Reading · OLD JEWISH MEN · RSS Amplifier

Welcome to BHIF for Friday June 19th, 2026. Baruch Hashem (Thank God) It’s Friday is The Old Jewish Men weekly roundup where we get to all the crap that actually matters in the world. Obituary winners. Matchmaking. Market watch. Marketplace finds. Complaint of the week. Joke of the week. You get the picture.

The cheating New England Patriots between 2001–2019. The Jordan-led Chicago Bulls of 1991–1998. The juiced-up New York Yankees between 1996–2000. The Splash Brothers from the Golden State Warriors between 2015–2022. The boring but efficient San Antonio Spurs between 1999–2014. The feuding Los Angeles Lakers between 2000–2010. Brady, Kobe, Curry, Jordan, Pippen, Duncan, and all the rest of the players that heaped glory onto their cities.

They were liked in the beginning by the broader public, their charming little origin stories…the humble beginnings, the chronicles of late draft picks of undersized guards like Curry, who came from a small school and became unlikely superstars. The Tom Bradys who were overlooked in the draft. When they won, they were unlikely winners who would likely never win again. They were underdogs.

That’s the secret to success with the public. Lose too much and you’ll be mocked, but win too much and be maligned. Winners are accused of cheating, of rigging, of pushing their own mothers into traffic to stay on top.

Above is Jalen Brunson’s upper, hairy arm. For all you midwestern readers out there, Brunson (more like RUNT-SON) is the star player on the NBA Championship New York Knicks. He is 6 feet tall, short-armed, barrel-chested, and shoulder-haired. He is a biological underdog. The David to the 7-foot-5 French Goliath, Wemby, his recent Finals opponent.

There is no reason why Brunson is an NBA Champion other than hard work and determination. He is not physically gifted. He is the OJM of NBA stars. A stumpy-legged, quick-footed, but not very athletic guard with a tiny wingspan. Like Brady and Curry, Brunson’s gift is his intellect, his work ethic, and his determination. And his downfall will be winning too much.

We hope that the Knicks go back to what they were before this confounding victory. It’s strange to think of the Bockers as winners. Maybe this year they were. But never again. Well, let’s at least wait another 53 years.

At the end of the day, no one likes a winner.

Aaron, Bob and Dave sort of enjoyed their last cup of split pea soup at Cozy Soup-n Burger. Well, the ice was too cold and the service was bad and it was overpriced but whatever, it’s a Manhattan mainstay, or was. Cozy Soup-n Burger opened in 1972 and was made famous by Rob Schneiders character in Big Daddy. It’s Greek owned (big surprise) and will probably be a vape store or T-mobile outlet by this time next week. It’s sad the way it goes in New York - rent go up, food prices go up, people stop going, and then these places close. Eventually it’ll just be salad chains and Chinese coffee shops that don’t take cash. But at least we’ll be skinny.

Rob Schneider, who won an Oscar for his 1999 role in Big Daddy

Bob, armed with his trusty folder, poses with fans

an off the wall OJM watch party in full swing

Hard to say what an old newspaper like that is worth today? potential buyers would need to know: Was it ever read on the toilet? What about in transit? ALSO, What a good head of hair on this fella ^

Old Jewish Men’s 3rd Annual Rotisserie Chicken Competition is finally HERE.

Registration is CLOSED - but, we will be opening 5 spots for in person contestants on the day of if they bring HARD $$$ CASH.

SEE YOU THERE.

AARON DAVE AND BOB will be judging along with newcomer, JOHNNY NOVO

A @ritazimmermanstudio chicken painting to celebrate the occasion

→ Complaint of the Week: Our weekly complaint columnist, Leecy Davis (she always has something to bitch about)

My mayor Muslim, my bagels Jewish, my Christian Dior, Knicks in five…” Wow, National Champions! And all I can think about is how this newsletter and all old Jewish men — lets be honest, Jews in general — are going to find a new way to bitch about the Knicks. What will they do next that is unsightly, unseemly and downright heartburn inducing? Will them winning be enough of a complaint - I mean it’s June in NYC with Pride, the Puerto Rican festival, and the Knicks winning… I’m sure there’s some weariness for the noise and general happiness the population is feeling, god forbid we aren’t all suffering! One good thing happens for Jews and the next second we’re already annoyed by it… all those kippah wearing kids dancing in the streets for good ole Jalen Brunson, I promise you were smoking a lucy and bitching about the crowds as soon as the camera turned. I mean who cares about them winning this year, lets be realistic, they have to do it again next year and no one has answered the question of "if they can". I’m already over it now.

→ Joke of the Week (Archie Bunker)

All kids are trouble, Edith. And I don't wanna spend my reclining years trying to raise another one.

→ Wisdom of the Week (Phil Jackson)

In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities; in the expert’s mind there are few.

→ Ask the (Eastern Standard Time) Rabbi

Friday June 19th

8:15pm: Shabbat begins (conking out)

Sat June 20th

9:21 pm: Shabbat ends (more brisket next time)

New York Basketball@NBA_NewYork

It has been announced that the Cleveland Cavaliers will have a float in the parade. Kenny Atkinson’s Analytical Float will traverse the Canyon of Heroes