The Quiet Reason Why Tim Rodrigues’s Arrest Matters So Much

The other day, I wrote about the domestic violence issues surrounding a fundie influencer by the name of Tim Rodrigues — as well as the whole Rodrigues clan. (Or as they call themselves, “Rodrigues family serving Christ” or something.)

Since that post went up, even more stuff as popped off.

Don’t believe it? Here’s the case file.

And yes, there is written evidence that Timmy got arrested.

So yeah. To no one’s surprise, another Christian fundie got arrested this week, for a common crime in their circles: domestic violence. He also apparently got popped for being a reckless driver.

Fun fact: some abusers will drive dangerously with the sole purpose of scaring their victims. That’s a sign that most people don’t really talk about and a sign you should know.

Jill seems to be doing everything to try to manipulate the situation by pulling the “woe is me” card. She’s posted photos of Tim’s old birthday cards to her, talked about Jesus on the cross, and some other stuff about how important it is to support your kids.

Needless to say, she’s really trying to get a pity party going. It doesn’t seem like too many are falling for this trap.

I’m not a doctor, but I’ve experienced a lot of narcissism in my past. I’ve grown up with them in my close proximity. And that’s why I am aware of how narcissists operate.

If you’ve ever dealt with a narcissist before, you might have noticed that the tactics used by Jill and her family are almost identical to the tactics that narcissists use to hide their own abuse. That’s by design, actually.

Of course, this is starting to become common knowledge. Dana Craig even made a poem called “The Narcissist’s Prayer” that encapsulates this behavior perfectly:

That didn’t happen.
And if it did, it wasn’t that bad.
And if it was, that’s not a big deal.
And if it is, that’s not my fault.
And if it was, I didn’t mean it.
And if I did, you deserved it.

Think about it. To fundie churches, the church is numero uno: not the society it’s supposed to serve. Fundie churches go out of their way to control, will-break, gaslight, and consume its own members.

These types of churches act like a narcissist would — primarily because that’s how they keep their BITE model going. The church wants total control, or else. They want church leaders to soak up all the money, praise, and loyalty, or else.

And if you’re not high-ranking in the church? All the better to abuse you, control you, use you, and possibly discard you when you are no longer useful or profitable for them.

Much like narcissists, these religious circles don’t grasp the idea that women could be their own person rather than extensions of their church or husbands.

These types of toxic fundies don’t see women as people. They just view women as a resource of labor, child-rearing, and sex. Since they view women as a currency they expect women to submit to abuse.

If you think of the church system as a narcissistic abuser, a lot of things become very clear.

After all, abusers are great at spinning religion into a cudgel to beat others with. These churches often maintain a policy that requires them to keep the men in the religion no matter the cost — including the cost of women’s lives.

The way they do this is by shoving the blame of men’s actions onto women. This is why you often see women being forced to apologize for “tempting men to sin” in churches after sex abuse is discovered.

What I’m saying is that men in these churches are not used to experiencing consequences no matter how fucked they are.

Being a man in the fundie world means that you basically are treated like a slave owner. You practically own your wife and kid. Your wife is expected to cater to your every fucking need because it’s “godly” or something.

Because fundies value men so much more than they do women, these churches will often bend over backward to allow men an easy way to escape consequences.

As a man, all you typically have to do in order to avoid any actual consequences in these churches is look all sad-eyed, cry a crocodile tear, and talk about how you’re going to “humble yourself before God for your sins.”

Then, the church will try to cow your beaten-up wife to agree to stay with you, go to “counseling,” and tell her to “keep sweet” since her dour demeanor is making them uncomfortable.

The tactics used by Tim and Jill typically work like a charm in fundie circles — provided that you’re male, white, and “Christian” enough for Evangelicals to give the nod to you.

I can’t imagine what a shock to their systems it was to see that little Timmy actually got *gasp* arrested for the violence he enacted on Heidi. I imagine it’s the same shock that the Duggar men got when they got popped for sexual assaults on minors.

In recent years, the fundie world’s pristine veneer has been crumbling to pieces. A world that was often overlooked by police and onlookers due to it’s “moral” appearance is starting to reveal itself as what it is: abusive.

Josh and Joseph Duggar, both of the Duggar Christian influencer clans, got popped for CSAM in 2022 and 2026 respectively. This a big deal because at one point, they were fundie royalty and they were literally treated as aspirational role models.

People are starting to wonder why a family would raise not one, but two or potentially more, abusive men. Moreover, the Duggars have also had repeated brushes with child abuse and child endangerment allegations.

