Freedom of Speech Part II

One snowy November morning, my beloved niece Leonore Van Ziel tore our cozy New Hampshire home apart searching for her “hand shoes.”

At the time, English was her second language, and I didn’t know much Dutch. But I knew enough from my Italian-American childhood that people – all people – for whom English is not their native tongue tend to literally translate whatever it is that they’re trying to say directly from their language into English. Word for word.

So, I thought for a moment - “hand shoes....”

“You know,” she said. “Those things you put on your hands when it’s cold outside?”

“Ah,” I replied. “Gloves.”

“That’s it!” she exclaimed her eyes wide. “Gloves!”

Oh, thank God. Yet another linguistic mystery solved.

Years later I had no idea that more linguistic mysteries lay ahead for me. And most of them had nothing to do with second language English.

Here are some of them -

I’m in -

In where? The bathroom? The kitchen?

Or

Up to your ears? Your eyeballs? Over your head?

Or

Like Flynn? Never mind.

Where you at?

It’s almost exclusively Chicagoese, but lots of other people in the Midwest ask that question at one time or another too.

Everybody regardless of race, religion or national origin asks the question. Rich or poor, educated or un, most people ask that question including my pal Herman who really was a rocket scientist.

Come with -

What? A cake? Your sister? Your aunt’s dog?

Also Chicagoese, it can be a question as in “Can I come with?” or a statement as in “I’m coming with.” Either way it has to do with some location or other.

Wicked -

Not Chicagoese, but a New England exclamation.

A thing could be “Wicked Good” or “Wicked Bad,” “Wicked Hot or Wicked Cold.”

In any case it has nothing whatsoever to do with the seven deadly sins.

On you -

Like ketchup? As the person at the bottom or the mosh pit?

Also, not Chicagoese, it can be an expression of congratulations such as “Good on you” - kinda like “Good for you” without the possible connection to green vegetables, or a placement of blame such as “It’s on you.”

Either way it is not as my Aunt Lydia would say “Proper use of the English language.”

Sort of like when Rita Van Lier wanted to let the real estate agent know that she was not in the market for a condominium.

Use your imagination.