Do you struggle with motivation?

Two jobs ago in Silicon Valley, I had a co-worker who was a total sweetheart. We’re still in touch to this day.

She dreaded going to the gym. She knew she had to. But dreaded it every time.

And she didn’t understand why I was always excited to go. She wished she could have felt like I felt.

I told her it’s a change in language and attitude.

“Oh have to go to the gym” she’d utter like a chore.

I’d tell her “I get to go to the gym today.” Or better, “I can’t wait to get the fuck out of here and get to the gym.”

You treat things like a pain in the ass, then they’ll be a pain in the ass. But if you look forward to them, then you’ll look forward to going.

Is it that simple?

Why yes. But you need a mindset shift…

Everyone thinks in terms of overnight successes. They’ll see a band come from nowhere and suddenly, they’re millionaires.

What they don’t see is everyone in the band were musicians for over 10 years. Most are in their 3rd or 4th bands.

That debut album?

Those songs are all 5-7 years old. Worked and altered for 5-7 years.

Performed live with different bands.

They’ve been booed.

They’ve had bottles thrown at them.

They had relatives telling them they’re fucking idiots and give up and “get a real job.”

But they’re too stubborn to quit and years later, it finally pays off.

That’s the attitude you have to have with everything. From working out to diet to your hobbies and/or artistic pursuits.

Don’t be a perfectionist either. It’s better to do a mediocre job at the dishes than let them sit there overnight.

It’s better to scribble some bullshit on a paper than not draw at all.

It’s better to write 1000 words of absolute crap than give up on your poem and watch TikTok videos instead.

Just get started.

You need to train your brain to pat yourself on the back for small efforts. Because guess what? When you do that, your brain likes those little pats on the back. Then small efforts become slightly larger. And those 1% improvements every day become HUGE when you’re thinking in terms of years.

For some odd reason, everyone’s scared to pat themselves on the back. Then they wonder why they’re so miserable.

I go to the gym because I want to be in every reputable winery in America. I also run one day a week because I want to be in every reputable winery in America.

“What does that have to do with the gym and running?”

Everything.

My enemy is time. Every day is one day I won’t get back and I’m already in my 50s. I ain’t getting any younger.

The gym gives me more healthy years. So does running.

Have one insane goal. But take baby steps.

I write 3 articles a week here on Substack. 2 self-help, written mostly for men because masculinity was demonized in the San Francisco/Silicon Valley area for the past decade (actually since the 90s but it really accelerated this past decade).

And one article is cultural.

Now, the cultural article is always a blast. I love writing it. I love writing it so much that I usually finish the Friday article before I even start the Wednesday article.

But my trick with the other two is I have a lot of drafts. And start each draft with an idea and an outline. Make it stupid simple. Because that’s what you want to do for yourself - you want to make it easy for the future you.

Working out consistently will make walking up the stairs easy for old man you, while your peers will all have to use the elevator. Heck, I practically run up a Mayan pyramid last year while there were Americans in their 20s who didn’t even want to climb it.

Video of a monkey jumping shot by yours truly from the top of a Mayan pyramid.

Heck, I just got back from the post office mailing 3 OT magazines and the guy behind me was in his 60s and his foot was fucked up. Super nice guy. We had a great conversation while waiting in line. But he regretted not taking his health seriously.

Writing an outline makes the future you look at the outline and just flesh it out. Easy!

When I draw, I setup a simple grid first. A bunch of lines where the eyes, nose, mouth, ears, jaw, hair, etc all go so I only have to add details and shading.

Make things easy on yourself. Treat your future self like a dear friend you want to help out.

That’s another reason why I love going food shopping. We shop once a week on Sunday mornings. And I select all the food that both of us will eat for the week.

95% of it is healthy. And I’ll also get something like ice cream because I already know we’ll work out 5 times during the week and run on Sunday. So I reward our future selfs with ice cream because we’ve been good.

That food shopping is our guarantee that barring bad luck like a bad car accident or cancer, we’ll be healthy in our 60s and 70s. Because you are what you eat. Literally.

I tell people to try an elimination diet and see how your body reacts to each food when it’s reintroduced back in. We’ve found that meat is where it’s at for us. Most of our calories come from meat.

We also learned about fermented foods, and now ferment religiously.

Your results may differ. You’ll need to find what works for you.

But the point is be good to your future self. Treat your future self like a dear friend.

Hey. Take a break from reading this right now and take some money out of your wallet and stick it in a jacket. Do that now.

The future you will forget you did this, then reach into his pocket and find some money and be stoked.

Another reason I don’t need motivation is I’m good to elite at multiple things.

Some days, I’m not in the mood to draw or paint. So I’ll play guitar or write.

But you know what I’m not doing?

Wasting time.

Of course, Anna and I watch movies or tv shows. I’m not one of those productivity nuts who productivities all the fun out of life.