Timothy Rodrigues is now facing arrests over his domestic abuse, too. More importantly, both the Duggars and Rodrigues families are now confirmed to have been abusive towards children.

You might be wondering what the pattern is here. Let me explain it:

• Those guys knew it was wrong to treat others like that, but did it anyway. If Tim didn’t know it was bad, why did he start off his original post talking about how his dad beat him with an aluminum bat?

• The reason they did it wasn’t only because of how they were raised, but because they thought they would get away with it. That’s the truth. If it was just because they felt uncontrollable rage, they would have hurt themselves too. Go ahead. Ask me how I know.

• There’s a growing mountain of evidence showing that if you’re abusive, the church can’t stop victims from seeking justice via legal grounds. Before the 2020s, most Evangelical women would have simply been able to be dissuaded from speaking by church officials. The first Duggar affair was an example of how churches would often pull strings to silence victims.

• Fundie men are starting to realize that they can no longer hide behind Jesus to keep their bullshit going on. Even if the women aren’t the ones talking, feds and mandated reporters will speak up.

• Fundie women are starting to take a stand against the way men treat them. In this case, Heidi’s family was wise enough to stand up alongside her and say that they weren’t going to sacrifice their family member on the altar of religion. However, she’s not alone. Other ex-fundie influencers are also starting to speak up about the church-sanctioned abuse they went through. This has certain types of men sweating bullets, for obvious reasons.

Even 10 years ago, this kind of reaction was nigh unthinkable in the fundie world. Now, it’s increasingly becoming the norm.

Churches shelter abusers. I can’t name how many abusive people I know who were able to hide behind religion as a way to allow them to look like good people while doing appalling things. That’s clearly not working as well as it once did.

Timothy’s arrest, as well as the Duggar arrests, were the proverbial canary in the coal mine. The men involved in those cases were considered to be untouchable by the church and by the societies they grew up in.

Men who have serious church rank used to have serious power — and to a point, they still do. I don’t think most people realize how much power a reputable churchgoer can wield in some American societies.

That clout was a “Get Out Of Jail Free” card for men. It didn’t matter what they did. They were major assets to their ministries which meant that their crimes were always going to be scuttled under the rug.

This is the wakeup call saying, “Ding ding! Time’s up! You can’t be a piece of shit anymore. This time around, you will have consequences and your church pastor won’t be able to keep people under your thumb.”

Now that these men are starting to realize they will still face consequences, I’m curious about whether or not Christian fundie men will adapt to their new reality.

Truth be told, they don’t have a choice. They have to adapt to the reality of consequences. One of the biggest breakout studies about abuse shows that most abusers abuse because it actually gets them what they want. They get rewarded from it and will often rationalize the means of how they got it.

So they are starting to realize they are no longer able to abuse women the way they once were. They can’t do their usual song and dance. Yet I don’t think most of them lack the self-awareness to realize that they are the problem.

So, what will happen?

Will they start to realize that the systems they were raised in don’t make for healthy families? Will they start to break the cycles they were added into? Or, will they try to find another way to try to force things to “return to normal” as far as their power is concerned?

I don’t know the answer, to be honest. What I do know is that abusers rarely give up their power without a fight and they won’t stop unless they realize they’re outgunned. Abusers generally won’t change until they are forced to — and the only way that happens is with consequences.

With all that said, I don’t think that most of these fundamentalist churches will ever actually hold men fully accountable for what they put their wives through. I just hope I get proven wrong.

While this all sounds doom and gloom, there is a silver lining. Timothy’s first post revealed that he also realizes that the way he was treated wasn’t right. That, in and of itself, is a huge deal.

A lot of abusers are not fully aware how bad their actions are primarily because they were raised to think that’s normal. I knew of at least one parent who laughed about all the times her mom backhanded her, typically after smacking her own daughter around while calling her “weak.”

That young girl is now grown — and she realizes that her mom’s behavior is not okay and is currently working on going no-contact with her parent. With that said, she still struggles with her anger and is breaking the cycle by using therapy books and working on herself.

This story is far from unique.

A lot of ex-Christians I’ve met have a moment when they actually have to come to terms with the cruel shit they did because they felt it was what “Jesus wanted” them to do. That’s often the start of their deconstruction — that, or being the one being abused and realizing that’s not normal.

Obviously, the path these men choose is up to them. Some will pass the buck and try to blame their parents for their own actions. Others absolutely will change and deconstruct once they realize how fucked their upbringing really was.

I guess it’s a crapshoot after all.

All I can say is that I’m happy to see this shift in the fundie world and that I hope the men who have normalized abuse are able to get better and be better. I honestly never thought I’d see the day it’d happen.