My Super Scientific Breakdown of the Deconstruction World

Deconstruction Options: Pick One?

Last week’s episode of Chapel Probation was a solo check-in with me talking about why I have no desire to ever be associated with Christianity again. It’s a bit of a risk since it’s well-known that to have any traction in the deconstruction space, one needs to at least pretend to still be some kind of progressive Christian. Absolute agnostics (without the Christian designation), atheists, and “nones” tend to be rejected. During season 2 I started to be more vocal about my complete lack of belief in the Christian god and bible, and my numbers began a slow but steady decline in weekly listens. This has been slightly tempered by new people finding Chapel Probation and following and listening.

Today, I have around 1000 subscribers across all the platforms. That’s really cool to me, but I know this is a much smaller number than most, if not all, of my colleagues in the deconstruction world. And honestly, the weekly number of listens is significantly lower than the subscriber count. BIPOC guests still get 20-40% fewer listens than White guests. The ebb and flow of subscribers does account for the fact that a lot of my earlier episodes and a handful of more recent ones have around 2000 listens.

But this post is not about analytics and demographics. It’s about levels of belief in my guests and listeners. Or disbelief. A lot of people are using the term, “deconstruction.” Some fundies use it in a derogatory sense, but most people use it as a catch-all for everyone who has parted ways with evangelical and/or fundamentalist Christianity. But not everyone lands in the same place. So here is my own general breakdown of the deconstruction world.

Based on my guests on Chapel Probation and listening to guests on my colleagues’ podcasts, the following is my breakdown of the various people in the deconstruction world.

Level 1- The Still-Christian “I Can’t Quit You” Church-goers

These are, generally speaking, not my subscribers. They have recognized the toxic culture and trauma caused by whatever Christian culture they were in and have taken the significant step of getting out to a wide variety of degrees. The person might still be attending church with family or might be completely out. But this person is looking for, or has already found, a more progressive form of Christianity to follow. For this person, progressive Christian influencers are a godsend. Tim Whitaker’s New Evangelicals, Brian Recker, April A Joy, and Monte Mader are guiding lights. These celebrities do not offer much, if anything, in the way of alternative theologies to replace the toxic ones they post about, but they make Level 1 deconstructers feel seen and understood as they point out toxic attitudes, values, and practices all too familiar to anyone who has left. The influencers, to me, are shooting theological/cultural fish in a make-believe barrel, but kudos to them for suffering the hateful, if ineffectual, slings and arrows of fundamentalist anger and bigotry.

These people value the sense of community and routines of church life, so they look for progressive spaces that feel familiar in the setup, just without the hatred and half-baked theology of the fundies. The level of belief can range greatly here. Some still believe the bible is the absolute word of god, while some see the bible as simply a metaphorical guide to life. And everything in between.

Level 1a: The sleeper unbeliever in the conservative church.

I know several people who have told me that they no longer believe in fundamentalist Christianity or even any Christianity at all, but they remain attending their fundy family church. Lots of stories that I cannot give names. I know of three people in the swinging/non-monogamous lifestyle who attend fundy church with their kids and family, I know of three other people who have had torrid affairs and are still married to their spouses and attending their family church. One of them even told me they don’t believe in god anymore but that they want the family to stay together. It’s all so complicated and messy, yes, but I find myself both critical and sympathetic to these people. I do cringe a little when I see their social media posts filled with laughing children, kissing spouses, and declarations of love for family and god. But I kind of get it, too. The need to belong can outweigh the need to be one’s true self. I don’t like the deception of the cheaters, but it must be hard to sleep at night keeping such secrets...forever? You may or may not be surprised to learn that 2 of the 3 cheaters I know are women.

In any case, I’m not in the business of outing people for their complex lives.

And there are some who are completely open about their lack of belief who still attend church. I’ve met people who attend All Saints Episcopal church here in Pasadena who do not believe in god and don’t think the bible is redeemable but attend because it makes them feel good.

I hate those people. What the fuck do you have against Sunday mornings, you sociopaths!

I’m kidding of course.

But seriously. WTF? Church is a hell of a drug.

I addressed this in this week’s episode, but church was never a place of comfort for me, a perpetual outsider at best and perpetual immigrant at worst. For the agnostic/atheist church-goers, being in church brings them back to happy, peaceful times.

Level 2- The “Unchurched” Believers/Christ-Followers

I suspect this is the largest group of my still-christian listeners. These folks still believe in god and look to Jesus as a moral compass, but they just cannot set foot in another church. Often there are traumatic memories, SA’s, systemic abuse of their time and their minds, and the usual racism, queerphobia, patriarchy, and misogyny associated with any building designated as a church. These people may or may not believe in the bible. The ones who really confuse me are the ones who acknowledge the catastrophic problems of the bible, don’t believe it to be a reliable source for living, but still claim to follow Jesus. Jesus Christ does not exist outside of the bible. Where are they getting details of Jesus’ life and teachings? The bible. That they don’t believe. In their minds, the ethos of the Jesus story is enough to make them a follower. My question is why do they need Jesus at all? Those same teachings can be found in so many other places from countless other people. But for these good people, it matters that it all comes from Jesus, whom they feel they already know.

And, of course, there are those who do still believe in the bible and god/Jesus/Holy Spirit but just can’t bring themselves to join a church. They still read the bible and pray. They just don’t need or want the messiness of larger community, even as they worship and adore deconstruction pastors like the aforementioned influencers. Every time Brian Recker looks into the camera with no shirt and a blue steel face, Level 2 deconstructers swoon. They feel seen and understood. When Monte Mader focuses her sculpted cheeks, scowls into her ring light, and decries Christian nationalism, their hearts swell. And when April A Joy makes comedy out of something that happened to her in church, they say, “me, too!” She gets them. White influencers on their side provide validation of not being in church.

Often this crowd distances themselves from the MAGA/White nationalist world and says things like #notarealchristian when talking about Mike Pence or Doug Wilson. They are supremely confident their Christianity is the right one. Again, based on a fatally flawed group of 66 books written across centuries and culled from manuscripts copied and altered for hundreds of years after the originals were written.

I say it often. No one follows most of what the bible instructs people to believe and do. Everyone has to pick and choose according to the realities of when and where they live. The progressive Christians I’m friends with will readily acknowledge all that I’m describing here, and they are some of my favorite people in the world.

Level 3: The “Nones.” No faith, no church, no problem.

Ditching faith and church altogether takes courage (excuse me as I pat myself on the back). I left when the internet was in its toddler stage, so I had no one to share the experience with outside of my wife and toddler children. But if you read my book, you’ll know that I padded my exit from church and faith by trading them for the community that I have today. As I say in my podcast episode, I do not miss anything about church. At all.

In the “nones” you will find people who still like talking about theology and the problems of the church. It’s a phase we all go through. I’m over that now. Outside of fighting against the Christian Nationalist White supremacy being spread throughout the land by our elected government, I have zero interest in debating theology. The time has come to build life, community, coalitions, and to fight the power.

Jesus is the enemy now. Not Matthew 25 Jesus. MAGA Jesus. MAGA Jesus has won the day, and he is cruel, corrupt, and immoral. And a major asshole.

So that’s my super-scientific breakdown of what I see in the Deconstruction world today. There are gradients of each category for sure, but I want to make it clear: I would take anyone from this breakdown over any fundamentalist. All day, every day.

As I said in the podcast, you can love completely without complete understanding. I do not understand Christianity. But I’m kind of an idiot, so…yeah. I don’t even understand how any decent human can enjoy KPop or country music. Yeah. I’m an asshole, too.

But if anyone wants to build community and start a revolution, I’m down. Sign me up.