Here Comes the Sun...

When I was 3 weeks old, my parents took me on a camping trip with their friends. On the car ride home, I was in the back seat and they assumed that the sun wouldn’t burn me through the closed car window.

It did.

It seems like the sun has had a personal beef with me from the get-go.

Our relationship is complicated.

I love sunny days, but at the same time, I am always wary about getting a sunburn.

One of the worst burns that I remember was when I was 11 years old, visiting family in NY. We went to the beach and I didn’t put sunscreen on the tops of my feet. I paid the price with a wicked scorch that caused painful sun blisters.

It hurt so much to walk, I had to crawl around on my knees to get around at my grandmother’s house the next day.

Most of the sunburns in my youth happened at water parks and beaches, but it seemed like I was capable of getting red anywhere, at any point in the day… no matter how unlikely.

At times, it felt like I could have had my own act in a traveling circus sideshow.

When most people describe their dream vacations, it usually involves laying out and relaxing in the sun. For me, that just seems like a reckless, dangerous game of chicken with the sun.

As an adult, I have been pretty good about putting sunscreen on and I’m usually the guy that is carrying some with me in case you need it.

It’s sad when I get delusional and think that I might be able to tan.

One day in my early 20s, I was shooting hoops at a park. Nobody was around, so I thought, maybe I’ll try to get some color on my pale white canvas.

So, I took my shirt off.

30 seconds later, a pickup truck came driving down the road.

The driver angrily yelled four words at me.

Then he drove away.

What the hell?

I can’t win.

People give me crap for being pale and then when I try to do something about it, I instantly get busted by the Pale Patrol.

At one point, when the Twilight vampire craze was happening, I naively thought maybe being pale will become popular…

Nope. I still got called the same names I always got called for being pale…

I’ve been shaving my head since 2009. So far, (thanks to hats and sunscreen) I have not gotten it sunburned and I’m proud of that feat.

The sun can’t possibly be happy about my accomplishment.

Maybe some day, the sun will end its grudge with me. Until that happens, I will continue to fight the good fight with my sunscreen.

Be safe out there,
Patrick

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