Trump gears up to bail on Iran

Sunday August 9, 2026

Due solely to the hideously idiotic strategic command of 5-time draft dodger Donald Trump and drunk former Fox weekend host Pete Hegseth, our brave and awesome US military, formerly simply referenced as troops and now hideously, through no fault of their own, dubbed lethal WARFIGHTERS (of the non-DEI variety of course) are about to be - after being instructed to blow through virtually our entire stock of munitions and accomplishing zero of the regime’s stated objectives - forced to concede defeat to a third rate power. If we weren’t totally respected in the world again this would really be a bitch.

After Trump, for about the 30th time, give or take, said a deal was at hand that would open the Strait (well, actually, he said on Friday that the Strait was already open and that “we control it” but, seriously, no one believes anything he says about Iran anymore), Iran today, CBS News, AP, CNN and others report, says Trump can eat shit and that that the Strait will stay closed until the US accepts all of its demands, including lifting the US naval blockade, removing sanctions, unfreezing assets, compensating Iran for war damages, and getting all US troops the f*ck out of the area. Okay then.

And – spoiler alert: it looks like they’ll get whatever the hell they want. The Wall Street Journal reports today that “Trump has been privately floating to aides that he’d declare victory and walk away from the Iran war without a nuclear deal if Tehran fully reopened the Strait” - which was of course fully open before this idiotic shit show began!!!! So, to review, Trump destabilized the Middle East, tanked the global economy, got American troops killed, incinerated a school full of innocent Iranian children, and spent more than $100 billion to get the Strait, which was open in the first place, back open. Art of the deal baby!

For the cherry on the shit sandwich for Gramps, his buddy Bibi Netanyahu, the New York Times reports today, told Trump he could stick his stupid Board of Peace’s disarmament agreement with Hamas where the sun don’t shine. The Times called it “an unusually public break with President Trump.” LOLOLOL

About the only thing enshittified, to use Charlie Sykes’s favorite word, as much as our foreign policy and our standing in the world is our economy. And the regime is facing that problem with its typical candor, accountability, and can-do attitude. HAHAHAHAHA just kidding.

On Fox this morning, monumentally embarrassing dipshit Trump Economic Advisor Kevin Hassett is asked, given that 78% of Americans in a new Fox poll say they view the economy as either just fair or poor, when Americans can expect relief.

Hassett: “The prices went up so much under Joe Biden that we understand why people are still frustrated,” and he wanted transgender for everyone. Okay, I made up Hassett saying the transgender bit but drink anyway!

So explain this to me like I’m a second grader: how is it that their Orange God King, who is all powerful and makes miracles happen by his force of will, also hasn’t been able to even make a dent in all the alleged harm that Biden did even though his fat ass has been back in the White House for 18 months?? My God, at what point will the mainstream media call out Trump’s sycophantic minions for saying Gramps hasn’t been able to do jack shit in a year and a half? Seems like that should be top of mind but I guess nah.

And it’s not just that idiot Hassett living in Lalaland. RNC Chair Joe Gruters, as Meidas Touch points out, was asked by NewsNation (damn, I guess even the propagandists let reality slip through every once in a while) why the GOP deserved to keep power considering “inflation is 3.5%, higher than earnings, gas is $4 a gallon, electricity prices continue to go up, and GDP is at 1.5%”

Gruters: “People forget that Biden’s disastrous reign led us to this situation.” Aaaaarrrghhh!!!!

Oh, Gruters also confirmed that the party is going to support creep, flaming asshole and (alleged) wife beater, child abuser and stuffed bunny hostage taker Max Miller, saying “We’re gonna support our nominees.” Anything to keep those Communists at bay, I guess.

Extra Credit:

Former reality TV actor now playing Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy, fresh off spending months of “working days” in office filming another reality show with his dopy family called “The Great American Road Trip” – which was sponsored by bribes from corporations doing business with his department and was apparently such a banger that it has never aired(!!) – is now spending his time helping his 26-year-old son-on-law, Michael Alfonso, run for Congress in Wisconsin’s Seventh Congressional District.

Alfonso, whose vast qualifications for the job include working on lunatic and former FBI official (for about 5 minutes) Dan Bongino’s podcast and being a part-time bookkeeper at his church, has received, the Wall Street Journal reports, big contributions from Delta Airlines, Southwest Airlines, and the US Travel Association, not that they have anything to do with his father-in-law’s job or anything. The Transportation Secretary, as it happens, is a frequent guest at Alfonso campaign events but don’t worry – a Duffy spokesliar tells the Journal that “the secretary’s attendance at campaign events is in his personal capacity, and DOT ethics officials screen events before his participation.” HAHAHAHAHA They don’t even try to hide the corruption.

Kevin Hermening, another Trump-worshiping loon who is challenging Duffy’s son-on-law for the nomination, calls Alfonso’s candidacy a classic case of political nepotism but, in perfect lying MAGA fashion, says this is really rare because “we are the party of merit.” LOLOLOL I’m losing it over here.

As it happens, the Wall Street Journal has another example of total merit right there on its front page today. Trump’s ghoulish son-in-law Jared Kushner – who totally got $2 billion in investment funds from the Saudis solely because of his brilliant skills that had nothing to do with his family connections – has stepped in it again. Remember that little slice of Albania that Jared and Ivanka bought and planned to obscenely develop into a playground for the upper 1% of the 1%? You’ll recall the locals were really up in arms with that bullshit and it looks like they had a beef.

The locals contend the land Kushner bought is owned by the village and its residents. Instead, the Journal reports, Kushner paid $120 million to one Arthur Shehu for it. Shehu, turns out, is a gangster and money launderer who led a global cocaine-smuggling ring and fled to Miami after getting into a gunfight at a bar. The Journal calls the controversy “the latest black eye for Kushner’s foreign real-estate ambitions.”

Finally, because I can’t resist, here’s something you could have happily lived your entire life without knowing: it turns out that Santa Monica Goebbels’ vile wife Katie Miller, People Magazine, citing the Capitol Hill blog Sources Say News, reports, had a fling with dirtbag former California Congressman Eric Swalwell back in the day. And they say bipartisanship is dead.

Thanks so much for reading and stay safe and healthy everyone!!! Remember we are not the crazy ones!!!