Pivoting, In More Ways Than One

(This was written in 15 minutes in between making lunch for 7 people, getting the baby down for a nap, and prepping dinner. I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if the entire thing is a grammatical nightmare. Apologies.)

As many of you know, our eldest daughter started college on Monday. We went from over a decade of us spending each day together to her now running out of the house with a pantsuit on and coffee in hand by 7:45 a.m., and not returning until around 8:30 p.m. Thankfully, this is orientation week, so it’s filled to the brim, and her normal day-to-day schedule won’t be as packed…but still. It’s a huge change. I underestimated how much I would miss her just being in the kitchen or us laughing together about random things. She isn’t just my daughter; she’s become my friend. Professionally speaking, she's been my work assistant for the last 11 months, and I hadn’t realized how much help she gave me. My mental load decreased; I could write more, and my daily work to-do list shrank. I had desperately needed some help, and she stepped in at just the right time. That has all changed in a matter of days.

I have found myself melancholy because I desperately miss my daughter, joyful at what she is on the cusp of, and coming to terms with the fact that I am, once again, running this show on my own. It’s a season of change, and I’m grateful to the Lord for it, but also feeling unmoored.

I also believe it’s a time of profound change in our country, in our culture, and in journalism. Everything feels somewhat malleable, as if something is shifting below us. Political parties are crumbling, new revolutions are rising, institutions are crumbling and being replaced, machines are growing in power and ability, humans are revealing themselves to be almost completely automated in their responses, and trusted sources are continually exposed as fraudulent.

I often find myself sitting on my couch and pondering, “What do I add here?” Sure, I serve as a news source to many, and I appreciate that loyalty. But there are many voices out there- a roaring sea, in fact- and I don’t want to add to the noise. I want to offer something deeper that pulls people toward something real that they can hold on to in moments of darkness and difficulty. If I’m simply sharing the same headlines that everyone else is, I’m not sure that I’ll be fulfilling what I sense the Lord has for me…What He desires of me.

Practically speaking, I’m realizing that the quip I have been working at will be virtually impossible for me to maintain. Having my daughter help me has allowed me to post daily updates, write more comprehensive pieces, post on IG, run campaigns, source material, dive deeper into topics, and more. I’m evaluating what you, my loyal reader, will benefit most from. Sure, daily headline updates are important, sure. But I also desperately want to offer you more than just regurgitation of what you can easily find elsewhere. Something for you to ponder and pray about.

Essentially, what I’m saying is that I’m in a season of change, both personally and professionally. I’m not going anywhere, but I am pivoting. I feel the weight of not wanting to waste your time (or finances, if you are a paid subscriber), so I am prayerfully considering how the Lord wants me to show up here.

This space means a great deal to me. Heck, the IG space means something to me, too. The Lord has allowed me a platform, and it’s because of you that I’m able to do this work. I never, ever take that for granted and am seeking His wisdom on how I can most effectively be His ambassador where He has placed me.

They say that patience is a virtue, and I'm really trying to cultivate it moving into this new season. I don’t know what the Lord has for me, but I’m anxious to find out. And I’m filled with gratitude that you are along for the ride.

- Rachel