Three pithy aphorisms, one good takeaway
Critics are like eunuchs, they know it but they can’t do it. - Paul Bocuse
The Red Pill: discussion of sexual strategy in a culture increasingly lacking a positive identity for men. - The Sidebar
My problem isn’t necessarily with principles or morals or ethics in and of themselves, but rather men chumpishly clinging to them when in actuality they really had no other options to give themselves a wider perspective on what they believe. — Rollo Tomassi
In what world is a guy devoutly telling you to stop fucking a good thing? In what world is a spinster telling you that the worst thing in the world for you is to be the exact kind of man she encouraged for her whole life. In what world do people believe the stripper who says that they really like you?
This world, apparently.
I’ve given examples and been given examples as to why you shouldn’t red pill your friends. Most guys take that to mean they are some kind of lesser man who can’t handle the truth or will punish you for trying to help them out of their shitty marriage of desperation, which is true, but not what I’m after this time. I’m saying I wouldn’t red pill other people because they would try to sell me on their cargo cult bucket-life, and I don’t have the patience or stamina for it.
Frame, my second book, talks of the tetrahedron of frame, or 4 different tracks that help you gain, maintain, and foster Frame. Frame in this case is a metaphor for having an iron clad worldview that isn’t manipulatable from the outside, except for in your best interests. It’s a clunky explanation, but Frame is purposefully a hard to pin down concept. I write a lot of the intellectual pillar, a lot of others have expansive stuff on the physical pillar, but not much is out there on the emotional pillar. This is one of those rare ones.
I’m on a cut. My wife knows I’m on a cut. She’s decided that today is the day to deep fry Chile Rhillenos, to bake a cake, or to offer pizza because she’s too tired to cook or leaves gourmet Jellybeans in the kitchen. I can say no, and often do. But If you look at my cut in these moments, there’s always drag. I can’t always say no, and while guys can puff out there chest and say a real man would never let himself blah blah. The emotional pillar is about understanding your human failings.
The point is I know my limits. My limits are willpower. If I don’t want to eat something, I don’t buy something. If I do, it’s a matter of time before I eat the entire fucking thing. So I don’t buy things. As for the wifey? It’s not a boundary I’d kick her out over, but it’s a boundary I’ll yell over, or throw out food over. Does she get mad? Yes. Have I tried to explain to her what she’s doing and why? I used to. And it went about as well as you expected. She doesn’t know she’s doing it (or won’t admit if she does, but what’s the difference?)
I get the job done, but it’s harder than it has to be. And this is why you don’t redpill your friends. Are you able to be the big mean misogynist when you have friends take you aside and correct your behavior so that you can come to church on Sunday? If your wifes friends take her aside because they are worried about you, and what you said to Bill when he and Susan were having marital problems. Maybe you can, maybe you can’t. There is a drag though, which will have an effect, just like Jelly Beans in the cupboard eventually get eaten.
And this is all assuming:
1. You have your shit together (most evangelists don’t)
2. The other party wants to be saved (they never do)
3. You have no human failings that can be exploited (no one does)
Who needs the headache? Why spend a year or more working on developing the mental fortitude, physical and social skills to get a better sexlife (and possibly replaces the dead weight in your house) just to have to drag everyone else to some semblance of happiness while they are kicking and screaming the whole time? Why tempt yourself with those Jelly Beans when you don’t have to?
Which is why one of the most referenced and rehashed post in the Red Pill proper for a decade was Eunuchs of the Red Pill:
One of the biggest problems I face there is another one though:
Guys who downplay, shame or directly deny the importance of having uncommited sexual relationships with women in the process of unplugging. You’d think by the way they talk about it that spinning plates involved drowning puppies in the communion water.
I don’t care if it’s the guy who met his high school sweetheart, the guy whose church told him to hold out for a geriatric pregnancy with kid in tow, or some other brand of un-aspirational man. They bitch and moan like crabs in a bucket. Anything you do that helps you must be cheating. Don’t take drugs, don’t use TRT, you shouldn’t defile m’lady. It only underlines the need of somebody outright telling you:
>> You will never be fully unplugged, if you have not held a soft harem for an extended period of time and experienced true female nature first hand.
Nothing else will give you the same insights. Women lie to men they want to marry. They make them wait longer and pay more than guys who got their best. Sluts put out, good girls make guys wait. Same girl, different year. Women are honest with the guys who make them tingle.
There’s only two arguments, one for action and one for inaction. Almost no one argues for action. If you meet another guy making his way he generally wants to be in the loop.
“How did it go?” He will ask. “Man, that sucked.” He will say when it fails. “Man, I gotta do that one” When it succeeds, and “I tried this, did you?”
The arguments are over style and details, not over the premise. Premise arguments don’t even argue the premise. No one will come out and say that wanting to fuck a chick you barely know is horrible (thoguh some do) they will worm their way into attacking everything else but the actual issue. They will complain about STD’s, which aren’t a concern unless you’re joining gay orgies or smashing chicks with track marks behind a dumpster. They will complain about thier own women. Like my favorite cuationary tale Pat Stedman when he claimed “The red pill guys are ruining the women for the rest of us.”
It’s funny in that arguing against you, they have to reduce women to the role of agency-free fuck-object, but that’s a different point.
You chasing your mission, and chasing skirts while you’re on your mission, now involves dealing with other peoples shit. And it’s not even theirs. None of these people believe what they are saying. They hope you do so that you will do what they want. What, you think that woman really thinks chaste women are better? She was railed at the Waffle House that time in July, but she’ll never tell you that. The Sara Stock’s of the world will absolutely sit there, and with a straight face tell you that porn is the problem, look the Pope in the eye and take Mother Mary’s crown and place it on top her head, and then eat the ass of some B tier podcaster for a little blow and not see a problem with that.
This is who you are arguing with. This is who wants you to stop doing things and learning from them.
And it’s not that they hate you. People barely think about you, even the ones you love. Your mom doesn’t care about you, and she’s the one who cares the most about you. What she actually cares about is her asshole ex husband (you would call him dad) who treated her so horribly she gave him 2 kids and ten years, then left because she wasn’t haaapy getting everything she wanted. It’s the tone that he provided it you see. She doesn’t care about you, she just wants to contain the thing that made you possible, so that other women will never have it.
And those are the worst people. Not the haters. Haters are fine, they just want you to fail. It’s predictable and if you fall for it, you have no one to blame but yourself. It’s the ones who love you that you got to be careful about. I’m not a politics guy, but I find this example to be the best one I’ve ever seen.
You can fuck up, you can fuck up a lot. And so long as you’re not getting someone pregnant who shouldn’t be, or catching track mark diseases behind that dumpster, you’ll end up with a good lesson and a great story to tell later. Don’t let the neurosis, reflective regret, or hopeful sabotage of others drive you away from carving your own path.
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