6 Pre-CGI Sword and Sorcery films you need to see

I don’t hate CGI. “Pirates of the Caribbean” and the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy are some of my favorite movies ever.

The problem is Hollywood nowadays relies too heavily on effects and not enough on character development.

A good story has memorable characters. And if the characters are good enough, you can forgive cheap sets. Heck, look at Jim Henson’s “The Storyteller.” Cheapest sets out there but every single episode is soooo good!

I’m only going to cover the Fantasy sub-genre of Sword and Sorcery. So no gunpowder. No lasers. No Sword and Sandals movies either as that’s a different sub-genre of Fantasy.

And no animation either. So no “Fire and Ice,” which of course I loved and own the DVD.

If you’ve seen these movies, let me know which one is your favorite.

Oh, and before we get started, the sooner we turn a profit on OT Magazine, the sooner issue #2 comes out. Which will feature six more bad ass Substack writers. And of course hot babes.

Switching back and forth between 16th century Scotland and present day, we have our protagonist Connor MacLeod who in the present day goes by Russell Nash.

He’s an immortal, who can only die via decapitation. And he’s not the only one.

Sean Connery makes a brief appearance as MacLeod’s friend and mentor.

Queen wrote the soundtrack and of all their 80s soundtracks, this is their best.

A little on the cheesy side but so what? It’s freaking awesome!

Whatever you do though, don’t see the sequel. Worst movie ever made. When I get rich, I’m going to pay a hypnotist to remove Highlander II from my brain.

Ridley Scott wanted to write a fairy tale.

With elves, dwarves, fairies, goblins, ogre, a pair of unicorns, and the Prince of Darkness himself, played perfectly by Tim Curry.

Be sure to watch the European version. No offense to Tangerine Dream, who is excellent, but the European version is even better. Darker, with an ambiguous ending. And the fairies behave more like real fairies.

Everyone I’ve ever talked to likes this movie except for one thing - the soundtrack.

By the mid-80s, disco was dead. So why a disco soundtrack?

Beats the heck out of me.

An evil bishop who curses two lovers. Because if he can’t have her, no man shall.

Matthew Broderick plays a thief caught in the middle and adds a little comic relief to a serious story.

A Disney movie so dark they literally created a new company (Touchstone Pictures) so they wouldn’t have their name associated with their darker direction.

You get to see what’s left of a princess getting devoured by the dragon’s babies.

I saw it in the theater in 1981 and was shocked Disney had something like that. It’s Disney, for Pete’s sake.

And the best dragon ever filmed. You’d be hard pressed to find anyone who’s seen this movie to say with a straight face there’s ever been a dragon filmed better than Dragonslayer’s dragon.

This movie influenced me so much that when I wrote a dance song for Roxy, I used this movie (and Shirley Jackson’s “The Lottery”) as the lyrical inspiration.

You’ve heard me talk about how Frazetta brought back Conan. Well, this movie literally borrowed Frazetta’s Conan aesthetics.

A dang fine looking movie with a hero who doesn’t have to explain why he’s a hero.

The bad guy, played perfectly by James Earl Jones, decapitates his mother when he was just a boy. Then he’s sold into slavery.

Becomes a pit fighter.

Becomes the most bad ass pit fighter of his generation.

Then for some odd reason, the red headed man sets him free.

I won’t say the rest but if you haven’t seen it yet, what are you even doing? Drop whatever’s in your hand (unless it’s a baby or a hand grenade) and go watch it. Then you can thank me later.

Inspired a lot of real bad knockoffs.

The sequel? Garbage. Didn’t hold up at all.

And the remake was even worse.

A kid’s movie executed so well that I saw a VHS tape from communist Romania of it. No, I didn’t get to see that version. But I saw the VHS tape’s cover.

Fantasia is dying. Consumed bit by bit by The Nothing until there’s nothing left.

Only one person can save it and it’s not who you’d expect.

The actual author of the book disowned the movie because it’s only the first half of his book. But as a standalone movie, it’s memorable. I was fortunate to see it in the theater with my best friend at the time.