When you finally come up for air...

I finally caved and bought a weighted vest.

(As if it weren’t already abundantly clear that I have entered my Midlife Era.)

I blame the peer pressure.

My friend Beth recently started meeting to walk together on Wednesday mornings, and then a couple of weeks ago, our mutual friend Araceli joined the fun too.

They both had weighted vests. I did not.

And between the vests, Beth gleefully pointing out all the birds along the way, and my own obsession with sourdough, we joked that we’ve officially checked almost every box on Instagram’s list of midlife hobbies. Even pickleball. All we need now to complete the set is knitting and mahjong.

After the walk, I realized I might as well embrace it. So I bought the darn vest.

But despite all the midlife cliches, those morning walks have quickly become one of my favorite parts of the week.

Because honestly, I think I forgot just how soul-restoring it can be to spend an hour with a couple of girlfriends, chatting about life and nothing in particular.

Especially because the last few months have been hard–some of the hardest I’ve had in a long time.

When I made the decision back in March to dramatically simplify my business, I had no idea just how difficult and emotionally draining this whole process would be, or how much it would shake my confidence and sense of self.

Even though deep down, I knew it was the right decision, there were a lot of days where it just felt like I was failing everything.

And that made it hard to do anything. Especially write this newsletter.

After all, it’s hard to write from the middle of the storm. I kept waiting to find the lesson, the neat takeaway that would make it all make sense.

But sometimes there isn’t one. Sometimes things are just hard.

And when you’re just trying to grind your way through the muck, your world gets small. You put your head down. You push through. You tell yourself you’ll come up for air once you’re through it.

So I guess this is me finally coming up for air.

It’s a new month. A new quarter. And finally, a new set of goals.

On our last walk, I mentioned to my girlfriends that my biggest goal for the next three months is to just simply have more fun. To throw more parties and go on dates and enjoy spending time with the people I love. To get my spark back.

They laughed, not out of mockery, but relief.

“Well, thank goodness,” Araceli told me, “because when you’re not fun, the rest of us aren’t fun either. Don’t you know that you’re the one who gets the rest of us to do anything?”

And while she was teasing, she wasn’t wrong.

Bringing people together is kind-of my superpower.

And when I don’t do it, no one else really steps in to fill that gap. At least not in quite the same way.

Maybe it’s because I’m just bossy, or because I love hosting and planning and being so unapologetically over-the-top when it comes to throwing a party.

But as I sat down to plan my goals for this quarter, I realized how much fun has been missing from my life these past few months.

And I’m determined to change that.

Three years ago, my husband Chuck and I bought our farmhouse in the country with a specific vision. Yes, we wanted a beautiful space, with plenty of room to stretch out.

But more than that, we wanted a place where people could gather. A place where everyone feels welcome and comfortable and loved.

And while that vision has never changed, I think sometimes the day-to-day demands of running a business while also tackling the seemingly endless list of home projects sometimes make we forget what we’re actually doing all of this for.

Somewhere along the way, we got so caught up building that vision that we forgot to live it.

But I’m working on it.

In fact, next weekend, I’m throwing a birthday party for my friend Brie.

Naturally, I’ve gone completely overboard.

I won’t spoil the surprise, but frankly, it’s the most fun I’ve had in a very long time, and I can’t wait to see how it all comes together.

Albert Schweitzer once said, “success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.“ Along those same lines, Mary Oliver famously asked, “tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?“

In other words? Sometimes we get so busy building the life we want that we forget to actually live it.

I don’t have it all figured out quite yet. There are still loose ends. I’m still finding my footing.

But this quarter, I’m choosing to make room for joy again. To invite people over. To linger a little longer. To savor more moments. To throw more parties and go on more dates. To remember why I started building this life in the first place.

And so, my challenge for you this week is to ask yourself the same question I’ve been wrestling with lately: What have you been working so hard to build that you’ve forgotten to actually enjoy it?

Don’t get so busy grinding that you forget to actually live.

After all, life is happening right now.

Live with purpose, friend, and have a wonderful week!

xoxo, Ruth

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