The Quarterly Review

Hey everyone, ottotune here.

Welcome to the second edition of The 2026 Quarterly Review.

As a reminder: The Quarterly Reviews will now be available to all subscribers and contain the week’s OLR and the seasonal 30 for Under-30 Playlist. For this Second Edition, we also have a Top 5 Albums of the year so far!

This is the twenty-fifth post of a column that has been around in different permutations for the past few years: what started as a way to flirt with my fiancé is now a flagship music column. What a world! WE ARE HALFWAY THERE, BABY!!!

The rules are the same: he will type out his gut reactions to each song, and I will post them here! I won’t edit his reactions at all… once the album is over, pens down, writing stops. I will be listening to the album as I edit this post :)

From dramafriend: ‘My gay stream of consiousness’

To be crystal clear: everything this section and the Under 30 playlist is all Dramafriend!

Speaking of: if you find yourself in Los Angeles next week, check out their party, FRUIT, happening on Saturday, July 11th!

And here is cheeky, sneaky preview of their set for said party ;)

ottotune signing off!

I was 14 when Madonna dropped Confessions on a Dancefloor and changed my life. The album featured one of the best pop singles I had ever heard (“Hung Up”), utilized seamless transitions and pulled in influences from all different types of dance music, specifically Arabic House. It got me into dance music, turned me into a Madonna stan, and is an album I listen to in full at least once a month. When Madonna began teasing a sequel album almost two years ago, I was a bit skeptical. How could she ever replicate the energy of such an important album in her varied discography? What would a Confessions sequel sound like in 2026? Could it matter nearly as much as the original?

Today, it’s time to find out.

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I Feel So Free

“I can be whoever I want to be; create a new persona” is the Madonna manifesto

“Oh by the way it all started like this” is someone only Madonna can put on an opening track, actually

Arca brought the heat here on the production. I can tell Stuart Price (insert crown) wasn’t alone making this, particularly at the 4 minute mark

This song manages to be repetitive and not boring and that’s the hallmark of a perfect dance song

This is how you start a dance album: you pulse something, you talk your shit, and then you let it rip

Good For The Soul

The transition isn’t as infectious as the transitions on the original Confessions but we’re gonna assume they’ll improve throughout the album

You could tell me this beat is a leftover from the original COADF and I’d believe you

Strings!!! Very Confessions coded

Her candor here is a bit too leaned back for track two but the beat is propulsive

Actually have no clue why this is track 2

More vocoder please!

One Step Away

I just don’t understand why we didn’t connect the last song to this song through a great transition that didn’t let the energy drop?

Okay more spoken intros

This beat is really great

Bedtime Stories melodies !!

You have to understand it’s been a long time since Madonna really sang

Tracklist is confusing me so far — why are these mid tempos sitting at the top of this record?

Soaring vocals on a Madonna album in 2026? Actually groundbreaking

This one is a bit forgettable for how many good things are actually happening

Bring Me Your Love (feat. Sabrina Carpenter)

I am still underwhelmed by these transitions

This song as a single was a skip but within the walls of the album it’s actually an injection of energy that’s very nice

Sabrina maybe should make a dance record. MAYBE.

This song must be going multi platinum in spin studios

“I have a confession” is so camp you kinda have to throw ass

Danceteria

Okay first REAL transition and I am alive

Immediately this is hitting differently

OKAY WE ARE SO BACK

Andrew Watt and Cirkut thank you for your service to the gay community

Prechorus has me levitating

Maybe Madonna has an actual 2026 hit on her hands with this

Second verse is immaculate flow

“He’s a DJ, hide the cocaine” got a laugh from me. Talk your shit Madonna!

This is deeeeeeply infectious

Vogue Pt2 bridge?! Holy wow

RIP LOU REED OMFG

ARE YOU KIDDING WITH THIS BEAT DROP??????!!!!!!

Instant Madonna classic

Read My Lips (feat. Feid)

Acoustic guitar as a nod back to “Isaac” on the original COADF is cute

Madonna’s obsession with Latinx culture over the last decade must be examined

Lyrics here are speaking to me

Horns?! I swear to fucking god…

This Feid feature is doing nothing for this song sorry not sorry

This song is probably a grower but I don’t know if I needed all that

Everything

Okay now we’re back in the actual club

Bury me with Stuart Price’s vocoder tbh

Just straight beat drop? Okay sure

I like that she sounds a bit cruel here

So much of this song is giving “Impressive Instant”

Suddenly we’re at EDC??

And now the acoustic guitar is back? GIVE US EVERYTHING!

This song has a great hook but it’s prioritizing the beat drop and that’s a choice I would not have made

Parisi’s production here is quite good but feels less like a nightclub and more like a festival (derogatory)

Love Sensation

Best written verses yet

The melody is the same as “Bring Your Love” but this is the better song

“There’s nothing that we can not do” is anthemic in a way that works for me

Production under second verse is fabulous

Definitely top 3 so far

This probably feels the most like the original COADF

Thank you, this is the sound I was promised

Love Without Words

The way “call it trance” sounds like “call it trans” OKAY ALLY

The bleeps and boops in the instrumentation are distracting because they are sitting in the middle of the mix.

This is danceable and groovy

I like the melody quite a bit actually

Woah breakdown

“Come to the club” is hot

Don’t fuck this up, Madonna

The mix of this final drop feels just a tad muted — I can hear all the right pieces are there… kinda frustrating but this song still goes hard

Bizarre (feat. Martin Garrix)

This really could go either way but this album needs an undeniable smash right now

Okay okay okayyyyy build it and control it

These verses are deeply energetic

This song has me in the club inside my brain and I’m loving it there

Second verse ends a bit abruptly? What happened there?

