Tracking My Inner Energy and Mindful Teaching

I was on a retreat for educators last year and one of the leaders shared how challenging it is for them to speak to groups. They talked about how they apply mindfulness to practice with the extreme discomfort they feel before and during group presentations. This has been a long term practice as they continue to cultivate their capacity to offer teaching to groups.

As I listened, I realized that I also experience anxiety, but I tend to respond differently. I know now that my untended anxious energy limits others’ ability to receive my teaching.

With mindfulness, I continue to grow my awareness of my inner experience to understand my personal patterns. Unlike my gentle teacher friend, I spent decades developing a bold and enthusiastic “self” who never took off her armor - in the classroom or anywhere else. Over time, that armor became so well-fitted, I did not even know I was wearing it. Here is how I wrote about it after a mid-life crash that led to deep, guided exploration and healing:

“Though I was unaware, for decades my life had been all about action and busy-ness, creating identities from multiple roles as I hurtled along. As a professional, I brought intellect and skill and a strong work ethic. In these spheres, I was considered productive and high achieving. I was often bold, opinionated, and intense. The unknown, unacknowledged anxiety that had me constantly spinning and producing to create a worthy identity and to deny vulnerability finally broke through. (Schnorr, 2026, Inside Mindful Teaching)

Knowing my pattern is helpful. When I am not present and connected to myself (and therefore not available for connection to others), the tone of my energies may look, sound and feel like:

• (over-)confidence,

• fast pace

• high energy,

• “large and in-charge.”

• rise in body temperature, perspiring

The more these energies present, the more difficult it is for others to receive the fullness of my offering. My nervous system is too activated. I believe my teacher friend’s intense fear and anxiety may also reflect nervous system activation. Her response is just different from mine. My nervous system invites me to present “false strength” as I move toward “fight” energy (masked as enthusiasm, confidence and certainty).

I practice to monitor my inner experience through my body’s cues. I am learning to recognize when I am present enough (regulated)—or to notice when I am moving away from presence (becoming activated). My nervous system provides continuous physical cues. Mindfulness in my teaching (or any interaction) requires a regulated (enough) nervous system.

Here are some of my body’s cues that indicate that my nervous system may not be regulated enough to share from a place of presence and connection - to myself (the foundation for presence and connection to others).

• tension in my body (face, jaw, neck, throat, shoulders)

• fast rate of speech

• speeded up steps and quick, choppy physical movements

• vocal tension which sounds higher pitched, forced and strained

• increased heart rate

• tight breathing

• tightness in my stomach (gut)

Other individuals I know experience different physical patterns with anxiety (e.g., feeling unable to speak or respond, feeling slowed down-stuck/ immobilized, unable to take an action). Each of us can learn to notice what tends to be going on in our body when anxiety is pulling us away from awareness/ connection to ourself.

When my nervous system is regulated, reflecting my presence and connection to my inner self, here are some sensations I may experience in my body:

• slowed down movements

• relaxed facial muscle and expression

• shoulders settled down

• a “good” sense of heaviness, weighted-ness in my whole body- a physical grounding

• slower rate of speech with pauses

• pauses between verbal responses and movements

• easy, lighter breath flowing

• softening sensation in my chest around my heart

• softness around eyes, sometimes teariness or near tears sensation

My practice includes short mindfulness supports. One is to be proactive. I practice a little bit as I am transitioning or before I land in my teaching/presenting context. This might mean taking slowed down, mindful steps down the hall, pausing for three to ten breaths, setting up materials with slowed down physical movements, one step at a time. The second is to have “go-to” in the moment practices when I notice any physical cues that tell me I am moving away from presence. These might include pausing briefly, feeling my feet on the ground or energy in my hands or taking three secret breaths. I intentionally slow down my speech and physical movements and allow space (pauses) for even a few seconds when I am talking or before I respond when listening. These can help me to re-set and stay in my window of regulated-enough.

Sometimes during, and especially after sharing from a place of regulation and authentic presence, I feel deeply connected to myself and others. My offerings are often received in very meaningful ways. Not always, but now I feel satisfaction whenever I can make a wholesome offering. Sometimes after I share from a regulated-enough place, my energy just feels neutral. Neutral for me can be a good sign; it signifies that I did not get caught in my old pattern of anxiety-fueled power and expertise.

As I am sharing from a place of regulation and presence, I often feel some vulnerability, which is not necessarily comfortable. This may be about my personal habit energies. I spent decades sharing in the old way, spewing high “energy” and “confidence,” and now, taking off the armor makes me feel naked. It was also the case that many groups in our culture seem to love that performance-type presentation, and I was rewarded. Just noticing and being with the subtle sensation of vulnerability helps. The vulnerability need not dominate, but I need to stay in touch with it.

What I know now is that people can best receive my offering when I am present and connected to myself. When I am grounded in my body, the fear of being vulnerable eases up as I settle in. I trust my authenticity and focus on my offering rather than on how others might respond.

Roberta Schnorr, Author of Inside Mindful Teaching