy adjustable desks. It could lift itself up quite high, but it wouldn’t go down low enough for my liking.…
I went into the woods in search of solace. There, after many nights looking down at my phone, I stretched my neck and looked up at those tall trees, those magnificent giants, the redwoods. I kept walking until I reached the fast-flowing stream that cut through the woods. There was a sign. It said that the salmon were dying, and the park people were working hard to save them. Save the salmon? Why…
Recently, I finished narrating an audiobook edition of my upcoming book of fables. I thought it’d be worth collecting all the knowledge I’ve gained on audio production through the recording process. Even if you’re not doing any audio recording, these tips can help you elevate your microphone audio in online meetings and presentations. The way we show up online is heavily affected by our audio…
Last week, I wrote about my experience at a meditation retreat, in which a man fainted and reminded me of the preciousness of life. Another lesson I learned that day came from observing the leader of the retreat, Marc Lesser . He was sharing wisdom from the classic book Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind . As he spoke, I was reminded of a retreat of his I had attended more than four years ago, in which he…
Last weekend, I attended a meditation retreat. After an hour of sitting, a loud thump broke the silence. A man had just collapsed onto the floor. At first I thought he just fell asleep. Then he began shaking. I quickly got up and tried to help him. Another man, who just happened to be a doctor, knelt next to me. I helped straighten the man’s legs and put a pillow under his head while the doctor…
I’m working on a fable about a fish. I’ve probably rewritten it ten times by now. At first I felt frustrated by this endless cycle of iteration. But then I remembered: This is how it goes. This is the process. The task is to keep iterating until that “feeling” is reflected back to me in the work. It’s that pestering creature in my head that made me start writing in the first place, the…
“Finish something. Anything. Stop researching, planning, and preparing to do the work and just do the work. It doesn’t matter how good or how bad it is. You don’t need to set the world on fire with your first try. You just need to prove to yourself that you have what it takes to produce something.” —James Clear Procrastination is often perfectionism in disguise. And perfectionism is a…
“You’re writing a book?” they ask. “Yeah, it’s a book of fables,” I say. “I’ve been working on it for almost two years. I just finished the final rounds of editing, and now I’m doing the illustrations.” “Wow, that sounds like a ton of work. I’m sure it’ll sell lots of copies and pay off in the end!” I smile and nod, appreciating the kindness of their intent, all while thinking to myself, You don’t…
“All children are born artists, the problem is to remain an artist as we grow up.” —Pablo Picasso As a child, I was good at drawing, but I never kept up with it. That little artist died in grade school. He was buried under the burdens of doing well in “real” subjects like mathematics and science, getting into a good university, and pursuing a successful career. My parents didn’t explicitly stop me…
I’ve had a pit in my stomach since winter began. It’s been an intense sprint to finish a bunch of projects I’m juggling at once. Since my bout with burnout , I’ve been pretty careful about keeping my workload reasonable, but sometimes projects line up for a perfect storm. I’m trying to finish line edits for my book before the end of year. I’ve also been working with a friend to build a new…
It’s the end of the day, but you just got into some productive flow. You’re on a roll, so you tell yourself, “Let’s just keep going. It’s almost done.” You’re almost at the finish line, so why stop now? Unless you’re on a deadline, there’s value in leaving a little for tomorrow. The obvious reason to avoid overworking yourself. But there are a few other benefits to leaving creative leftovers. I…
Waiting for motivation is a losing game. Too often, I’ve sabotaged my goals by telling myself I’ll do the thing when I’m “in the mood,” or when I have “the space to do it properly.” Lately, I’ve been trying a different tact: Start with a tiny task. Then ride its momentum. Instead of trying to motivate myself to do the big thing, I’ll ask myself to do the smallest thing, anything, just…
Most of us are insecure. We look at others and think, “Wow. I want that.” In an algorithmically-optimized feed-scrolling world, we face a constant barrage of these seductions. Tweet after tweet, video after video tells us, “Your life could be like this! Just do what I do.” It works for them. But that doesn’t mean it’ll work for us. We have to determine that for ourselves. Our first thought is…
When I left my full-time job to pursue a life of creative independence, the thing I valued most was my freedom. I wanted to stay loose with my schedule and embrace serendipity. The unpredictability of each day was a welcome break from years of rigid work-enforced schedules. But, to my surprise, I discovered that too much freedom is draining . The burden of having to choose each and every activity…
Ideas are like candles. We must make the most of their light while it lasts. When an idea strikes, it’s tempting to write ourselves a private note to come back to later. This is a great first step, but it’s risky to stop there. When you abandon an idea so early, it leaves the idea in a vulnerable state. If you don’t come back soon, what you return to might be unrecognizable. Every writer has seen…
“Work-life balance” boils down to a simple idea: Don’t work for too many hours, and make sure you rest for enough hours. While this approach can reduce the likelihood of overwork, it doesn’t cater to our individual experience of work. It assumes that we all experience an hour of work exactly the same way, for every activity we do. Sometimes we feel exhausted after just ten minutes of a task. Other…
A year ago, I read a blog post by Seth Godin about a writing program called Akimbo Writing in Community , led by Kristin Hatcher. Seth had helped launch the program after seeing the success of another program he ran, altMBA. The idea behind Writing in Community was simple, but bold: ‘Show up’ to write every day for six months, then publish a book on Kindle. In the program’s parlance, ‘showing up’…