This energy is exactly what we needed here

Okay so here is how you fold in big tent EDM into a song without taking me out of it

Martin Garrix has always been one of the more underrated EDM boys

Huge final chorus! Yes!

Yes melodies!! Cmon!!

I am surprised this song ended up being a highlight but maybe I should’ve never doubted Martin Garrix

School

I have given up on the transitions at this point

Truly treacherous song title

This beat is fierce and crazy and I’m obsessed

School is in session!

This flow is very similar to “Danceteria”

This is genuinely interesting

It’s giving Video Interlude for the tour (complimentary)

Vocoder is so so so necessary in the world of COADF and this song is the best it’s been all album

This is going on a tad too long but the production is so cool I don’t think I really mind?

Final drop is fabulous. Turn the strobe lights on and let’s grind.

Fragile

The amount of talking Madonna is doing on this album is immense. Spoken word album Grammy confirmed.

Breakbeats? Okay sure why not

I think this is one of the songs about her deceased estranged brother??

“You had a nervous breakdown” omg spill it

This song is unfortunately a perfect example of how Madonna’s discography has sounded for the last fifteen years: moments where you can hear the potentially genius vision but the execution feels strangely cold and empty

But she also sounds genuinely hurt so there’s that

The bridge lyrical content got a bit too heavy for me personally — had to let my brain wander a bit

My Sins Are My Savior (feat. Stromae)

I fear we’ve lost the plot a bit

This feels like Madame X (derogatory)

I don’t know who hurt Stromae so bad that he doesn’t make uptempo bangers anymore but that must be fixed

Oh dear, this is an absolute skip

Things I am hearing: strings, pianos, warped vocalizations, Bedtime Stories whispers, syncopated breathing, steel drums. Maybe just do a little less??? Goddamn

Betrayal

Trip hop? Girl WHAT

Ohhhh of course Mirwais produced this

I guess this is for the ketamine girlies

Probably a great song buried in here but it feels content to just be a bit surface level

The horns and piano and trip hop drums are great together but if there was any song where she shouldn’t sing and should just talk or whisper it’s THIS ONE. The vocals are taking me out of the strange dark ally energy of the instrumentation.

I don’t even dislike it but what is it doing here

The Test (feat. Lola Leon)

Okay mother daughter duet

Little star! Okay Ray of Light call back

Okay so these aren’t really dance songs anymore and that confuses me

Well at least Lourdes sounds great

This is so Music coded

Not really hitting for my lyrically

Upon further investigation I’ve learned these last three songs on the album are considered “bonus tracks” and not on the physical release so at least there’s that

LES Girl

How did we get to a guitar ballad? HOW.

Going home from the afters at 5am music

This American Life pastiche is wild

I think I get it but mostly I’m just gagged at the audacity of the last few third of this record

Speechless that this is where we’re ending even if this is in its own right a great song

The journey of this album is best possible scenario of what I expect from Madonna 43 years into her career.

It starts off strong, falters a bit due to strange structural choices, finds a wonderful groove and then manages to collapse into itself in the final stretch. But through it all this is the best Madonna record in 20 years and that is something we should be celebrating. Fans will hear traces of every 1990-2005 Madonna album at one point or another and most of the time it really works.

“Danceteria” is an immediate classic and there are enough other absolutely fabulous tracks here to give this a more than positive review. Like most pop acts, this album just needed a firm editor and it could’ve been maybe even better than the original COADF. But again, my least favorite songs are only on the digital version, and not on the original standard edition, which does mean something to me ultimately.

When you pull this up on your streaming service of choice, you will experience a sequel that delivers 2/3s of the way on the promise because it simply goes on too damn long. But you will dance. You’ll dance a lot. And that, really, is the point.

Once again, thank you to Dramafriend for the guest live react!!

I, for one, am exactly halfway through the record and am SHOCKED that Madonna has an album this good in her pocket forty years in. Queen shit.

Once, while I was working at a local-famous coffee shop/ restaurant in my early 20s, a manager, one of the Cool Boys who ran the shop, was making a playlist for the day. I offered a new album. He denied. I insisted! This was cool new music! He then looked me dead in the eye and said:

“Once you hit thirty, you won’t listen to any new music. You’ll just return to whatever you listened to in your twenties.”

I was horrified.

What??? No! Impossible! I was a music gourmandizer! I consume, digest, and spit out new music (often in the form of recommendations-hello, dear reader). It was unthinkable to imagine myself stalling out and seeking only the familiar once I hit 30.

Now clocking in life at a grizzled 34, it’s safe to say that I still listen to new music, discover new bands, and, yes, listen to old bands I liked pre-30.

For those of you who are coming along with me as I embark on my music critic journey, I have a hunch staving off the taste-lock is a priority for you too, regardless of your age.

As thanks, I offer up my 30 Under-30 Club playlist.

These are a bunch of songs from albums I’ve listened to in the first quarter of the year, no order, just grouped by album and artist.

Enjoy!

And a final little treat for all ye faithful. My top five albums of the year thus far!

• Dancing on the Wall- MUNA

• Cry Baby- Vince Staples

• bitknot- feeble little horse

My first AOTM this year, bizarre, barely held together musings on the plight of the modern girl.

An early olr that has stuck with me throughout the year. The most original electronic band this side of LCD Soundsystem but without a chance of selling out.

The banner hardcore release this year. Medieval punk that sounds like the soundtrack to a glorious victory feast.

The tenderest little collage record that is full of quiet optimism and new sentimentality. It sounds like watching every single moment of the world pass you by.

The best album of the year so far by a mile and my March Album of the Month. April Harper Grey is having an insane glow-up and with her thorough songwriting, keen production ear, and energetic performances, deserves ever word of praise given to her.

WOWWWZAAAA

That’s a lot of music!

As always, let me know any favorites or discoveries in the comments. Thanks for following along.

<3

ot

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