Do I need to have "found it" and then teach the complete thing?

When I started my substack blogs with the possibility of a multiplicity of different blogs (=audiences and themes) I felt like creating one just for sharing about my person with all its versatility. My journey, for those who want to participate and possibly support me by doing so. I wanted to share on a weekly or minimum bi-weekly basis.

And then I realized: it was difficult. It was much easier to send out a post about photographic nude art in MaleBodyPoetry or to share my clarity and guidance for a sex-positive brotherhood in FreeGuyz or about Mystery Schools in Κυκεών (Kukeon) - then to write about myself. It always felt like turning into teaching. And I love teaching. But honestly sharing about myself is not teaching because the biggest part of what moves me is not what I can already teach, share, form others with - but the incomplete, the searching. Work in progress.

As I am writing, it’s now 2:29 am in Germany, I had a beautiful night with a friend where we shared in a radically open way (even sexually open, not acting towards one another - he wouldn’t identify as gay - but supporting each other for what we deeply desire, which is very different), and now I am sitting here on my computer, he went to sleep and I am writing this to you.

I want to dare to be incomplete. Incomplete amongst you, those who want to receive from me. And I choose to trust in what I theoretically know - that the biggest learning for others can come from my still being at the point of learning and “not knowing yet”. For me this takes courage. I have no problem to share my problems, no. I have no problem to be vulnerable. But believing that I can support others with it? I guess I am learning it now. There are many beautiful pictures of me, my body, my devotion and they are certainly authentic. But there are few pictures where I am crying. I couldn’t find one to add it to this post.

Let me share a few more intimate details with the beloved humans who have decided to support me in this journey by subscribing to a paid membership and by directing their interest towards my journey. And it’s totally fine if this is not what you feel interested in, then please check out my 3 other publications (blogs) which are again:

• MaleBodyPoetry - post about photographic nude art (often self portraiture)

• FreeGuyz - a sex-positive brotherhood of men of all orientations

• Κυκεών (Kukeon) - Spirituality and the Mystery Schools

But for you others, let me share this very personal and confidential thing about my journey. (If you really would like access to it and cannot afford, let me know by DM)