That Skank On The Next Block Blues

You maxed out all my credit cards

Left my Porsche down on the dock

Went home with that skank

Who lives on the next block

You gave a cop the finger

Got a tattoo on your neck

Sent caviar to your mother

And stuck me with the check

You vaped during communion 

The priest was not amused 

You ordered shots at Chick-fil-A

That poor girl was so confused

You woke up feeling guilty

But conveniently failed to mention

Your plan to fill a U-Haul  

And sell all of my possessions

That’s the last straw, baby

It’s time to hit the road

Say goodbye to the dog

I’m changing all the codes

That’s the last straw, baby

It’s time to hit the road

Say goodbye to the dog

I’m changing all the codes

My daddy loved his jet ski

You crashed it on the rocks

You seduced my broker

And cashed in all my stocks

You said you would do better

You said today’s a new beginning

But you streaked across the ball field

At the the top of the third inning

You called me a bitch

And you know how much I hate that

You also called me, lazy, smelly, sloppy, dumb

Ignorant and fat

Then you said “I’m sorry”

You said, “Baby, come back to bed

And tell me that you love me”

But I wrote this song instead

That’s the last straw, baby

It’s time to hit the road

Say goodbye to the dog

I’m changing all the codes

That’s the last straw, baby

It’s time to hit the road

Say goodbye to the dog

I’m changing all the codes

Say goodbye to the dog

I’m changing all the codes