Everyone’s Dream Girl, But Where’s Mine?

listen & read <3

Maybe it’s the slight hangover from a night out with my girls, or just the quiet morning after. Either way, I’ve been thinking.

I’ve spent so much time being a source of comfort, excitement, and connection for other people that I need to come back to myself.

The last few months have made me realize I’m a really great experience when I’m interested in someone.

But why is it that I rarely walk away feeling like I found that same feeling too?

And I get it. Feeling seen by someone is special. But im questioning if i care to be seen anymore…

Because that’s the exhausting part. The expectation to always be captivating. To be the excitement, the comfort, the sexy, the spark. After a while, it’s tiring to always feel like you’re the experience.

You start to wonder when you’ll experience that feeling too.

I know what I bring to the table. Smart, educated, soft, ambitious, and beautiful. There are so many reasons to want to be with me.

But being someone’s dream girl and finding your dream person are two completely different things.

And maybe that’s why male energy has started to feel draining. The constant pressure to be interesting enough, exciting enough, and new enough to keep someone’s attention… its irritating.

Sometimes it feels like being admired is easier than being truly known.

I don’t even want more attention anymore. I wanted validation, but now I just want space to exist. Space to enjoy me the way someone I love would.

Space to come back to myself and remember what it feels like to be my own favourite.

For now, I think I need to come back to me.