You know what… there’s a kind of holding on that doesn’t look like holding on! You’ve deleted the messages, and you’ve told everyone you were done, and even you believed that shit. Then… out of nowhere, a song begins to play or the day goes wrong, and your thumb is already moving toward their name.
You’re not back together, but you haven’t let go either; you’ve just gotten better at holding on quietly…
Here’s what nobody actually tells you… Letting go is not one fucking decision… pardon my language… It’s Sunday… let me relax, but you think you make the choice once and it’s finished.. but you close that door Monday, then again Thursday, then again at 2 am when the missing gets extremely loud!
That’s not failure; that’s what releasing someone actually looks like… the lie is.. if I’d really ley go, they wouldnt cross my mind anymore but missing someone is not the same as needing them back. You can grieve a person and still know they were wrong for you…
THE SOLUTION….
Stop treating the memory of them like proof you made a mistake….
You will think about this person… accept it now… the goal was never to erase them… the goal is to stop letting the memory pull you backward into a life you already outgrew.
….when they cross your mind this week….
Notice it.. let it be there… then put the phone down before the missing turns into a mistake…
You don’t have to fight the feeling… You just have to stop obeying it…because you’re not choosing them; you’re choosing the familiar.. and familiar is not the same as right…
Maybe the Sunday solution is this…
I don’t have to stop missing them to keep choosing myself… I just have to stop letting the missing make my decisions!!!
You already did the brave part… you left them…now you just have to keep leaving, quietly, one ordinary day at a time…
And if you’re in that exact season, where letting go isn’t one choice but a daily one…
I made letting go for it. Twelve pieces on leaving and choosing yourself, built to live on your phone. So on the days the missing gets loud and your thumb drifts toward their name, the first thing you see is the reminder that leaving was the bravest thing you ever did.
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