I like to think of writing as peeling layers from the onion of my mind. Each layer is meaningful, but it is just one layer of many. This framing suggests not taking any single layer too seriously, for there are so many others to come. When I look at writing in this way, it fills me with the energy of curiosity . I become genuinely interested to unveil the mystery of myself. If what I’m writing now…
Do you remember the day you killed one of your own? There you were, scrolling your phone, lying in a fetal position on your bed, when suddenly an idea appeared to you. You knew right away that it had to be shared, and that only you were uniquely qualified to share it. Its electric energy jolted you out of bed and onto the chair at your desk, where you began pouring its essence onto a new page,…
Great feedback is a gift, but most feedback isn’t great. It takes a lot of intention, practice, and self-awareness to master the art of giving feedback. It treads on treacherous territory—the Ego—making it tough to toe the line and easy to take the wrong turns. As a result, most of the feedback we get is all over the place. Occasionally, we get feedback that sparks us with a life-changing boost,…
You’ve been meaning to start writing online, but you’re afraid. You’re afraid of what people might say when they read it. You’re also afraid that no one will read it. You worry that your work isn’t good enough. That no one gives a damn about what you think. But the fact that you worry is precisely why your work will be genuine, interesting, and unique. Because you care, your perspectives are…
Signals are everywhere. We notice the most subtle cues from the world around us. If we see a red light while driving, we instinctively hit the brakes. If we notice a cat’s hind legs shimmying, we know a pounce is coming. If a trusted friend gives us that look with their eyes, we know something’s up. We process most signals immediately, effortlessly, and often subconsciously. And yet, we fail to…
When I was a child, I didn’t really know how to swim properly. I hadn’t learned how to do breaststroke, and so I would get exhausted after swimming a few laps. I had taken some swimming lessons, but they never stuck. ( I had some pretty bad childhood swim coaches, some of whom would simply dunk me underwater to “resolve” my fear of swimming. ) As an adult, I decided I wanted to learn to swim. For…
Back in the early 2000s, I was an IT intern at an agricultural engineering facility. I literally worked on a farm. The company did scientific research and engineering on different kinds of corn oil. I was hired by an IT manager who had thus far ran the IT department by himself. I was the first hire he had ever made. As I would soon learn, his expectations for my role were quite limited. My job was…
Do you remember the freedom of childhood play? You tasted every object, crossed every line, pushed every envelope. You did it without hesitation. The world was your playground. As you grew up, you were taught to respect the rules. You stopped frolicking and started following. You were told that rewards were waiting for you, as long as you stayed in your lane. After all, you’d come so far on the…
After I went through a phase of burnout, I took a sabbatical. It led to an awakening of sorts, both intellectually and spiritually. Afterwards, friends told me I seemed like a new person. They called me ‘Salman 2.0’. This made me wonder: When, exactly, did I change ‘versions’? And what will ‘Salman 3.0’ be like? It’s fascinating to reflect upon my life in terms of versions.…
I wasn’t sure how it would feel to have 2,000 followers on Twitter, but I expected to feel something . When it finally happened, I felt nothing. I was surprised by this — when accounts hit a milestone like that, they often share a celebratory tweet (or use it as cause to do an Ask Me Anything.) I thought I’d feel the same way, but I didn’t feel motivated to do any of those things. It felt utterly…
Deciding when to share an idea is a lot like picking fruit. A farmer can never know for certain how a fruit will taste. They look for any signals they can find of its ripeness — its color, smell, shape, and texture. Their success depends on their ability to do the seemingly impossible: predict how a fruit will taste, without ever tasting it. How do they do it? They taste and experiment, they try…
Everything changed when I looked at a bird. I was in my back yard. A myriad of chirps echoed their way through the trees. They blended with the instrumentals of the wind, coalescing into nature’s white noise. Within this chaotic blur of birds, a single chirp called out to me. I scanned the branches until I found its origin — a gray little bird with a squarish head, standing tall like an army…
It’s midnight. Instead of sleeping, I’m writing. I have no one to blame but myself — I put this off all week long. I hate this. It’s always the same routine. I take shelter behind my shield of excuses. I dread and deflate, whine and cry, obsess and protest, moan and groan… I want to do it. But I won’t let myself. Until, finally, exhausted by my own resistance, I…
I drift between rooms like a spirit with unfinished business. After almost a year of lockdown, every corner of my home is etched into my subconscious. I can traverse my halls in total darkness with feline ease, my face lit by tiny bodily appendages known as screens. I stubbornly strive to recreate the before times, feebly sticking life’s puzzle pieces together with duct tape. Riding the endless…
Amidst the lockdowns of a global pandemic, the sounds of life have changed. For the first time in a century, the hustle and bustle that fills our streets has gone quiet. In this eerie silence, the song of the birds echoes louder than ever before. Even our deepest thoughts have amplified their volume. These existential provocations used to be drowned out by the busyness of our lives. Now, they…
The biggest obstacle in creative work is the burden of expectation. We build an idea in our minds of what it should look like, and compare against it at every step. Our imagination is simply too vivid, too crisp for our own good. With every stroke we make, we see all too clear the gap between what lies before us and what floats in our minds. In the ruthless game of self-criticism, our judgements…