We’ll also hop on a cruise ship for a week, drink heavily, and trade life stories with random strangers we’ll never see again.

You have to have down time.

When I was in my 20s, it was camping. Today, it’s travel. Do what’s right for YOU, not what’s right for some productivity guru who pretends to be happy.

But do what’s right for you.

Pick hobbies YOU enjoy. Not to impress others. But something YOU enjoy.

The worst list I saw recently is what men’s hobbies turn women off.

Do you really care what some 300 lb chick with a stick up her butt finds cringe? Who gives a shit what she finds cringe? Personally, I find looking at her cringe.

She stinks too.

Get good at that hobby. As good as you possibly can.

And take lessons if you have to. I don’t have any natural artistic talent. I’m taking lessons to make up for it.

Same thing with tennis. I sucked at tennis. After lessons, I’m just mediocre now.

(Tennis is underrated).

Maybe one day I’ll take even more lessons and go from mediocre to decent.

You’re going to have bad days. And that’s ok.

When you beat yourself up for having a bad day, or not getting enough done, it demotivates you. It’s a very bad thing.

Just let those go. It happens.

You have no idea how many paintings I have in the garbage. You only see the good ones.

When I did music, I wrote well over a hundred songs. Whole songs, not just parts.

I published 5.

And when most people write songs, they don’t go all out.

Mine have real string quartets and real string orchestras. Real flutes and clarinets. A Jazz drummer. A session (almost always Jazz) bassist. And session vocalists because my singing is awful.

I can sing in time and on key so I’m relegated to harmony vocals. You’ll never hear me sing lead vocals.

But you do what you can.

All the guitars, pianos, and synths are performed by yours truly..

Don’t beat yourself up for a bad day. I got so many bad songs that nobody will ever hear. And I don’t care. No one will ever hear them.

I got a lousy horror short that nobody will ever see. It’s unwatchable. But I completed it. The second one will be better. I got Nitda Cee (do an image search, she’s a babe) to be the lead. She dies at the end.

How many people do you know who filmed a horror short? Even a bad one beats nothing. We got funny stories out of it.

Just do things. And if you flop, you flop. Learn from it and pat yourself on the back you actually did something.

I’m telling you, perfectionism causes misery. But if you do things in baby steps, you’ll keep getting better and better until you’re awesome. But you have to allow yourself to be mediocre because everyone starts at Level 0.

Bart, the guy who got me into Substack, first jammed with me when I was a few days shy from playing guitar for one whole year.

It blew him away how good I was.

Am I musically talented?

Nope. I sucked on the cello and the piano.

But when I bought an electric guitar with my own money, everything changed.

I practiced every single chance I got. And already after my first two years, I was elite and running out of people I could take lessons from.

I ended up taking one final lesson from Jason Becker, arguably the greatest shredder of the 80s.

It wasn’t talent. It was consistency. Constantly practicing.

You can apply this to anything.

The guy who goes to the gym, does two different exercises, 3 sets of each, and goes home after only being there 20-25 minutes smokes the inconsistent guy.

The guy who runs once a week smokes the guy who never runs.

The guy who walks every night after dinner smokes the guy who never does anything.

The guy who draws one hour a day religiously smokes the guy who never draws.

You got to do things for the future you.

Pack yourself lunch the night before.

I already told you about putting money in one of your jackets. I hope you did that.

Work out not to impress the babes but so your future you has less health issues. Once again, the guy I talked to at the post office regrets not exercising and watching his diet enough. Bless his heart. Good guy. But he’s hobbling now.

Take care of your future self.

Set things up for yourself. If you’re a writer, write an outline for your tomorrow’s self so all you have to do is follow the outline.

If you’re an artist, make a grid so all you have to do is fill in details and shading. People’s faces are grids. Grids make proportions easier. Buildings are grids. Grids make everything easier.

But whatever you do, make it easier for the future you.

I don’t like leaving a mess for tomorrow’s me and Anna. I like leaving them a clean house. You know why? Because I love them both.

Love the future you. Take care of the future you. Treat the future you like a dear friend.

Heck, do yourself another favor. Take a little bit of money and stick it into your retirement account. That right there is loving the future you.

Eat more protein and less carbs. Eat more single ingredient foods. That’s also loving the future you.

You know what else is loving the future you?

Getting started. Why are you wasting time on TikTok or Instagram? How is that loving the future you?

Get started on what you should be doing. You already know what you should be doing.

If you need a reason, tell yourself it’s to love the future you.

And start stupid small. Like if you’re a writer, start with two sentences. You’d be surprised how two sentences can open up the flow state.

If you’re a musician, play a chord progression. Start jamming it. And suddenly, boom! You now have the core of a new song.

You get what I’m saying?

Start stupid small. And from there, the flow state will open up.

Because the future you is awesome and deserves to be loved.

Nothing in the paid section today except for the nudes.