If you’re going to leave him, stay gone.

Listen & Read

Lately I've been realizing that some lessons only repeat themselves because we keep volunteering to learn them again.

Nothing looks worse than being indecisive about your boundaries.

People respond better to certainty, but…. hope, belief, and old memories have a way of convincing you that maybe it’s worth trying again.

Sometimes being sentimental creates a kind of false hope. The idea that one day things will be different. That somehow he’ll become what you’ve been asking him to be all along. But you can only say the same thing so many times before people show you exactly how much they’re willing to hear. And even then, the only thing you’ll be left with is wondering why you didn’t leave sooner.

Reminiscing is probably my worst trait. I have a habit of replaying memories and finding the beauty in them long enough to make them feel bigger than they were. More meaningful. More inspiring. I romanticize them until I forget the reality of why they ended in the first place.

And I don’t just see it in myself. I see it in my friends, my sisters, acquaintances, and almost every woman I meet. Memories are beautiful things to have, but when you only keep the good ones, they start replacing all the reasons you left him alone in the first place.

But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that going back once usually makes things worse than they were the first time. It doesn’t have to be abusive. It doesn’t even have to be terrible. It just has to contradict what you’re looking for.

And that should be enough.

If you’re going to leave, don’t turn around and look back. There’s nothing behind you waiting to save you. Nothing waiting to suddenly become what it wasn’t before.

Going back says, “I’m willing to sacrifice what I want to make this work.”

And in return, you're left staring at a version of yourself you thought you'd already committed to leaving behind.