enna, here! your girl in viewfinder, et cetera boy, ever the anti-romancer. blogging as a form of self-discipline: a whittling down of the soul to its most...
for those of us who live close to the equator, july is the month of turning: the last dregs of summer are ushered off into colder parts of the world, and we contend with damper days ahead. our clouds at sunset, which i have previously described as cry-your-eyes-out gorgeous; perhaps the only redeeming factor of our inclement weather. in preparation for the rainy season, i made a to-do list at the…
the house shudders at night. a reminder that the world is turning. two weeks turns into three then six then half a year’s gone by without me noticing. they say time passes faster the older you get, so i stay up late at night to catch my breath. i've been at my job for a whole year now. half the people i started with have left. to send them off i have bought enough hershey's kisses and kitschy…
image from dir. masayuki yoshihara's the eccentric family ed: 'que sera sera' by fhána (2013). every year at the end of rainy season, i'll hunker down and churn out at least one poem just for me; they're all over the place, and now i've decided they live here! 1 2022 from the clouds burst forth sweet rice flour and rain or warm sun, or still light, or faint wind. shall we press down on the old…
(spoilers for the novel ahead!) last year, my friends and i decided we'd run a book club with a theme for every month. i managed to be diligent about this until july when my job started picking up; but in the end, it was ursula k. le guin's a wizard of earthsea that bested me. much like ged, my stay on the island of roke was prolonged: it lasted nearly seven months. i suspect that the reason for…
dreamt of you. lied down next to you on the bed you shared with mâ. leaned on your shoulder. cried when i woke. think you asked for some hearty soup with tender ribs but can’t remember for sure. told mom we should offer some up with incense. think you wanted to be with us for your sister's birthday. know i wanted to be with you for it. got up for a short walk. felt the wind blowing on my face,…
i. recently, i’ve started sleeping with the lights off again. life has been so hectic, and reporting to the office everyday has been exhausting; i keep passing out in bed reading something or other, and they end up staying on. (i try not to read in the dark — i feel much more mortal than i did as a teen, and i’m constantly reminded that my eyes are essential to my profession.) but i noticed i…
for kong, whom i cherish more than words can express: mabalacat, the summer of 2018 — i'd decided during the school year where and what i was doing for college, but i hadn't quite told you. i probably should have. the first time i'd ever learned how to work with shapes on a program was in your living room. i don't remember what we were talking about. i think i hinted at it. not unkindly, you said…
image from dir. yasuhiro irie's fullmetal alchemist: brotherhood ending 1: 嘘 by SID do you know what the worst thing about getting older is? i'll tell you: you start believing that happiness comes at a cost. you lose people and places and things and you keep losing; because time is a foe that is only as generous as she is cruel. now i've been gone for a couple of super crazy extra eventful months…
you're an eternal optimist, so you get your heart broken easily. something's always hurting. it's been hard to speak lately. we haven't been here in a long time. you're fine — this is what you tell yourself, because you want it so badly to be true. something true: you don't act like it, because you're obsessed with being good and strong, but everything stays with you. the day you held both of…
long time no see! or write? or something. i've been well! a little lost for sure, but largely coping better with the uncertainty of being a living, breathing person in the world. grandpa is two months out from his fracture and on the mend doing physical therapy every couple of days. i admit i haven't been to see him lately; he always looks so sad when i say i've got to leave. i'm working on it.…