getting dressed in a heatwave at six months pregnant

I've long preferred (on the record1, even!) to be perceived and evaluated on the aspects of my appearance I choose—like my clothing—rather than the ones I can't control, like the shape of my body. This is a relatively easy way to move throughout the world as someone in a straight-size body. I reveal what I want to reveal; my choice of clothing usually registers more immediately than anything about the shape of my body. One could imagine, therefore, that I might not be someone who enjoys the experience of being visibly pregnant!

When I first got engaged, I was uncomfortable using the word fiancé, felt the conspicuous presence of my engagement ring without an accompanying wedding band—there’s temporal data there, some information about a recent change in your life that an aspect of your appearance gets to reveal before you do. A visible pregnant belly does the same thing as a gold band with a solitaire diamond on a ring finger, but on a much more obvious, permanent, and unavoidable scale. It says, this is something that is actively happening in my life. I am in a moment of transition. Given my stated preferences above—and being that I am both stubborn and choosy about when and to whom I reveal information—that is my personal nightmare!!! So for as long as I could, I refused to wear anything that revealed my pregnancy.

I made it about six months in before I had no choice. At that point, most of my jeans were no longer buttoning over my bump. This was right around the time I was packing up all of my clothing to move, as well as when the weather made a definitive shift into summer. And then I moved, only had about two suitcases worth of clothes easily accessible, and temporarily misplaced all of my summer shoes except for my brown Salomons and olive green Birkenstocks (hence their prominent featuring in the outfits above). All of a sudden, my options had narrowed! Whether or not my pregnancy is apparent in my day-to-day life is now much less up to me.

I’m new to dressing a pregnant body, and I have it relatively easy work-wise, as I only see clients on Zoom. So my pregnancy style may not be relevant to anyone who goes into an office for work/has to adhere to a strict dress code. It also probably won’t be useful to anyone whose second and third trimesters fall during autumn and winter. But hopefully this is a fun jumping-off point for anyone who needs or wants some pregnancy dressing inspiration, and maybe a catalyst to experiment with changing up silhouettes even if you aren’t pregnant!

Some personal findings so far from this past month…

A silhouette that works: the lower the rise, the tighter the t-shirt (and make use of drawstrings + elastic waistbands!)

The lower the rise, the better the bottoms are suited to pregnancy dressing. For the most part, my lower-waisted pants with elastic and drawstring waists are still holding on (though I’ve purchased a couple duplicate items in the next size up). And I’m finding it easier/more natural to pair these bottoms with tighter t-shirts. Earlier on in pregnancy, my preferred silhouette (oversized/boxy shirts) was working, but at this point a tighter t-shirt usually feels more natural.

Sizing up.

As solsticecrown commented on my previous post (it seemed to resonate, as a lot of people liked the comment!), “Personally I found the fashion narrative “you don’t need maternity clothes just buy the next size up” to be bullshit because a pregnant body is actually a very specific shape that’s not just “bigger.” A pair of shorts/pants that actually fit can be a huge relief!” I agree—pregnancy creates a uniquely different silhouette, and sizing up is absolutely not going to solve all of your problems. However, it’s been liberating to experiment with different sizes. The bigger the bump, the less relevant some of this becomes, but buying one to four sizes up in some silhouettes I already own and know work for me (Agolde Luna jeans, Needles HD BDU cargo pants, GAP barrel leg drawstring waist pants, etc.) has let me continue to feel connected to my wardrobe and sense of style rather than fruitlessly trying out lots of new items. For the most part, I’ve been able to find these items secondhand—the RealReal for Agolde, Grailed for Needles, and Poshmark for GAP.

FYI, I didn’t include any of those sizing-up purchases in my monthly roundups this year because I wasn’t ready to talk pregnancy yet, but if you are curious about what I’ve spent the most on during pregnancy, it is NOT clothes. My medical expenses alone (for what has been a relatively uncomplicated pregnancy) are at $5,400 six months in because Oscar, the New York State marketplace insurance for which I paid $923 a month (yes, in addition to that $5,400 I already mentioned), did not consider ultrasounds ‘preventive’ and therefore did not cover a single one!!!!!!!!!! May we all see another system prevail within our lifetimes.

A cartoonishly oversized t-shirt and midi skirt is the best way to comfortably hide a pregnancy in a heatwave.

This is a combo I only discovered I liked on myself last summer after my successful search for a midi/maxi skirt, and I’m glad I don’t have to give it up quite yet. Big t-shirt and midi skirt is a good ‘not quite ready to read as pregnant’ outfit, and was a savior during the East Coast triple-digit heatwave—as little touching my body as possible, but still covered up. The t-shirt has to hang in a very specific way, though; it’s something I can’t explain, but you will know just by how it feels on you. If you want to experiment with this look, I suggest trying on the t-shirts you sleep in to see if any of them fit the way you want, then using those measurements to search eBay for ones with similar proportions.

This is a great stage of life to take advantage of clothing rental platforms.

I recently rejoined Rent the Runway, and I’m glad to be back! Since a lot of the pants I already wear and love were purchased from Rent the Runway, it’s been useful for continuity’s sake to be able to rent them in bigger sizes (like these Apiece Apart pants on the right, which I own in black in a much smaller size and am renting in this cool olive color). The shirt on the left, a Sea NY X RTR collab, isn’t exactly my style but I thought the silhouette would work well at this stage in my pregnancy (a little floaty, cropped just enough, provides some feminine contrast with a cargo pant), and I was right.

Some things that haven’t worked for me (at least not yet):

Really bump-conscious dresses: I think these are so cute on other people, but it’s already a departure from my normal style, and during the summer I’m even less compelled to wear something really tight and body-hugging. Maybe if I were pregnant in the winter I’d feel more compelled to experiment with this silhouette.

An open button-down shirt anchored by one button to cover the bra: Again, a really cute look on other people, but I think maybe my button-downs are too oversized, or I’m not far enough along for it to look the same way on me. I will be trying this again in a month or two!

Peasanty/Hill House-vibe sundresses: I feel too tradwife-y with a baby bump to wear these even though, again (say it with me), I think these are so cute on other people. If I had more tattoos or bleach blonde hair, something to counteract that sweetness, I’d be more open to trying this silhouette.

Cute strappy tank tops: Still dealing with that pesky chest and back acne from going off of spironolactone pre-pregnancy!!! So I never know if I’ll feel comfortable in something as revealing as this, which is a bummer. Might rent a top that falls into this category just to have an option if my skin is unexpectedly clear one day.

Pregnancy has been relatively easy on my body thus far2 (hoping I haven’t just jinxed the third trimester by saying so), and maybe because of that, I’ve felt somewhat removed from the physical reality of it. I’d wondered whether the practice of getting dressed while pregnant might help me feel more connected to what was happening, more embodied, but it hasn’t, at least not yet.

What it has done, sartorially (in conjunction with the simultaneous wardrobe contraction of moving and the arrival of summer), is provide a useful exercise in settling: finding a slightly newer version of myself rather than a complete reinvention, learning how to feel okay in that version, knowing I’ll probably feel and look different next month, or even next week. Getting dressed in a pregnant body has made me feel slightly more comfortable living in transition—even if I’m still not always comfortable revealing that transition. But for me, that’s progress!

(Pregnancy has also caused me to desire more impractical clothing, an impulse I’ve been able to control for the most part. But I’ll save that for the next pregnancy-related post—as well as some of the other people and characters whose pregnancy style has inspired me… move over, Usha Vance!)