Failed to consume the recommended daily four oceans’ worth of water.
Camels making fun of you again.
Primary care provider slapped a can of delicious Dr Pepper out of your hand — “Flavorless and lukewarm ONLY!”
Too busy putting Lynda Carter as Wonder Woman stickers on your water bottle to actually drink from it.
Made it through a whole workday without having to pee — immediately turned to dust as Kansas’ “Dust in the Wind” plays.
FINNEY’S 5 is an occasional humor column by exiled newspaperman Daniel P. Finney that is not meant to be taken seriously. If you did, stop it. Sine sale, gravis nimis.
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