The Iran lies are jumping the shark

Wednesday August 12, 2026

Being an American under the Trump regime is truly like living in a dystopian novel. Literally ever day brings new horrors. Today, for example, we find out that the Department of Homeland Security plans to spend $20 mil, the New York Times reports, to outfit ICE goons with gloves that can deliver electric shocks. The Times explains that the gloves “use pain to induce compliance.” Seriously, how do they even come up with this shit?

Great that these masked agents of the state are getting more methods of torture, huh? The news drops just as another sickening video is circulating today of a masked ICE goon pointing a gun at a head of a woman driver in Virginia – a US born citizen as it happens, ABC News reports – after she yelled at them. The agent, accompanied by 3 other fellow goons, immediately jumped to one of their go-to lies and repeatedly accused her of trying to run him over and threatening to arrest her over it. He backed down after she told him she was videotaping the whole thing on her cell phone and her dashboard camera, both of which clearly showed her car hadn’t moved a millimeter toward the agents. No way, right?

Beyond the gratuitous cruelty, the casual racism, the open corruption, and the glaring disdain for the rule of law, the insane lying was also over the top today, even for them.

Desperately wanting to get the hell out of his idiotic war in Iran, Trump, you’ll recall, told advisors, the Wall Street Journal reported earlier this week, that he would essentially give Iran whatever the hell he wanted if they just opened the Strait and let him declare victory. Turns out Iran loves torturing his dumb ass and knows they don’t have to agree to jack shit because they have all the cards. Damn that must really frost Trump’s ass.

So today he thumbed this whopper out on Lie Social: “The U.S.A. has total control over the Strait of Hormuz. I THINK WE WILL KEEP IT! Our Naval Blockade is being called, by everyone, ‘A WALL OF STEEL,’ and there is nothing Iran can do about it. They have no Navy, they have no Air Force, their remaining soldiers are unpaid, the IRGC is decimated and fleeing, and their ‘Leadership’ is uncertain, at best! They have No Money - Their country is ‘shot.’ All they have is FAKE NEWS and 300% INFLATION, and getting worse! Iran is all talk and no action, the Bully of the Middle East No Longer. Praise be to Allah! President DONALD J. TRUMP” Wheeee!!!!

Are you f*cking kidding me with this lunacy???? Where in the hell to start what the best – and of course by that we always mean worst – part of this is. (1) Well it’s almost like this is a given, but to get it on the record, every syllable is a lie. Duh. (2) I think the people who called our Naval Blockade ‘A WALL OF STEEL’ may have been the same imaginary friends who are always coming up to him with tears in his eyes and calling him “sir”. (3) The “president” of the United States using a sacred religious phrase as a taunt is, uh, really something.

Anyway, regardless of Trump’s lies (that the wingnut media echosystem of lying liars will amplify to the cultists) the reality in the Strait, as the Wall Street Journal puts it, “tells a different story: Ship-tracking data shows that just 14 vessels on Tuesday crossed a waterway that routinely handled more than 130 a day before the war. Eleven of those ships took the route administered by Iran.” Oy vey.

Besides hanging out with Natalie Sharp and coming up with idiocies like that to post on his phone, Trump was keeping it on the down-low today. Perusing the always hilarious “President’s Daily Schedule,” participating in “executive time” (watching Fox), “signing time” (playing with his Sharpie), and “policy meeting” (pissing and moaning at his advisors combined with them telling him whatever they think he wants to hear) filled the day. Damn, you’re exhausted just reading it, right?

Extra Credit:

The White House needs a new spokesliar! The insufferable nails-on-a-chalkboard-in-a-skin-suit Karoline Leavitt is leaving to spend more time with her kids. Leavitt just had her second child and it turns out having to take care of a baby and a toddler at home and another toddler at work was just too much. Or maybe she was using the kids as an excuse for being pissed that Trump left her on that decoy plane LOL.

Trump announced the news on his dumb personal social media site, praising her “phenomenal job fighting for Justice, Liberty, and Freedom” (Karoline Leavitt?? WTF??) and calling her, inevitably, “one of the best White House Press Secretaries in the History of the Office.” He says she’ll now be one of his top outside advisors. Good grief.

He could have used some of her always shrieking defense in response to a Washington Post exclusive today about how all of the ways that Trump is destroying and wrecking the White House are, according to confidential records the Post got a hold of, going to cost close to a billion dollars. Damn, son. Oh, and for the cherry on the shit sandwich, after more than a year of him blathering that it was all going to be covered by private donations, taxpayers will be on the hook for most of the $900 mil. The Post describes how, since the law – yeah, I know, quaint notion – states that Congress has to approve major changes to the White House and appropriate money for them, the regime has instead funneled money from various federal agencies into “a little-known account that typically holds a few million dollars for routine maintenance of the executive mansion.” This evil bastard really thinks it’s his house to tart up as much as he wants. It’s appalling.

Speaking of his ridiculous, totally unnecessary and mostly illegal White House ruinification projects the other day, the soon-to-be-departed Leavitt, you’ll recall, said that the ballroom, now known as a military installation and a drone port, is “really his number one priority,” but noted that “he’s a builder so his heart and his mind are always churning about how to improve things.” Couple of thoughts: (1) Apparently, if people who have the misfortune to be close to him have observed, there really is something always churning in there but it sounds like its south of the heart and the mind, and (2) No wonder he’s going to miss this loon. She’s as nuts as he is.

Thanks so much for reading and stay safe and healthy everyone!!! Remember we are not the crazy ones!!!