The Urge to Stay Busy

Is the pressure to stay busy wearing you down?

A friend recently retired and I’ve watched him struggle with something I see in many retirees. He’s trying to fill every available hour with activities, appointments, projects, and commitments. It made me wonder why so many of us feel uncomfortable with empty space after retirement.

Nobody is telling us what to do? But so many are trying to fill their calendars. They are worried that next Wednesday afternoon is free. They stress about finding something to do. It made me wonder where this urgency comes from. Why is there a frantic need to be busy? There is no race or competition.

Throughout our working life we were rewarded for being productive, useful and responsible. We were busy right up to the end and this was compensated with promotions and salary increases.

But now in retirement no one cares how busy we are. This is a huge adjustment. Busy feels familiar. For many of us, it has been our identity for decades. People seem to fill their calendars because it reassures them that they are still useful and productive.

It isn’t about staying busy that is the challenge in retirement. It’s the challenge of doing nothing, or being selective and not doing things for the sake of doing something.

Retirement is when we can do what we want to do, after decades of doing what we were told to do in our jobs. This transition is difficult for many. With no schedules, deliverables and deadlines, slowing down takes time. Not just turning off the due date stopwatch, but to figure out what you truly want to be doing.

The idea of 9-5 or whatever schedule you used to have, is out the window. You can still wake up early and go to bed by 10. You can also go to bed at 8 and wake up at 6. Or turn out your light at 1 am and wake up at noon. It doesn’t matter. It’s up to you.

Many settle quickly into retirement. They have hobbies and interests that they can focus on. But that’s not everyone.

Most people are a bit out of sorts at first. Their body is still in work mode. They are up early, ready to go. But with nowhere to go, it can be heavy and often depressing. Negative thoughts creep in. People begin to question their purpose and usefulness.

Retirement isn’t a reflection of abilities or performance. It’s age-based, or due to buyouts, layoffs, or company downsizing. It isn’t a bad thing, not at all. It’s an opportunity to pick and choose what you want to do. Find interests, explore passions, seek out new friends, and find a lifestyle that suits.

Rushing around trying to stay busy can make it all more difficult. If you are doing things for the sake of doing something, you won’t feel good about it. You won’t feel useful and productive. You might feel used and abused. Not a good feeling, not at all.

Retirement is something to ease into, to figure out. Just because you had a hobby years ago, it doesn’t mean that you should pick it up again. You can, but only if it feels right.

Retirement is the opportunity, yes, opportunity to do nothing, or to explore and try new things. Whether it’s a sport, a hobby, travel or maybe a volunteer role, you can test the waters. Start something and if it feels good, get more into it. If it doesn’t, try something else.

You can now jump into what you’ve always wanted to do, but work got in the way. It doesn’t mean you’ll enjoy your time. But you’ll finally find out if it works for you. And if it doesn’t work out, that’s okay. At least you know and can look around at other possibilities.

So many dream of having nothing to do, especially when they are swamped with work and obligations. They imagine how good it would be to laze in bed till noon, to flop on the sofa all afternoon and dive into a good book and then watch movies into the wee hours. So why do retirees feel guilty about being able to indulge in their guilty pleasures?

As with too much of anything, doing very little could get boring. But if it was a few days a week, it might be the cat’s ass!

Retirement means we don’t have to submit monthly reports or complete a checklist of tasks each week. There is no judgement, and no monitoring of what we do. We aren’t being watched and no one is making notes about our behaviour.

Retirement isn’t a job. There are no deliverables, no expectations, and no requirements. Whether we do something well or not at all, doesn’t matter to anyone but ourselves.

It takes time to let it go. It can be unnerving, uncomfortable, and stressful to do nothing. It might feel decadent to immerse yourself in a hobby, but it shouldn’t.

Perhaps the challenge of retirement isn’t filling our time. Rather it’s becoming comfortable with having a choice about how we spend it.

There is no rush to figure it out. Simply let it happen.

Please share this article with friends or family who may be struggling with the transition to retirement. Sometimes it helps to know you're not alone, and that it's okay to slow down and figure things out in your own time.

And now a fun short piece I wrote yesterday

After six months away, you might expect a lot of changes. But this is Ottawa, and things tend to move slowly. That’s part of its character.

Most changes happen gradually and often go unnoticed. Being away for half a year means those small shifts stand out when I return. They aren’t changes to the city itself, nor are they political or environmental. They are changes in people and their habits. And surprisingly, many seem to be for the better.

As I work through my jet lag and adjust to the time difference, a few things have caught my attention. Nothing dramatic. Just small observations that have made me smile.

Ottawa has hundreds of kilometres of pathways, and I walk them almost every day. They are one of the things I love most about spending summers here.

This year they seem much busier. There are more people walking, cycling, sitting on benches, and meeting friends. Most are adults, many of them retired. It’s encouraging to see so many people outside enjoying fresh air and exercise.

There also seem to be more Canada geese than ever. Along my regular route beside the Ottawa River, they are everywhere. Like old neighbours, they’ve returned for the summer too. This year there are plenty of fluffy young goslings nibbling on the grass while walkers and cyclists carefully make their way around them. Most people stop for a photo or two. It feels very Canadian.

Two things stand out in Ottawa’s grocery stores this year.

The first is the growing selection of healthy foods. Grains, seeds, organic produce, and dairy alternatives are no longer tucked away in a hard-to-find specialty section. They are found with similar products, so easy to find and part of the regular shopping experience.

The second is the variety of freshly prepared meals. Stores have moved well beyond pizza slices and sandwiches. Hot counters offer roast chicken, vegetables, salads, pasta dishes, and other ready-made meals. For people who live alone, or simply don’t feel like cooking every day, it’s a practical and very welcomed option.

Second-hand shops seem to be everywhere.

Some are large stores operated by major charities, while others are smaller independent shops with names like “Second Life” or “New Treasures.” Whatever they call themselves, they are busy.

The range of items is remarkable. Clothing, household goods, tools, construction materials, toys, and collectibles all find a second home. What was once a niche way to shop now feels much more mainstream.

Another thing I’ve noticed is how many people carry water bottles.

It used to be mostly athletes and health enthusiasts. Now it seems to be everyone. Water bottles are tucked into backpacks, clipped to bags, carried by hand, and sitting beside people on park benches.

They come in every size, shape, and colour imaginable. Staying hydrated appears to have become a habit rather than a health trend.

Perhaps related to the water bottle phenomenon is the growing number of water refill stations throughout the city.

Traditional drinking fountains have largely disappeared over the years, but refill stations seem to be popping up everywhere. It’s a simple change, but a useful one. Having easy access to free drinking water makes carrying a reusable bottle much more practical.

* * * * * * * *

None of these observations are particularly important in the grand scheme of things. Yet they are the kinds of small changes that make everyday life a little better.

As someone returning for the summer, they have made Ottawa feel welcoming, healthy, and easy to enjoy.

Have you noticed any changes where you live? And if so, are they for the better?

In my next Substack, on June 26th, I'll return to my Seasons Series with an article on Summer. The seasons arrive each year on schedule, but our experience of them changes. Summer 2026 feels different from summers past, and I'll explore some of the reasons why.

Until then, it’s all good!