Tiers of acceptance with grief

I didn’t fight against my mom’s passing. I trusted her soul’s plan.

That spiritual tier of acceptance showed up for me and I wasn’t plagued with the torturous whys, too soons, shouldn’t have lefts, life cut shorts…

I didn’t second-guess the exit point and that most likely spared me some degree of inner turmoil.

The unexpected tiers that hit sideways are when I’m wanting to tell her about a fortunate experience, a funny story she’d laugh at, one of my kids’ wins, a new episode of a show we loved, the dawning of a deeper spiritual understanding around our shared past….

Life moments, in present time, that have always felt more satisfying when shared together, making life itself more meaningful.

That’s the day-to-day heartbreak of grief when a reframe of this new reality is required. That’s one of the present moment / physical tiers of grief.

There’s also the letting go of future visions of us rocking on my front porch as we aged, a planned pilgrimage to Machu Picchu, a meaningful trip to my birthplace, Denmark, a mother/ daughter book and podcast we were imagining …

… And now those timelines we were calling in together can gently be released back into the Quantum Field…

I never vibed with the ubiquitous “grief is sneaky” mantra I heard from well-meaning people more often than I cared to. Like grief is a monster laying wait to swallow me whole...

But, I do think grief is unexpected in its breadth and scope. And the tiers of fully grasping life before and life after they’ve passed, will not be bypassed.

And truthfully, why would you even want to?

My favorite phrase that I have said from the time of her death is: “This sacred path of grief.”

It has given me courage, and put me right in the center of any of the grief tiers when they’ve arisen.

And that’s exactly where I want to be on this journey of reverence, emotion and tenderness.