Six Gentle Ways to Support Yourself When You Feel Overwhelmed and Need to Reset

This weekend I noticed myself feeling overwhelmed, a mixture of supporting two friends going through a fall out, filing my taxes, the food shop amounting to four days of meals but costing me what felt like it should be two weeks worth of food, juggling playdates, kid’s activities and listening to the news, with reporting on ICE to Palestine landing heavy in my body. Well there was a moment on Sunday afternoon, when the overwhelm arrived – it’s not something I experience often but when I do my whole body experiences it.

Everything feels heavier, slower and harder to hold, I notice that I’m on the verge of tears, the solutions that are usually fast to form shape stay hidden behind fear, worry and a variety of other feelings that leave me feeling melancholy.

What I want are ways to come back to myself, almost like a factory reset, back to joy, excitement and a sense of choice. I know overwhelm is not a personal failure, instead a sign that it’s time to stop, even for a moment and check in with ourselves. We’ll find that what is present, are all the things we have been carrying for too long. What we need then is not fixing, but softening. Not control, but connection.

These are six ways I support myself when I need to release pain, heaviness and all the burdens I’m carrying.

First, I let myself cry. I know that for some, crying is seen as a weakness (boys don’t cry….) or framed as ‘neurotic’ - usually directed at women. But, it’s one of the most natural ways the nervous system releases tension. For me crying brings such a relief, and it might be after some sad news, or even due to frustration, even as a response to pleasure, crying regulates me when I feel stressed. We often try to suppress tears or explain them away, but they do not need justification. When I allow myself to cry without trying to be stoic or push them down, there is a deep release, the tightness I may have felt in my chest or the pain in my back loosens. I’m able to suddenly have a wider perspective and sense of agency again.

Second, I shake my body. Overwhelm, stress, grief, anxiety, often leaves us frozen or collapsed, with shaking the body it allows some of those feelings to dissipate. I’ll start by gently shaking my arms, legs and the rest of the body will follow, as I move from bouncing gently to more intense movement. Then I stop. I notice the energy returning to my body – that I’m not stuck! This is something I love doing with my kids, we’ll shake in the kitchen whilst listening to music and in those couple of minutes our bodies collectively release all that has been weighing on us. Not only do we feel lighter and connected to each other but even the air in the room has shifted.

Third, I release anger safely. Overwhelm often carries unexpressed frustration or powerlessness. When that energy stays trapped, it can turn into anxiety or self-criticism. I sometimes punch a pillow, scream into it, or push firmly against a wall. These actions are not about aggression. They are about allowing anger/ rage to move through the body, so I’m not consumed by it. This practice, allows me to evacuate these feelings, whilst necessary and emotions I welcome, in a way that isn’t an eruption and dysregulating to my nervous system.

Fourth, I write in my journal or record a voice memo on my phone. The writing and words spoken aren’t a retelling of my day, instead they push me to go deeper, into the depths of myself that I don’t always share with others. I don’t edit what I write or say, it’s allowed to evolve and be messy, emotional and unstructured. I’m not necessarily trying to gain insight or have a clear plan but be witnessed. When my inner world has somewhere to go, it no longer has to hold everything inside.

Fifth, I create a boundary around rumination and phone checking. When I feel overwhelmed, I notice an urge to re-read messages, scroll endlessly, or seek reassurance through information. These habits rarely soothe me. Instead, I set a gentle boundary, such as not checking my phone for twenty minutes or postponing a difficult thought until later. This is not avoidance. It is choosing to regulate my nervous system before engaging my mind. I’m giving myself permission to focus on something else and space to do the things that allow me to feel better, rather than spiral into a feeling or thought.

Sixth, I adjust my body posture. Overwhelm often shows up physically as a collapsed chest, rounded shoulders, and lowered head. I counter this by standing up, pressing my feet into the floor, rolling my shoulders back, and lifting my gaze. Sometimes I simply look around the room and remind myself where I am. Posture is not just about appearance; it directly influences how safe and capable we feel in our bodies.

Resetting does not mean becoming instantly calm or positive. It means becoming reachable again. Reachable to ourselves, to our bodies, and to the present moment.

We do not need to do all six of these. Often one is enough to create a small shift. And sometimes the most compassionate thing we can say is, “Of course I feel like this. Something in me is asking for care.”