On Creation and Consumption and how it pertains to Relationships

The Builder’s Curse

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January 14, 2025

There are two types of people in this world: those that create, and those that consume. They are not distributed evenly, the vast majority are consumers, and a small minority are builders. The builders are responsible for creating the vast majority of value in the world. They are the artists, the musicians, the …

I’ve written on this idea before but I bring it up again because it’s a primary motif in my life. It’s one of the main lenses through which I see the world through. Even moreso than good and evil, I see the world as divided into creation and consumption. Everyone has a different ratio of how much they create vs how much they consume, but the vast majority of people consume far more than they create. There are few that are true creators, those who create far more than they consume.

I want to be the latter, and envelop more of my life in creation over time. There is a certain moral worth to creation that consumption doesn’t have.

Now I don’t want to moralise things too much and worship at the altar of productivity. But generally I think creating is better than consuming. Providing things for the world and servicing other people is an admirable feat. Consumption is a necessary counterpart to creation, things would not exist if no one consumed them, but beyond that it’s hard to argue how consumption benefits anyone other than yourself. Rather, the goodness of consumption comes from the gratitude in ones heart towards the creator.

Creating is the fulfilment of consumption. All consumption exists to proliferate creation. Food is sustenance to enable humans to continue to survive and create. Learning is an excellent form of consumption which exists to create new, more complex things. It can become gratuitous if not actually applied. Creation is the point in which we truly engage with reality, no longer passively, but actively shaping it. It is when we are most alive.

For quite a while I’ve had the feeling of guilt when spending too much time with friends and have only now been able to articulate why.

Under my view of create/consume, relationships fall under consumption. I absolutely love relationships, and think they are one of the greatest things in the world, but they are still consumption and not creation. I do not wish to be gluttonous, even with something as wonderful as relationships. When spending time with friends I consciously feel that I’m digging into my consumption quotas. I don’t feel like I’ve earned the right to spend time with my friends unless I’ve spent a sufficient time creating. That is the reward for my hard work, and I must’nt partake in it prematurely.

I don’t believe spending time with others brings value unless there is another goal. This is why De-atomization is the Secret to Happiness and How to Live Near Your Friends have been so influential to how I live life. Because they turn socialising from purely consumptive, to incorporate acts of creation. In De-atomization, Nat Eliason talks about combining social time with the tasks you already have to do, such as exercising or eating. Rather than having isolated times for hanging out, and doing chores, you can combine them to make life more enjoyable and still get things done. And in How to Live Near Your Friends, Priya talks about how living near your friends naturally weaves connection into daily life as you go about creating.

It’s hard to actually define what is an act of creation vs what isn’t, there’s no strict algorithm for it, but I generally know it when I see it. It mostly revolves around creating value, but that’s subjective especially in the artistic side of things.

Here’s an incomplete list of what I consider as an act of creation:

• work - this is the main way most people create

• crafts

• meaningful conversations - I realise I am using meaningful as a tautology for valuable, but to be a bit more concrete, conversations which leave an impact. They change one or multiple people’s perspectives, on life, each other, the world.

• creating music (as opposed to listening to music)

• hosting events - this is different to just hanging out because it’s about creating an experience

• exercise - this is a bit more ambiguous but I do think it counts because you’re creating a healthy body

• art forms of any kind - can be things like dance, flower arrangement, making videos

• cooking

• worship

• writing - I couldn’t leave this one out, this is one of my favourites!

• teaching

• creating beauty - creating beauty in the world such as via art or architecture is obviously creation, but making oneself beautiful is something that I have recently come to view as an act of creation. I have previously thought of it as self serving (aka consumption), and it definitely still can be, but now I see how it can be like art
  

Personally, these are the main activities that I participate in the act of creation with:

• software development - both for work and for fun

• playing the piano

• writing

• hosting events

• going to the gym

• bouldering

• fashion design - see Open Carry Plush Toy

My solution to achieving time spent in relationship without sacrificing creation is to combine the two activities together. So friends, if you would like to engage in the act of creation with me, by all means, reach out! I’d be more than delighted. I’m open to all my creative acts being done in relationship with others, and I think that is what the ideal life looks like. One where you’re able to create wonderful things and do so with those you love. Creating is often an isolating activity, and in many cases requires isolation to create the best work. That’s why I think it’s so important to involve others with you wherever possible.

I do also think sharing your work is an important step of the creative process, in some ways creation is not complete until it is shared with the world. That’s why I hold so much regard for content creators, because of how they go above and beyond to share their creations.